She laughs. "We're pretty messed up, huh? But…you helped me drag a body through the woods when it was too heavy and no one else would, so…yeah, I like you, too."
I brush her hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear. "That's modern-day chivalry, sweetheart. Do you want to go to bed? You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on top of the blankets, like we did the other night."
"Yeah, okay."
I kiss her again quickly, and then take her hand and pull her up from the couch.
All I can think as we climb the staircase together is that I'm so fucking glad this girl broke into my house and pushed that guy off the damn balcony.
19
trauma bonding is bad, by the way
Saige
Not the fucking alarm again.
I'm alone in Nolan's bed, which isn't a surprise. He's always the first one up, and lingering in bed isn't his style; it doesn't mesh with his morning routine.
After dragging my reluctant body from bed, I head downstairs with Arcadia on my heels.
"Morning," Nolan says when I step into the living room. "I already let her out, but she ran back upstairs to be with you."
Of course, she did. That's why she'smydog. I lean over and pat her head.
"I made breakfast, too," he adds.
Two coffees and two plates with pancakes and strawberries sit on the table. Only two.
"What about Dax and Elias?" I ask.
Nolan shrugs. "They didn't come home last night."
My heart drops into my stomach. "Oh…"
Thisfeeling. I hate having fucking feelings; I avoid them like the plague. But I especially hate this feeling. It's so fucking familiar and unwelcome I could scream.
Instead, I fix my face, swallow the lump in my throat, and force out the words, "Well, good. I'm glad it'll be just us. That's how I like it."
He smiles, but I can tell he doesn't believe me. I want to ask him if it bothers him, too, and if it doesn't, maybe ask for tips on how to fix it, but I don't. He kisses the top of my head and sits beside me.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I take a bite of the pancakes, hoping it'll help mask that sinking feeling in my gut. I've never been a person whose face hid their feelings well.
And now, I'm having difficulty swallowing. Great.
I take a drink of coffee to help force it down.
"Do you want to go do something tonight?" Nolan asks. "I texted Dax, too, but he must not be up yet. But we could go out—maybe to a bar or even a movie, if you want."
"…You really think Dax would want to do something like that?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't he?"
I don't think Dax likes me outside of the bunker. He doesn't like me like Nolan does. For him, it is transactional. I'm his favorite broken toy…until he gets tired of playing with me.
I'm going to sound like a fucking crybaby if I say that aloud. Fuck, I think I mightactuallycry, and it's terrifying.
