“Oh God, oh God,” Newt was muttering at his side.
He was more on edge than River.
“Can I stand up and object if you don’t win?”
“Because that will go down so well.”
Newt laughed. “You’re going to win. I know you are.”
“No, I’m not. I know I’m not.”
“You’ll see.” Newt elbowed him.
River listened as the nominations for Best Actor were read out and clips shown from the films they were in. His was the last clip. It felt surreal to hear himself included with such famous actors. The section chosen fromMedway Boyswas where he’d stepped in to protect Omid from some thugs, then opened his heart.
He thought Alex Morgan would get it for his part in a film about a road trip made by a father and son. Alex played the son with early onset dementia travelling with his much older father. The film was touching and ticked all the right boxes.
River felt surprisingly calm. He was ready to smile, poised to applaud the winner. The metallic gold envelope was opened and his heart jumped a little in his chest. Because…
“And the winner is…”
It probably wasn’t long before the next words emerged but it felt a lifetime.
“River Lawson forMedway Boys.”
River had started to clap for Alex Morgan before he registered that wasn’t the name he’d heard. Newt caught hold of one of his hands and stopped him.
“You won!” Newt was smiling at him.
River stood up, bent down and kissed Newt full on the lips. He wasn’t actually sure he could walk to the stage without his knees giving way, but he somehow found himself up there, holding the gold-plated statuette.Fuck! How did I manage that?
Don’t say fuck.River looked out into a sea of faces, and found Newt in that sea, his beautiful eyes wide and bright.
He took a deep breath. “Wow. I won.”
Everyone laughed. Maybe because River was genuinely stunned, or maybe because the audience was too.
“Thank you. Truly. I won’t stand here and read a long list of those I need to thank, but please know that everyone involved with the film, everyone who’s helped me get here, those who believed in me when I didn’t, then you’re all part of this moment. This belongs to you too. Even you, Max, my pain-in-the-neck agent, friend and father when I needed one.”
He steadied himself. “After I was injured filmingCloudFall, my life stopped. Not slowed. Stopped. Broken arms. Broken legs. Broken ribs. A broken skull. A traumatic brain injury.” He swallowed hard. “I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t understand what anyone was saying.”
The room was absolutely silent and still.
“Some things came back. My mind. My body. But my voice didn’t. And if it hadn’t been for Newt…”
River’s breath hitched. He took a moment to make sure his voice wouldn’t break when he next spoke. Then he looked straight at Newt who sat biting his lip. River didn’t look away.
“If it hadn’t been for Newt… He sat with me when I couldn’t say a thing other than two words I shouldn’t say beginning with f and o…” That raised a laugh. “And somehow, he made me feel understood. He taught me how to speak. He taught me how to read and write. He taught me to be grateful for what I had. But more than that, he made me see the value in life when I wasn’t sure it had any value for me.”
River released a shaky breath. “Recovery was a long road. A brutal one. One that even included someone trying to kill me. Newt saved my life. More than once.
“In a way, Newt and I became a pair of real-lifeMedway Boys.We both had darkness in our pasts. Newt’s was public. Mine was not. But it didn’t remain private for long. We both lost our families but I was lucky. I had Max. Then Max found Newt for me. And somewhere, along the way together,friendship turned into love.”
Oh God.“I used to think love was something you came to after everything else worked out. I was wrong. Love is what carries youthrough. Love hurts. Love heals. Love gives you a reason to keep breathing when you’re not sure you can. Without my love for Newt, and Newt’s love for me, I wouldn’t be here. Thank you for this honour. I’m very grateful. But what I’m most grateful for is that I’m still around. That I can speak. That I can say this out loud.”
His voice broke.
“Thank you for giving me my voice back. For reminding me that I’m still here. That I matter. And that life, even in all its brokenness, can still be incredibly beautiful. Thank you for this.”
