He turned me into a killer.
I’ve been my father’s top enforcer for the last decade. His attack dog, if you will. Anyone who steps out of line, I’m there to make them pay in the name of the Order of the Owed. I don’t even know how it happened, only that it did, and I guess I was beaten down enough because I’ve never thought seriously of turning my gun on my old man.
Me? Before I met Lucy, I’d thought about it. Adrian would find a way to resurrect me so he could kick my ass if I tried, but there were times… yeah. I thought about it. After what happened to Mom a few months ago… if it wasn’t for having Lucy in my life, I might’ve.
But I never targeted Jack. The fucker is untouchable. To take down the King would be to destroy all of Harmony Heights, and I… I wish I was a strong enough bastard myself to do it. Sure, I don’t ever want to be King myself, but my daddy issues shouldn’t lead to the entire Order imploding.
Especially since I can’t say for sure he’s the reason Mom jumped. Oh, I can guess… and considering my own ideation, I wouldn’t blame her for ending her life when Jack refused to end their sham of a marriage… but I don’tknow.
And one of the biggest skills Jack taught me in his quest to break his boy by molding him into the future King is how to lie to anyone. Look at me. I can believe that Mom jumped rather than having beenpushedfrom all those stories the same as I can convince myself that Lucy will be satisfied sneaking around with me until I finally grow a pair and tell Jack that I’ll have her or I’ll have no one.
Fucking Order. I’ve always known what’s expected of me. A wife by thirty, at least one son to pass on the Collins name, and my neck on the line if I disobey my old man. I never cared before, but with Mom gone and Jack dropping hints that I still have something to lose… sneaking around is all I can offer Lucy.
So if she wants to take a walk around the park beside me after I fuck her in the cramped cab of my truck, it’s the least I can do.
The scrap of well-manicured grass bordered near the back by closely grown trees separates this Stepfordesque suburban street from the part of Harmony Heights that makes it a city. The Fortress is located downtown, but on the west side, there’s a district with high-rise apartment buildings, liquor stores, laundromats, and cheap fast food restaurants. That’s where Lucy lives, and if I could whisk her away from it… if she’d let me… I would.
Only she’s made herself clear. When we started our fling, I knew she was the one for me. Lucy didn’t. Though she’s spent her life on the outer edges of the Order’s society, she refused to move up the ranks by joining the Used. If we were together, she wanted to be my girlfriend, not my mistress. She wanted to bemine, and in every way that I can be, I’m hers.
So I don’t use my position and Jack’s money to put her up in an apartment somewhere. We slink around after dark, necking like teens beneath the shadow of the trees after fucking like the mid-twenty-somethings we are. I have to go against my instincts and let her leave while knowing that, until Jack calls on me or one of my brothers needs me, I’ll park my truck down the street from Lucy’s apartment building, soothing my obsession by just knowing that she’s near…
It’s about a fifteen-minute walk through the park, not counting any detours. I hop out the driver’s side of the truck, adjusting my cock, running my fingers through my curls before wiping the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand. All I taste is Lucy, and that’s enough for now.
She waits for me to prowl around to the other side of the truck. Once I pop open her door, she slips her hand in mine so I can help her to the asphalt. It’s another excuse to touch, and areason to hold on to each other for a moment before we slip off into the dark.
This part of Harmony Heights is closed-down once the sun sets. Technically, the park is off-limits after dark. That just means that we shouldn’t run into anyone as we move through the trees. But shouldn’t isn’t definite, and I’m on my guard while Lucy is uncharacteristically quiet.
The late night air is cool, the sky over our head clear with a sliver of the moon our only company. We walk side by side, close enough that our arms brush. I want to lace my fingers through hers, but I can’t. We don’t do that in public, no matter the hour.
Just in case.
I ask her if she’s feeling okay, keeping my voice low as we move through the woods, taking a shortcut toward the park. My eyes are accustomed enough to the dark that I see the wistful smile she flashes before she nods, murmuring that it’s late. Itislate. I had a job to do with Bas earlier, and Lucy didn’t get off from the restaurant where she waits tables until well after closing. Only my obvious desperation to see her after the shit-show of a night I had—working over an Owed who tried to claim one of the Used that was a favorite of Jack’s—managed to convince her to climb into my truck when I intercepted her on her walk home.
I needed her. I need hernow, too, and though she’s right there, I can’t shake the feeling that she’s really a million miles away.
The park is quiet when we reach it, the path lit by low lamps that stay on around the clock. The large fountain—Lucy’s fountain—comes into view, stone basin wide and shallow, full of water that tinkles as the spray from the fountain hits it. A tall and narrow stone column rises from the center, the design creating a dandelion. Not the yellow weeds, though, but theillusion of the soft white fuzz… of ‘wishies’, as Lucy once called it… of the seeds that are everywhere during spring.
Lucy slows, her steps instinctive, like her body knows the place even before her mind recognizes that we’re almost there.
She loves this fountain, and so do I. Why? Because this is where I met her.
It was over a year ago, after another August Claiming ceremony that I avoided, and I was going for a run in the park. Shit. I was trying to outrace the demons in my head, and on my third lap around, I noticed the prettiest fucking girl I’d ever seen in my life, sitting on the edge of the fountain, talking on the phone. On my fourth lap, I’d lost my t-shirt somewhere in the woods, trying to catch her attention with my sweat-slicked chest.
It worked. She sat up from her slouch so quickly, she lost her balance on the edge of the fountain, falling backward into the basin. Her cheeks turned pink as I dashed over to help her out, she babbled an apology, and I knew that I could have her if I wanted her.
And I did.
Desperately.
No one is around. I’d tell if they were, and right now? I don’t think I would’ve given a fuck if someone was watching us. I take Lucy’s hand, ignoring the way she stiffens at the surprise contact, and tug her over to the fountain. Still holding tightly to her, I lean over, dipping my fingers into the water before flicking a few droplets toward her.
She laughs under breath, ducking away from it. “That’s cold.”
I chuckle, too. “Sorry, Dandelion. I thought you needed to cool off a little. Don’t tell me I didn’t make you hot.”
Something happens. I don’t know what. It was just a gentle tease, but the nearby lamp lights up her face and there was no hiding the way her expression changed so suddenly. With a softyet purposeful tug, she slips her hand from mine, brushing her hair out of her face.
I feel it then, as much as I see it written on her face. That subtle shift, like the ground is falling away from under my feet. Like something’swrong… I’d felt the same way when Jack called me into his office, a smug look in his eyes even as his lips were set in a tragic frown, and he told me to take a seat. I never would’ve guessed he’d tell me that Mom was gone, but I knew… Iknew… he was going to fuck up my world with whatever he had to say.
