“Not your first time…”
Damian nodded, tossing another log on that raging fire. “No… I tried… a couple of years ago… to quit… some expensive resort… I tried, got out, held a couple of months… until somebody offered a glass of something and insisted… I thought, it’s a glass… what could go wrong?” The flames danced on his smile. “What indeed…”
“You drank on the plane.”
“Nearly not enough.” He laughed mildly. “Sometimes, I add a pill to it. Helps with my fright of flights… Guess I was right to be scared shitless.”
Gabe kept quiet. There was nothing he could say, only that hope in him that somehow Damian could get through it without too much damage. “If you throw up, you need to drink more.”
“Yes, doctor.”
Gabriel fumed silently, but stayed quiet, watching the flames.An asshole and a junky… an alcoholic…Closing his eyes to his thoughts, those arguments he had had with Raph when he’d drunk before a flight.You should not. All pilots do.Laughing, toasting him with his glass. Fucking poison. Everywhere.
“We should go inside the shelter, it’s getting cold.”
“Alright.”
Stoking the fire up high so it would burn all night. Howls of animals around them in the dark woods. Gabriel crept inside, lying down on that palm leaf bedding. Damian lay next to him, keeping a distance, almost wedged close to the wall of their shelter, and Gabe smiled in the dark.Homophobic, alcoholic, junky asshole. Perfect. Closing his eyes on his thoughts. On how Damian’s trembling, and chattering teeth got on his nerves.Fuck.Turning his back to him, putting his palms on his ears.Silence, somewhat…Sleep.
Waking to a tired sun, the sky milky. Watching Damian crawl out, his pasty face and exhausted eyes.
“You slept?”
Those steel eyes went to him as he sat down near the fire. “No… not a bit…”
“Tsk.” Just that, but it made Damian’s eyes spark.
“Oh… I have enough shit without you judging me or telling me what I should be doing.”
“Fine!” Gabe got up. “I’m going to gather some food. Find something to do. Make sure the fire doesn’t go out.”
“Yes, boss.” His mouth twisted up and Gabe felt like punching him, but he clenched his fist and left fast.
Damian watched him leave, and he put more logs on the fire, his eyes roaming the jungle around their small hut. He got up, finding a thick stick, leaning onto it to limp around, find something maybe. Poking around in the rotting leaves, scraping some bark down with his bare hand. Some thick, white worms.Ugh…but he scooped them into a plastic cup he’d taken with him, hanging from his neck. Finding more worms, filling that cup, wondering if they could be eaten. A slight disgust in him, almost delirious with his hazy thoughts. Feeling sick again, so he turned back on his tracks, trailing that limp left leg leaving a clear mark back to the camp.
Gabriel was sitting near the fire, some snails put near it, close to the glowing embers. “Snails. Almost like French cuisine.” He made that joke, still, to the only other human being around.
Damian sat down with a smile and handed him the cup. “And worms. Not sure what cuisine those are.”
Gabe peered into the cup and pulled a small face. “Ugh… but let’s grill them. You never know.” He filed them up on sticks and handed one to Damian. “Bon appétit.”
Grilling those fat wriggling worms until they died on the sticks, carefully nipping that bloated soft flesh. The texture unbearable with a foul taste, but they ate them, still, that growing hunger overriding everything. The snails then, which tasted a bit better.
A mild worry in Gabe. “We need more.”
“Yeah…” Feeling like throwing up already, that shivering back full force. “I need to… lie down…”
“Sure…” His eyes followed that huddled form, listening to him moan, hard, soft cries.Fuck…Feeling like getting up to comfort him, but then he remembered what he thought of gays, and steeled himself.Asshole. Just suffer on your own. You deserve it. Every single pain and tremor in your disgusting body.Watching the flames, listening to that soft crying, his heart a block of hate.
Morning, the sky dark grey, a slight wind. Gabe watched the sky with worry.Rain. Maybe soon.He quickly made a hole in that bamboo roof, and a fireplace in the center of their small hut, with rocks and bamboo, and brought some fire inside.
“It will be tight… the space… but we can’t let the fire go out…”
Damian just shot him a tired look, but his strength was gone, his words dying in his mouth. He stayed on the floor of their hut, curled up, watching that growing fire, shivering. Drifting away sometimes, voices…Maddie? Maddie… I’m here… did you drink again? I’m sorry, sorry…. Sobbing, trying to find her… Maddie… I should have never married you… I knew it… just like your father… a drunk… Don’t touch me! Howling… no… no… sorry… sorry… Maddie…Opening his eyes to somebody shaking his shoulders.
“Wake up! Jesus… just wake up!” Opening his eyes, blinking out that pouring sweat, meeting those hazel eyes filled with wrath. “Jesus fuck! Just wake up! You’re driving me crazy!”
“What… what happened?” He looked around, looking for her.
