I shake my head. "It doesn't really matter."
"Saige…" He places a hand on my cheek, using it to guide my eyes to his before wiping the tears from under my eyes. "What did he say to you?"
"A lot. He's right, though. I'm just not thinking clearly."
"He doesn't know shit. The last time he thought you might have been interested in someone, he paid someone else to sleep with them. He has a sick obsession with you, Saige. Youcannottake anything he says seriously."
I scoff, shaking my head. "That's funny—he actually said the same thing about you. How many people have you promised to take to Paris?"
"…Not very many."
"How many people have you convinced to get your art tattooed on them before you ghosted them?"
"Fuck…I don't know. A few?"
"A few?"
"Maybe…ten."
"That's a fucking lot, Dax!"
"It's not like I told them they had to—they wanted to."
"But you get off on it in some way, right? Manipulating people?"
His mouth gapes, the wheels turning in his head as he tries to figure out how to spin the answer. I decide not to give him the opportunity and head for the door.
"Wait!" Dax jumps out of bed and quickly moves between me and the door.
"Do you force everyone to suck you off like you did me?"
"Saige…no. That was Elias's idea; I've never done anything like that before, and Ididn'tforce you."
"You did, though. You and Elias both did, and then you just…" I choke on a sob. "You fucked with my head."
I try to walk around him and get the fuck out of the room, but he wraps his arms around me, holding me against his chest with my arms locked at my side, immobilizing me.
"Look at me," he says. "You…are different."
"No, I'm not, Dax."
"How do I fix it?"
I shake my head. "It's too fucked. I'm not even really mad at you, you know? I'm just not thinking straight. I can't do it anymore, though. It feels too real for me, and I'm too vulnerable right now."
"It is real, Saige…"
"It feels like you love me." I let myself say that awful fucking word, not just because it's true, but because I know something like that will terrify someone like him, and I want to scare him off. "I can't trust myself with you because I can't tell the difference anymore."
"It doesn't matter how we got here."
"Yes, it does. I—"
"No. It doesn't. You still like me. I like you, too. There are very real feelings involved, and itdoes notmatter why."
"It's unhealthy. It'll only get worse the longer it goes on, and I'm going to get hurt. I'm just a toy to you."
"You're myfavoritetoy, Saige. That's not an insult. You like that, too."
