CLAIRE
I’m looking into the mirror and I don’t recognize myself. I look like the person I tried to leave behind in Vancouver, the daughter my parents brought to fancy dinners,the perfect daughter.
Last night replays over and over again on a loop in my head. Sharing such a raw moment with Lucas, telling him way more than I should have, was overwhelming.
He knows what I went through —or at least a piece of it— and part of me thinks that maybe I can tell him about what I went through all those years. He won’t judge me, or make me feel little… he’ll get it.
Maybe that’s just the crush talking, hoping and praying that he’s the same guy I’ve built up in my head, but I do believe he’d know the right thing to say.
My hands tremble as I try to do up my necklace, I feel like I’m going to puke everywhere. I can’t believe my parents are in town, and I can’t believe that I’m about to go to this fucking fundraiser with them.
On the bright side, Chris will be there, he’ll act like a buffer. They never do anything to hurt me when he’s around.
Steph watches me struggling, she walks over to me and lightly touches my hand, “let me help.” I nod my head, handing her the silver jewelry and turning around. “It’s going to be okay, you know. They’re only here for one night and then they’re gone.” Her voice is soft like her touch, and I can only hope she’s right.
I take a final look in the mirror, biting back the bitter taste of bile as I try to keep myself composed. I try to fight back all the memories, all the fights after events, the criticism of my dresses and the hours I would spend trying to cover my bruises.
My eyes start watering, I fuckinghatethis.
“Just breathe, it’s only a couple of hours and you know you can call me if anything gets out of hand.”
“Thank you, but I don’t think that’s an option tonight.”
I thought I had finally escaped the grasp my parents had on me, but I guess I’m still just as trapped as before, still just as tangled in their web, still just as small as when I was fifteen.
I know if it were up to them, I wouldn’t be coming tonight. I was always ‘making a fool out of myself’. Their reputation is more important to them than anything else.
To be seen as the perfect family is their number one priority. The successful father who owns multiple businesses, the trophy wife who helps manage his companies and holds the family together, the perfect son who makes millions playing professional hockey, and the daughter who is humble and quiet –hiding in the shadows.
Humble and quiet my ass, I was told not to speak unless spoken to, and I learned to listen quickly.
The only thing I’m excited for is getting to hangout with Chris and Sam, plus maybe seeing a couple of my parents' friends. I dislike most of them, and I can tell with their fake smiles and false support, that they aren’t big fans of my parents either. They only stick around because connections areeverythingin this world.
I’m hoping that Craig is there tonight, he’s closer to my brother's age than my parents, but a good friend nonetheless. He was a resident when my parents first met him, just a boy working towards being the top surgeon in the country, but now he’s the chief at the Presbyterian in Dallas.
He’s always been kind to me, and always looked out for my family when we needed it most. Any medical scares? We called Craig. Any issues with a doctor? Craig called and pulled strings to get the problem fixed. The man has a big heart, and I know that if I were to ever need anything, he’d be happy to help.
“At least my mom can’t criticize the dress, she’s the one who picked it out. She had it flown in before I even knew this thing was happening” I mumble.
The dress is pretty, light blue satin covers my body, hanging loose around my legs and hugging tight around my waist. The cowl neck sits perfectly, just enough fabric to look pretty, not enough to look tacky.
I look like a princess.
I feel anything but.
The driver is already waiting for me by the time I walk outside. He opens the back door as I approach the limo and slide onto the seat next to Chris and Sam. I give Chris a big hug, and smile towards Sam, they both look great.
My father clears his throat and my attention is drawn towards him. He’s sitting next to my mother, wearing a dark grey suit that screams everything my father is about. Simple, and clean.
My mother, on the other hand, is wearing a skin tight, floor length, red dress. She’s decked out in her favourite diamonds, looking elegant as ever.
“Mom, Dad,” I great them.
“Hello Claire, I see you made the sensible decision and wore the dress I chose for you.” She looks to my father, almost as though she’s waiting for his approval.
“You look amazing, Angel,” Chris says.
My father rolls his eyes, “again with that silly nickname? She isn’t a child anymore, and neither are you. I expect you both to act like it.”
