I want to scream until my throat is bloody, but I know it’s no use. No one can hear me over the loud music, there’s no one else up here, and none of my friends know where I am.
His hand reaches under my shirt, grabbing at my bra, trying to pull it down. His touch is like acid against my skin, itburns.
I flinch when he rips my shorts open, sending the button clattering to the floor. A sick and twisted smile comes across his face as he looks down at me, “you look so good. When I saw you I just couldn’t help myself.”
I can feel tears roll down my cheeks as I sob silently, turning my face away from him so I don’t have to watch what he’s about to do to me. His hands are everywhere, his eyes eat me up, and when he finally pulls the trigger and does what he intends to do… I lose it.
I hate the way my body burns, I hate how much this fucking hurts, and most of all Ihatethe way he’s enjoying this.
“Happy birthday Claire” he whispers. I can hear how wide he’s smiling as he says it, like he’s doing me a favour, like he’s giving me a birthday gift.
twenty-seven
LUCAS
“Anyone seen Claire?” I yell over the loud music.
Guilt gnaws at me, I don’t know why I lost it on her when she kissed me. She took me by surprise, I wasn’t expecting her to do that… but fuck was it fucking earth shattering.
I havenever, had someone completely wreck me like that. It was like everything else faded away and all that was left was her and I.
For a single second I let myself believe that we could work, that she and I could be something more than just roommates, more than just coach and player.
And then I remembered everything else.
I pictured Coach chasing me out of the rink with a fucking baseball bat and threatening me within an inch of my life, her brother ripping my balls off then nailing me to a fucking net then shooting pucks at me, and breaking her heart cause that’s all I know how to do.
She deserves better than me.
I know it, and eventually she will too.
I’m not her prince charming, even though I want to re-live that kiss over and over again until I’m dizzy and begging her to never leave me.
“She’s probably on her way home already” Steph slurs, hanging onto August for dear life, “she never likes to party on her birthday.” Her bottom lip juts out like she’s genuinely upset, but I can’t really tell because all I can focus on is the ringing in my ears.
“What did you just say?” Davis says flatly.
Claire.
Birthday.
Kiss.
Rejection.
My brain ceases function as the details crash into one another, every piece falls to the floor as my heart drops into my stomach.
I feel sick.
“She didn’t tell us it was her birthday?” Miller sounds heartbroken.
Steph furrows her brows and looks to the floor, “she doesn’t like her birthday. It’s sad for her, and I try to make it better but it never works. I guess she just thought it didn’t matter.”
“She always matters,” August states.
Correction, she’s theonlything that matters… and I let the fear of everything else stop me from doing what my heart really wants.
From the very first time she walked in our front door, she consumed me. Every thought, every action, everything I’ve done has been abouther. She is fucking everything, she’s air, she’s sunshine, moonlight, rain, flowers… all of it.
