“You kept calling somebody called Maddie… and apologizing…” A slight disgust on that face, and Damian closed his eyes.
“Yeah… sorry… my wife…”
“Well, fuck! And I don’t want to know, ok? It is enough… what I heard.”
A wave of shame washed through Damian, a lost feeling, and maybe he was finally ashamed of all he had done, but he kept quiet, not even wanting to share. His thoughts on her.On how relieved she must be… the kids too… that monster gone from their life, finally…A rogue tear pearled down his cheek, and he wiped it off, sitting, wiping those tears which seemed never to stop.Fuck this. He sat, listening to the pouring rain hammer at the palm leaves, some rogue drops spilling in, but that small fire burned heartily.
Gabe stoked it up. “It’s been pouring steadily, so I put whatever containers we have out there. Whilst you were dreaming, or whatever the fuck.”
Damian stayed quiet, holding his tears in when he only wanted to howl, a mad despair in him. Craving a drink so badly, that burning taste almost in his mouth, it was insane. But he knew the drill. Except that there was no medication here, and no nurses. No days sleeping in bed, knocked out. Just the knowledge that there would be no drinks here. Something so terrifying it made his eyes go wide with panic. Breathing steady and deep to keep calm, her voice still ringing in his head. Their cries. Closing his eyes, floating on that soothing rain. Feeling that human presence, that veiled resentment.
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Because I don’t. Fuck your life up. Fuck others’ lives up? All for what.”
“This is not something you can control.”
“Fuck that.” Damian looked at him, at his face laced with wrath, his hazel eyes burning. “Fuck your lies to yourself! You are pathetic. Don’t look for excuses. The only person who can control this is you. The man in the fucking mirror.”
“Thanks…”
“Do not expect pity from me. You won’t get any. Anybody who sinks this low had it fucking coming.”
Damian stayed quiet, brewing his anger at his words.Cruel little fucker…Musing if he should just whack his face in, beat him until he died… the thought making him blanch, so he crawled outside, ambling away under the pouring rain, hugging himself, letting that rain wash his tears out, oblivious to Gabriel’s calls.
Walking to the beach, his knees sinking in the sand, letting that lashing wind and waves wash out the pain, the remorse, whatever he felt at that moment in his crazed mind.All for what…his words ringing in his head, those hard hazel eyes floating in his mind.All for what…A wasted life… pain and fear…
Chapter 3
Hehadnoideahow long he’d stayed on that howling beach on that wild shore, soaked to the bone, that mad shivering just taking control of his body. Watching the frothing waves. I should just walk in and get sucked away…The thought so tempting, but also that terror of dying, somehow, stronger than his resentment of walking back and facing Gabriel… Cradling his splinted arm.I would have died without him…The thought not even comforting, but he walked back, ambling, losing his balance sometimes on the uneven terrain with the rain streaming into his eyes. The hut, that gentle smoke drifting out of the roof. He had to stop, almost fearful of going inside, that small hate towards that young man who had dared hold a mirror up.Accuse me when it’s not my fault…He pinched his lips and crawled in, still, too cold, too soaked, avoiding Gabriel’s eyes as he sat cross-legged near the fire.
“You’re soaked. Strip, and dry your clothes.”
“You don’t give orders here.”
“You’ll be even more sick, and I’ll have to nurse you, so yes, strip, and don’t argue.”
Damian raised his eyes at that hard face, but his chest flamed up, so he peeled his shirt off, his trousers and socks, only leaving his boxers on. He lay on his back with a small smile, closing his eyes. “Happy?”
Gabe just shrugged, but his eyes roamed that body, large dark bruises blotching that smooth pale skin, except where it had already been scorched by the sun on his face, neck, and arms. The muscles there, as much as some sort of fake sporty gym life had allowed it, he guessed, but already under a layer of gentle fat.Shaved clean… but that will soon end.His lips curled up, bitter. Because he just wished that Damian would be nicer, and just a bit gay. Sighing against his thoughts, watching the rain pour down. At least they would have water to still those grumbling stomachs somewhat. A week without food, at most, before any of them would be unable to crawl out of this hut. He was determined to go hunting as soon as the rain stopped, his eyes drifting back to Damian who had fallen asleep, his right hand on his chest, that soft snoring above the crackling of the flames. Void of his temper, his face seemed at peace, almost handsome, without that bitter, always angry scowl wedged between his eyebrows.So much hate? At what? To whom?Gabriel tossed another branch on the fire, the rain dwindling. Finally, his thoughts on Raph, how he missed him, his heart torn, trying not to think of being stuck here forever. Rescue missions must be patrolling that ocean, near where they had crashed.But where was that?
The rain had stopped, and Damian was still asleep, so Gabe crawled out and gathered some ropes and a crude bag he’d made of fishing nets, taking his piece of metal, and he set off into the jungle, determined to find food. The heat rising, lifting that water off drenched leaves and soaked ground, it felt like being in a steam bath, so he drank, but sparsely, wiping the sweat out of his eyes. Nothing. Just the leaves stirring, invisible animals pushing them around.Come on…a slithering noise, so he stopped, listening, rooted to the ground as a huge snake emerged from somewhere, a huge yellow snake.Snakes are good, right? They ate those magical snakes and talked, the folks in fairy tales…Almost laughing, but it was an animal with flesh.Oh, well…Not knowing what to do, he crept closer to that snake, watching its swaying body make its way fast in the leaves.What to do? Fuck… a creeping panic that it would go so he leapt after him, hacking at the head with that piece of metal, dead scared as it hit the skull, a crunching sickening sound, and Gabe dropped the knife, his knees on the ground, swallowing back his nausea. Daring to look up, thinking he had fucked it up, but the snake was there, writhing gently as blood seeped from that wound on his head.Cut it off… Oh God…He took the metal with trembling hands, putting one on the snake’s warm neck, pushing hard as he sawed at the gleaming scales with his blunt blade. Retching when it parted, bloody, but he kept on, almost closing his eyes, feeling it saw its way through. Finally, the head off. He cried then, feeling so sorry for that beautiful snake., wiping his tears as that long body curled on itself, but it was over, so he got up, and took that curling headless body in his hand. It snaked around his arm, surprisingly strong and heavy, but it didn’t matter, he carried it back, fast, stumbling away from that murder scene.I have never killed anything… Oh my God, I killed that animal…Silent tears, a bit in a second state as the blood rushed inside his body, warm, satisfying. Above that vague disgust at himself, a pride he hadn’t known. The pride of that kill. That they had food.
The hut, finally. He tossed the snake on the ground, crawling into the hut to find Damian up, sitting, feeding the fire. His steel-blue eyes went to him, so tired and drained, Gabe thought he would give up soon.
He flashed him a smile, still. “I caught a snake!”
Damian’s eyes widened. “Caught?”
“I killed it… yeah.”
“Oh, wow… good news!”
Gabe narrowed his eyes, but there was no sarcasm there, so he blew a small breath. “I guess we can eat it.”
“Yep. They are pretty tasty, usually.”
“You ate snake?”
