I may be unlovable, but she’s not.
Loving her has never been the problem. In fact, it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
Clearing my throat, I allow myself one more moment of her touch before I pull my hands back and rub my tense shoulder instead.
“Can I ask you a question?” she murmurs, setting her chin on her knees.
“Always.”
“Is this why you left us?” she wonders, tilting her head to the side. “Because of something to do with your parents?”
A shaky breath leaves my lungs as I meet her concerned gaze.
My throat aches to tell her. To let all the words blaze the space between us like wildfire, cleansing everything and leaving room for new growth.
But I can’t.
“No, it’s not. I wish I could tell you.”
She groans, rolling her eyes. “I think I deservesomething, Gav. You abandoned us at that party. You were my designated driver, and you didn’t even care if I was safe.” Her voice cracks on the last few words.
The atmosphere shifts as this new version of that night slams into my mind.
“I told Auggie I was leaving. He was in charge of getting you home.” A sharp pain burns in my chest. “I found him before I left, and he said he was fine to drive.”
She shakes her head. “He wasn’t.”
I clench my hands into fists as my voice cracks like a whip through the air. “What?”
“It’s not his fault.” She lifts one shoulder half-heartedly. “I encouraged him to have another drink with me because I thought you were still there somewhere.”
My teeth grind together. “How did you get home?”
“I called Mama to come back and get us.”
Guilt sours my stomach. Everyone was asleep when I rushed back to the cabin that night to shove my things in a bag and leave. That means Lena had to wake her up.
“So please,” she begs. “Tell me the truth. I don’t want to be mad at you right now. Not after you told me about your past and promised we’re friends. But it feels like there’s a missing piece, and I want the truth. I don’t want this big secret looming over us anymore.”
Dark images from that night blaze through my mind like a torture device that my brain cycles through on my worst days.
Greedy hands on her thighs, inching up her dress. Hips pressing into hers, grinding her against the wall. Soft moans echoing through the hallway. Her back arching as the straps of her dress slip down her shoulders.
I let out a deep, heavy breath, trying to force the memories away.
This entire setting is intoxicating me. The quiet night and the warm water and the dim lights through the window from our crooked tree and the way Lena’s hair is curling around her temples from the humidity. All of it melds together and puts me under some sort of spell that I can’t fight against.
“You think knowing why I left will fix it?” I ask, and she nods in confirmation.
Maybe I’m tired of keeping everything bottled up inside me. Maybe I’m dying to get out of my own thoughts.
So the words seep out of me.
“I saw you.” I clear my throat. “I saw you with Brandon in that hallway.”
The color drains from her face, but I keep going.
“His hands up your skirt and his face in your neck.” Shame burns on my cheeks, even though I’ve only given away a tiny bit of information.
