I know Lyall’s hoping that this journey into the past will help me remember, but what if it doesn’t? He’ll just be disappointed. He’ll leave, the same as everyone else. These feelings I have for him… they can’t lead anywhere good.
What if he just disappoints me like all the others have? I need to remember that’s a possibility.
Lyall swallows the last bite of food. “Ready?” he asks.
There are crumbs in his beard. My fingers twitch, but I ball my hand into a fist so I don’t brush them away. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”
He grins like I’ve made his day. “Then let’s go. You take the lead. You know the city better than I do.”
My heart’s in my throat as I lead the way to Chelsea Piers. It’s not far, and Lyall makes the walk pass even more quickly with all his chatter. “Wait until you see the ocean! You used to love going for swims with me. We’d race each other out as far as we could go.”
Racing? Ugh, no thanks. I get enough exercise climbing the five flights up to my apartment. Still, I smile asLyall’s face lights up while describing our antics. I like the version of Soren he talks about. He’s adventurous, daring, and passionate.
Nothing like the man I am now. My life is simple. I wake up, eat a quick breakfast, go to work, come home and experiment with new drink recipes, then go to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. A guy like Lyall must live an adventurous life. Which is fine. I’m not dating him. He’s just helping me remember my past. That’s all this is.
Once we’re at the piers, I rent a kayak and we settle into it. The day is crisp and cold. There’s a thin layer of broken ice that floats over the river’s surface. Gray clouds let in pale sunlight. In seconds, the cold air has numbed my cheeks. “What now?” I ask, teeth chattering.
Lyall reaches into his bag and withdraws what looks like a tree branch covered in odd symbols. “It’s a branch of Yggdrasil,” he explains, “the world tree that connects all the realms of this world. Using it, we can travel wherever we wish.” Before my eyes, the symbols begin to glow pale blue.
The branch shakes in Lyall’s hand the farther out into the water we get. The wind picks up, rocking the kayak. I grab onto the sides, terrified it will tip us into the icy water. There’s a flash that briefly obscures my vision, and my mouth falls open as a tear appears ahead of us. A portal. It’s a fucking portal!
I close my eyes tight, heart racing.
Shit, shit, shit. This is happening. This is real. I’m going back in time.
There’s no time to regret this choice.
The tip of the kayak passes into the portal, swallowing Lyall, coming for me.
My stomach lurches like I’ve missed a step going downstairs, like I’m falling and there’s nothing to catch me, only an endless abyss.
I slam back into my body with a gasp as the world spins around me, tipping—
“Soren!”
Frigid water crashes over my head. My limbs stiffen, my lungs seizing. I’ve never known such cold in my whole life. I can’t think around it, can’t fuckingbreathe.
A hand clasps mine, pulling me toward the surface. I collide with Lyall’s firm body, and he holds me tight as the surface gets closer. I suck in air, gasping and shaking.
“I’ve got you, Soren. I’m here.” Lyall hooks his arms beneath mine and kicks toward the shore. My ankles drag over stones, and then there’s solid land beneath my body. My muscles have locked up. I can’t move, just shudder and gasp for air. I’m as vulnerable as a baby, and it’s fucking terrifying. “Don’t be afraid. I’m going to look after you.”
I’m hoisted into strong arms, held to a powerful chest. Lyall runs, jostling me from side to side. “Let me think… there was a cave around here. Gods, I must remember! Where was it… There!”
The howling wind around us becomes muffled as Lyall squeezes us through a narrow opening and into a dark, quiet space. I huddle into him, desperate for any warmth I can get even though he’s as soaked as I am. He lays me down on the hard ground. “I need to get you out of these wet cloths. Will you let me?”
Yes, I want to scream, but my teeth are chattering too hard. I nod, and Lyall gets to work. My limbs are stiff, and it takes several minutes of pulling on Lyall’s part, but finally my wet clothes are thrown off. My eyes grow heavy.
“Easy, Soren. You’ll feel better soon.”
Lyall throws on his furs, and the white pelt crawls over his body. In seconds, a white wolf stands before me, his fur dry. The wolf—Lyall—lies down atop me like a bigblanket. His fur itches my bare skin at first, but the warmth radiating from him nearly makes me cry in relief. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close. There’s a slight breeze as his tail whips back and forth, a happy little squeak escaping him.
Lyall rests his big head on my chest, sighing in a way I could almost call content. I close my eyes and lose myself in his warmth. The numbness fades slowly from my fingers as I run them through his thick, coarse fur. A huff of laughter escapes me. I have a huge wolf lying on top of me, but what I feel isn’t fear. Far from it.
No.
I’ve never felt safer.
“Thanks, Lyall.”
