Byron had never truly appreciated Derek’s ability to take awkward, complicated things and turn them into blokey little asides. “Yeah. But I dunno if I can…”
“Treat the mother of your kid like that?”
He nodded gratefully.
“But you’re still into her?”
Byron shot him a hard look, and Derek held up his hands once again. “Don’t get at me. I’ve heard too much shit from other blokes not to ask.”
“More like, you know too many cunts.”
“Probably.”
“Definitely. Beth’s still… she’s really…”
“Oh, she’s gold,” Derek said casually. “Solid gold.”
Byron resumed staring at the table. When she had been in a bad way, nothing had fucked with his head more than the total collapse of Beth’s self-confidence. He’d always had no idea why she couldn’t see herself the way he did. How her brown eyes shone, her skin was peachy, and her smile was second to none. How she looked more like Bella Thorne than Bella Thorne these days because her hair was still red, and she didn’t have crazy metallic nails. How when Beth shone her light on someone, they always seemed to fall a little bit in love with her.
He wasn’t like that. People wanted to look at him, and that was it. One day, they wouldn’t even want to do that anymore. Beth was so scared he’d hook up with someone else when he couldn’t sleep some nights from stressing she’d meet another guy. Someone more open. Who could guess what she needed and give it to her at the right time, instead of letting things fall apart the way he had.
“Bloke?” Derek asked. “You MIA?”
Byron closed his eyes. “I guess.”
“Tired?”
“In every fucking way.”
“You—”
“I’m fine,” Byron pre-empted. “Not depressed. Just wrecked.”
“About work?”
“Work and the move and getting Si on a regular sleep schedule and now Beth… I know she wants us to get back to where we used to be, but I don’t wanna push her.”
“Push her?”
“You know she had a hard time after Si. I feel like I dropped the ball. I don’t wanna fuck it up again.”
“I get that.”
Byron felt another surge of gratitude. He didn’t know if he could handle describing Beth, zombified and barely able to look him in the face, as he tried to keep ten different plates spinning and still give her comfort.
“It doesn’t seem like you need to worry,” Derek said. “She’s handling that side of things. All you need to do tonight is show up and play the game.”
“You don’t know what she wants to get up to,” Byron muttered. He considered saying the hot nanny thing, then shook his head. Derek would laugh himself sideways, and he already had enough problems.
“So, we’re back where we started,” Derek announced. “You’re stuck in fourth gear about run-of-the-mill couple shit.”
Byron remembered the look on Beth’s face when he’d told her she’d make a sexy nanny. “It’s not run of the mill.”
“Bloke,” Derek said. “Look at me.”
Frowning, Byron glanced up to see Derek’s face barely five inches from his own. He sucked his teeth in mock disgust. “You tryna kiss me or something? Warm me up?”
“You fuckin’ wish.” Derek checked the coast was clear over both shoulders, then spoke in a low voice. “Since I can see Psycho and Will are still at the bar, I’m gonna bring down the cone of silence and tell you, me and Mara do sicker shit on a Tuesday than you could ever dream of. So whatever judgement you think’s coming, it’s not gonna come from me.”
