I huff out a quiet laugh.
The temptation to go spy on the girls has been eating at me all morning. But they look happy—so much more content than I was expecting them to be in a new place, surrounded by strangers.
Millie and Avery have their plant free of its container, and they lower it to the hole together. They loosen the roots, carefully pull soil back around the seedling, then high-five each other when the job is complete. Turning to Eloise, they burst out laughing at the sight of the dirt all over her face. Millie laughs with her whole body,her head thrown back and shoulders shaking, and I can hear her even from thirty feet away and through a building.
My rib cage constricts as I watch Millie rub her hands on her jean-covered thighs before brushing the dirt from El’s face.
Ave and El have been through so much for their age that occasionally I forget they’re only five years old. Eloise is so lighthearted and carefree that sometimes she seems unaffected, but Avery’s tender heart is more somber than her sister’s. So seeing her face light up right now makes my own smile dance across my lips.
***
A herd of loud children walks into the main astronomy room, laughing and talking the whole way. Avery and Eloise have their arms looped together, and Millie tries to corral a wandering little boy back into the group.
“Uncle Finn,” Eloise calls, pulling Avery along with her as she runs to me. Two little bodies crash into my legs, and I crouch to hug them tightly, inhaling their summer-sun smell and feeling their warm cheeks against mine.
“Did you girls have a good morning?”
“It was the best,” Eloise squeals in my ear.
“That’s good. Now you get to build some rockets with me,” I say, getting one last squeeze of my girls before I encourage them to walk to where Rachel is waiting to greet everyone.
The other kids rush past me before Millie reaches where I’m standing, hands in the back pockets of her jeans and little strands of hair framing her flushed face.
She tilts her head. “I’ve been trying to figure out all day how I missed that you had kids. But it’s Uncle Finn, huh?”
“Yeah, I tried to come up with an epic uncle name, but it turned out ‘Finn’ is way easier for babies to say.” I run a hand through my hair. I’ve learned that it’s best to clear up any possible confusion,even if it makes things awkward. So I explain, “I guess I do have kids, though. They are my sister’s girls, but she passed away a few months ago.”
With a deep sigh, Millie pulls her hand from her back pocket and sets it on my forearm. I’m sure it’s supposed to be a comforting gesture, but it has the opposite effect. It makes my heart stutter, and my lungs feel twice their weight. “I’m so sorry.” She drops her hand and slips it back into her pocket.
Silence threads between us, as it usually does after this news.
Then Millie does me the biggest favor she could. She changes the subject. “I want a completely random name when my sisters start having kids. Not that they’re popping out babies anytime soon, but it’s fun to think about.” She shrugs with a grin. “Like ‘Cookie’ or ‘Sparkles’ or ‘Bubbles.’”
I try and fail to stifle the loud, hearty laugh that barks out of me, and the whole room goes quiet. Probably everyone in the entire museum is frozen, mouths wide-open and hands midair, like they’re so shocked by the sound that they have no idea how to handle it.
But as I release my laugh into the air, it feels like I’m shedding a layer of weight that’s been clinging to me. The lightened load is refreshing and unfamiliar.
As my laughter settles, I meet Millie’s wide eyes, her lips parted in surprise like she doesn’t even recognize me.
“I’ve never heard you laugh,” she whispers.
Before I can respond, Rachel and the kids start talking again. Hopefully, the whole museum gets back to its regularly scheduled programming. Millie beams at me like she’s broken the code to get inside my heart’s vault, and I can never admit that it’s because her aunt names sound like stripper names.
***
“Did you both brush your teeth?” I ask Ave while I run a brush down her hair. She turns her head and opens her mouth for me to see her sparkly clean teeth.
The girls deserved an ice cream date after their first day of camp. Nonno Lorenzo used to take Clara and me out for ice cream after our first day of school every year. Even when we started college, we were never too cool for an ice cream trip.
Eloise holds my phone up with the video poised to play. “Do I start it?”
I nod, laying down the brush and separating a section of Avery’s hair at the top of her head. Eloise hits play, holding the phone to her chest as a woman’s voice explains how to start the French braid.
Avery has been requesting them for a while now, and I’ve been trying my best to master them. The basic braid with the ends of her hair is simple enough, but French braids are proving much more challenging. My big fingers have trouble holding on to her smooth hair. The braid usually ends up too loose or crooked, with a few chunks missing, but Avery is a good sport and always tells me she loves it.
Eloise, on the other hand, hides from having her hair brushed, and I only force her into it about once a week. She’s a great hairstylist’s assistant, though.
As I get to the end of the braid, Eloise pauses the video and hands me the hair tie from her wrist. The braid is lopsided again, but she nods like it’s the best one she’s ever seen.
