Just like, whatever Lucy is holding back, is going to shatter what’s left of it.
“Lucy,” I begin, already uneasy.
She turns to face me head-on instead of giving me her striking profile, and there’s something in her grey eyes that makes my chest tighten painfully, a sign that I’m right even though I don’t want to be.
“We can’t keep doing this,” she murmurs on a soft sigh.
The words hit like a punch dead to my gut.
“What?” I shake my head. “What are you talking about?”
She swallows. “Dallas… don’t pretend it doesn’t bother you, too. All this hiding. Sneaking around. I feel like I’m constantly looking over my shoulder, expecting someone from the Order to rip us apart.”
Theywon’t. “We’re careful?—”
“That’s not the point. You’re worth it. If I thought that they’d let us be together and you wouldn’t pay the price for it, I’d say screw ‘em. But you’re Dallas Collins?—”
Does she think I don’t know that?
Collins…
I step closer, lowering my voice as I curl my fingers around her upper bicep. “Is this about my father? About Jack?”
Lucy flinches, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the way I seemed to lunge at her or because I reminded us both who that prick is: myfather. My blood. The man I can’t escape, and who I never wanted Lucy to meet…
My jaw tightens though I’m careful not to squeeze her arm. “I told you not to worry about him.”
Her gaze drops to the grass. “What about your mom?”
Something dark and angry coils up low in my belly. “That has nothing to do with this. Withus.”
“It does.” It’s a whisper, spoken to the ground. “I know you can tell. And I don’t blame you for being on edge. Being angry. You’re hurt?—”
“I’m fine, Luce.”
A peek up at me, an expression that says she doesn’t believe me.
My heart stops and I freeze long enough for her to escape my hold.
“Lucy,” I rasp, reaching for her again, stunned when she stumbles back and away so that I can’t. “Don’t do this.”
Not when I still taste you on my tongue. Not when your moans are the last thing I heard… don’t make that a kiss-off, Lucy. Don’t say goodbye?—
“I love you,” she says. “But this—us—it’s too dangerous.”
“No.” The word comes out harsher than I mean it to, but, fuck it, that’s fear talking. Dallas Collins, who isn’t afraid of shit, is panicking at the idea of losing the only goddamn thing that means anything to him. “No, it’s not.”
She hesitates. And that hesitation tells meeverything.
I hold out my hand, giving her the choice to take it. If she refuses me, I don’t know what I’ll do. If she?—
Lucy lays her shaky fingers on mine. It’s chilly out. She doesn’t have a coat, never brought one to the restaurant earlier when the October weather was much warmer. I want to believethat’s why she’s shivering, but as I pull her into my arms and she goes up on her tiptoes, her lips finding the side of my throat… I know better.
She kisses my skin, then pulls away. And I let her.
“Luce…”
She opens her mouth, then closes it. Her stormy eyes glisten with unshed tears, but she doesn’t cry. Not yet.
