A tear streaks down my cheek as I turn the corner, knowing that this is probably the last time Johnny Davis and I are going to be friends. I can’t go back to that, so strangers will have to do.
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.
seventeen
DAVIS
“You’re distracted,” Coach says gruffly, closing the door to his office.
I nod my head, “I know, coach.”
He takes a seat in the chair behind the desk, narrowing his eyes as he does so. “Well, figure it out with that girl of yours so you can focus. We have important games coming up, and I need my best players in the best shape.”
My jaw drops. How the-
“You all seem to forget that I’ve been doing this longer than most of you have been able to skate.” He reaches for the coffee mug on his desk, taking a long sip before continuing, “I know when one of you is all messed up in the head over a girl. You’re not nearly as good at hiding it as you think.”
“With all due respect, sir, I doubt you’ve had a situation like this before.”
He raises a brow, “Chris Taylor said the same thingsome odd years ago, he was just as wrong then as you are now.”
Settling into my chair, I prepare for one of his long stories and a whole shit load of wisdom I know he’s about to dump on me.
“You hockey boys are all the same, thinking you’re above everyone else and that no one could possibly understand what you’re going through… well, surprise!” He places the mug back on his desk before clasping his hands and leaning in towards me, “I do.”
“Sir, I-“
“Johnny Davis, I have known you for almost four years now, and I know more than you might think. I’ve seen you at your highs and lows, and have spoken to your mother on countless occasions.”
My blood runs cold.
“I know all about what happened a couple of years ago, as well as your battle with depression up until you came to Livler. I never brought it up because I got the sense you didn’t want anyone to, but I’m more observant than you may think. I see your performance on the ice shift when you’re having a bad week, you become more aggressive, you taunt the other players more, so you have an excuse to hit something.”
Tony takes a deep breath, “I care about you, son, so listen up and listen good. You are not the first young man to be plagued by a first love, and freak outbecauseof said first love. Chris sat exactly where you are now with a scared look in his eyes when he realized he was in love with Tash. He fought his feelings for months, treated the poor girl like shit because he was too afraid to admit that he could balance hockey and a girl, and until he sorted through that and got his head on straight, his performance suffered.”
Being compared to Chris is both the best and worst thing to have ever happened to me, mostly bad because I know that Tony’s saying my performance on the ice is taking a downward spiral.
And with all the scouts coming out, trying to find their next star, now is not the time to be losing my head over a girl.
“You know what’s at stake, so either get your head screwed on straight and ask the damn girl out, or lose her and focus back in on what you’ve worked so hard for.” The tiniest of smiles curves his lips, “Claire told me she’s good for you, so I’m rooting for the former.”
“I don’t even know where to start sir,” I sigh. “I’m all messed up in the head over her.”
“You grow a pair of balls and tell her how you feel, Davis. It really isn’t that hard of a concept to grasp.”
Easier said than done. I’ve been playing this stupid game for months, and somehow I think I’m still losing.
Walking out of his office, I feel worse than when I went in. I thought we were having a talk about the team, but instead we had a talk about my love life.
Fucking Claire. Of course she told Tony.
I’m gonna strangle that girl when I get home.
But I kind of did need to hear it. This stupid wishy-washy bullshit I’m doing isn’t fair to either of us, she deserves to have someone who’s all in or all out.
I probably deserve the same, but I can’t bring myself to care about what’s good for me when her well-being is right in front of me.
Turning the corner towards the lobby, I let my thoughts roam, trying to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to bring up this topic of conversation when a small body smacks into me and falls to the ground.
