‘I can’t. Dad’s got too much going on.’
‘Your dad would drop everything else in a heartbeat for you, no matter what it is. You must know that! I’m trying to find ways that we can get through this ourselves, keeping it under this roof, but in a way that helps give you what you need. Youmight think that Louisa is the only person who matters here, but you’re wrong. Louisa needs you to be the best version of yourself you can be – and I don’t mean strong and hard and always doing what has to be done no matter what. She needs the whole, healthy, happy version of you because that’s where she’ll learn what happiness is, what healthy emotions should look like. So if she’s going to see that, you need tobethat, and the only way that will happen is if you cut yourself some slack now and accept help to get back on track. And I know you’re not going to like this, but if that means medical help – tablets or whatever – then please don’t dismiss it out of hand. The most important thing for Louisa is that you’re well.’
At first, as Billie looked up, Zoe wondered if she’d taken in a single word of what she’d just said. She could only see incomprehension in the younger woman’s eyes. But then it was like rusty cogs were beginning to turn, and then a light came on.
‘I’ll be down in a minute to get some soup.’
Relief flooded through Zoe. It was one small, insignificant statement, and yet it meant so much more.
‘OK,’ she said. She reached to hug her and then checked herself. It wasn’t what Billie wanted, not yet, and she had to respect that. ‘I’ll go and finish warming it. Do you want me to? Should I call when it’s ready?’
‘It’s all right, I’ll dress Louisa and come down after.’
Zoe got up from the floor and, with a brief smile, made her way back to the kitchen.
28
Three weeks had passed since the incident with Lennon at Daffodil Farm. Events had moved at pace, almost faster than Zoe could keep up with, but for the most part it felt positive. Things were still tough, and there was a long way to go, but getting better every day.
Billie had good days and bad days, still more bad than good, but she was opening up more, and Zoe felt sure the tide was about to turn.
Fern was staying, temporarily, at Daffodil Farm with Victor and Corrine. Ostensibly, she was there to help them out. Since the attack, Victor had slowed down, and Corrine had been forced to spend more time helping him around the farm, and so Fern, who had a decent knowledge of that life, was filling in the gaps. Nothing strenuous – Corrine would never allow that – but enough to make her feel as if she was earning her keep. The truth was, they would never have turned her away. In light of the events leading up to Zoe’s request for their help, she felt guilty asking for it, but it had been the neatest solution, and she knew from Ottilie that they were always happy to lend a hand when someone needed a place to stay.
Zoe was heading to Kestrel Cottage when she saw Fern pegging out some washing in Corrine’s garden. Making a quick detour, she called hello.
‘Hi!’ Fern rushed to greet her. She looked like a different woman these days – serene and glowing. Life at Daffodil obviously suited her, and Zoe was happy to see it. ‘I was going to phone you,’ she said. ‘We’ve been offered a house!’
‘You and Maisie?’
Fern nodded. ‘We’ve got to view it first, but it sounds ideal. We’re planning to go over next week, and if we’re both happy, we can sign the papers and move in whenever we like. It’s a good street too, nice, friendly. At least that’s what I’ve heard. I’ll get a better idea when we go to look. Isn’t it lucky? I thought we’d be on the council list for ages.’
‘Two pregnant women – I’m sure they’d bump you up to the top.’
‘Even so…’
‘It’s brilliant…’ Zoe paused. ‘Everything else is all right? No trouble from…?’ Zoe didn’t need to spell it out. She’d worried unnecessarily when Fern hadn’t shown for their meeting after she’d announced she wanted to leave, but in the end it had been down to some commune meeting she’d forgotten about and couldn’t avoid if she didn’t want to alert anyone to her plans. And, as had often been the case, she hadn’t had access to a phone to let Zoe know.
‘No. Not sure they know where I am, but I haven’t heard from anyone there.’
‘That’s good. Have you had your scan appointment yet?’
‘I had a letter last week. Will it matter that I missed them in the beginning?’
‘I shouldn’t think so. This one will be just to date you accurately and make sure everything is all right. They’ll still call you back for your proper twenty-week check-up when it’s due.’
‘That’s good. Do you want to come in for a bit? Corrine is baking.’
Zoe smiled. ‘Of course she is. I would, but I’ve got to go and see my dad and Chantal before they leave.’
‘Oh, OK.’
‘Maybe I’ll call in on my way back.’
‘I’ll tell her. See you later then.’
Fern almost skipped back to her chores. It was strange talking to someone who wasn’t hell-bent on letting her know their opinion of her dad or Chantal or Lennon. But Fern hadn’t been involved and she barely knew them, so why would she?
Zoe’s phone began to ring in her pocket. ‘Never rains but it pours…’ she murmured as she noted her mum on the caller ID. Bad enough she had to go and face her dad feeling as if she was the cause of his current misfortune, even though she knew she wasn’t, but Cherie was bound to be complaining about something too. The fact was, Zoe had neglected her since the wedding, and she knew it. But so much had been going on she’d barely had time for more than a quick text to check in. She could have ignored the call now, turned her full attention to the visit she was about to pay to Kestrel Cottage, but what was the point in upsetting both her parents?
