Paige starts laughing as she slowly gets to her feet, then she reaches out a hand and pulls me up. She grabs my wrist and starts to walk forward. “Don’t worry.” She glances back at me. “I won’t let you fall.” Her voice goes low on the last sentence, mimicking me with her eyes full of laughter.
Just then, both of her feet slip forward, knocking her back into my chest. I put both my arms around her middle to stabilize us, but our feet start sliding in different directions. We grasp ateach other’s arms to stay upright, readjusting to new positions every time our feet slip awkwardly around the ice. Just when I think we’re in the clear, Paige’s foot slips behind mine, and we go spiraling to the ground yet again. I wrap my arms around Paige’s head and back and pull her in front of me, just before landing in the same position we were moments ago. The air in my lungs gets knocked out on impact.
“Are you guys okay?” a woman’s voice asks.
When I finally find my breath, I tilt my chin and find a mother and her kids looking down at us with worried expressions.
Something vibrates against my chest, and fear floods me as I imagine Paige hurt and crying. Her body is draped haphazardly against mine, and I gently brush the hair from her face. That’s when she looks up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. She’slaughing, laughing so hard I can feel her whole body shaking in her cocoon of a jacket.
I roll my eyes and push up onto my elbow to address the small family. “We may need a chiropractor tomorrow, but otherwise, I think we’re good.”
The mom hesitantly returns my smile before she urges her children forward and down the lighted walkway.
Paige rolls off me, still laughing, and I can’t help but smile as I get onto my hands and knees. I can see the edge of the ice several feet away. I’ve already lost my dignity, so I have no qualms about crawling like a baby to safe ground.
“Wait.” Paige reaches out for me.
I scurry forward on my hands and knees until I’m beyond her reach, laughing. “No way, I think we’ve proven we’re no help to each other.”
She clutches the bottom of my coat. “Jordan Samuel Miller, get back here.”
As we crawl off the ice together, we’re both laughing so hard that people start gathering around to watch.
When we finally get to our feet, Paige’s face is beet-red, and tears of laughter continue to streak her face. She dabs at them with her coat. “I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.”
We face one another, holding onto each other’s coats like we still need the stability. Eventually, the hilarity fades, and I’m left with her beautiful green gaze.
“I’ve missed you,” I say.
I’m not sure what reaction I expected, but Paige’s expression immediately sobers as she drops her arms and steps back.
“Jordan.” My name is nothing but a whisper from her lips.
My eyebrows draw together in confusion at the sudden shift in her features.What did I do?
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I never called you when your mom…” She chokes on her words, and her eyes go glossy but not from laughing this time. “I should have been there for you, Jordan.”
She begins crying, hard and fast, and I pull her into me, letting her get it all out. “Hey, hey, Paige. You did nothing wrong.”
Her sobs deepen, and I rest my hand behind her head, cradling her against my chest.
“You called me every Tuesday for months, Jordan. And I never answered. I told myself I couldn’t. I thought I just needed time. But you… and your mom’s cancer diagnosis…”
My heart hurts knowing that Paige has carried this guilt with her for years when I’m the one who pushed her away.
The last time we spoke, she told me she loved me, and I left her without a word, not brave enough to tell her how I felt. I wasn’t brave enough to tell her that I loved her back. I wasn’t brave enough to tell her that I wasn’t going to go to California with her and that two days before graduation, I’d learned of my mom’s cancer diagnosis.
I wasn’t brave enough to tell her that I was terrified of changing our relationship when she was the only thing grounding me.
I wasn’t brave enough. And it cost me Paige.
I run a hand down her hair as her tears drip onto my coat. I’m not sure why Paige came back to Colorado, but I can’t help but feel that I’ve been given a second chance with her. And this time, Iwillbe brave enough.
When Paige’s breathing slows, I draw back and lower my head until my eyes meet hers. I place my palms on either side of her face, wiping her tears with my thumbs. “It’s okay, Paige. I’m okay. My mom’s okay. Now, can we please start over? Because I’ve really missed my best friend.”
She glances up at me through tear-soaked lashes and smiles. “Yes, please.”
“Good.” I pull her in for one more hug.
