Gabe had emptied the net, night falling softly, so he hurried back, the path already lined with shadows. Animals howling in the setting light.Fuck…He made it back before the sun setting, stoking up the fire to cook some roots and grill some fish. A meagre hunt. But at least they had enough of those roots not to starve. His eyes darted to the growing shadows, huddling closer to the fire. Something cracked then between the trees, branches. Something rubbing against a tree, maybe.
“Damian?” His words got lost in the dark, so he swallowed, waiting. “Damian?” Nothing. His voice so weak, it scared him, so he shut up.
He’s alone, that stupid fuck. Scared too, I bet.He grazed a bite on his neck, that dull pain a tiny reminder of what they had.And what do we have?Tossing another log on the fire, watching the sparks fly into the darkness above. More noises, and his stomach clenched. Ok, eat fast. It’s animals… just animals.That primal fear eating his insides, so he shoved the food down, hurrying up to their hut, that empty bed not tempting at all, but he lay down, huddling under that thin blanket. His eyes on the entrance, on the dark, his breathing almost too loud. A long howl, screeching. Almost like a laughter.Impossible.Something bumped against the roof, and he almost lost it, griping the blanket. That mad urge to get up and run.No. Stay put. Stay put. It’s nothing. But all those sounds he couldn’t hear curled up against Damian were magnified by his absence. His teeth chattered softly, his eyes wide, welled with tears. In that moment of raw fear, it hit, that this was what it would be without that other human. This lonely, on the brink of losing his mind, probably already dying.Not just any man…His heart hammering at that too well-known feeling coursing his body. Taking his breath.Impossible…but it was there, lurking, lingering, a mad thought.
Damian lay curled up near a dwindling fire, the night filled with sounds which terrified the shit out of him.Stupid… I shouldn’t have left…Trying not to look around. Bushes and trees moving around him in that ink dark.This is how it would be… without Gabe…His mind reeled at the name, something he’d never felt before, not with this intensity, grabbing his throat, and squeezing his lungs. He closed his eyes, remorse washing over him. I shouldn’t have left him alone…Running from something which sat in his chest, burning. Knowing what it was, but not daring to put a name on it. Thoughts drifting to his kids in the dark, behind closed eyelids, trying to conjure their faces, but they blurred, floating a bit away. Always anger there. Fear.Same for Maddie… Shit…Torn out of that life, there was no way to make anything right.They wouldn’t even let me.Mad a bit that it got to him, somehow, so he hugged himself tighter, shivering, his eyes on those glowing embers.I should just die. No big loss there.Something he’d been close to, many times, standing close to the void on a balcony, a terrace, a glass in his hand, his shirt open, watching the distant lights, like tiny stars down below. How easy it would have been. Step up. Step once. Downing that glass instead, walking back to the warmth, to some nameless woman sleeping in the sheets.Plenty of ways to die here…But something pushed out those thoughts, overriding everything.Stay for Gabe. I can’t leave him alone.Mad a bit, laughing in the dark. Thinking of how this was all he had dreamt of, being with a guy, and now that it was here, it seemed so right, that moment just blending into him when he wanted to savor every piece of it.A lifetime with Gabe… lost in the world.He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to find sleep amongst the ghosts of his memories of that wrecked life he had left behind.
His eyes roaming the loose balloons on the ceiling, some rolling on the floor, as he put this luggage down in a pile of confetti. Maria shot him a look before she continued sweeping that desolation. A huge half-eaten cake on the table sitting in the ruins of a party, puddles of soda on that marble floor. Fuck. A growing anger in that fatigue. Facing Maddie when she appeared in her prim dark blue dress, her pearls, and heels.
“You missed it… the party.”
He tore at his tie. “Don’t start. I told you I won’t arrive back on time. You gave him his present?”
“Yes.” Her lips trembling, on the verge of tears.
“And?” He walked to the bar, pouring a large glass of whiskey, downing it. That warm burn, soothing. Another one, just sipping it as he turned back to her.
“He liked it, of course… but…”
“But what? That’s what he wanted, right?”
“He missed you.”
Damian smirked, downing his glass. Reaching for the bottle. “Make me feel like shit. That’s what I need after a long trip.”
She stepped close, putting her hand on his hand. “Don’t drink more…”
He snapped his hand away and poured another glass. “Don’t fucking lecture me. I had a shit day. And you’re not making it any better.”
“Let’s just go to bed.”
“Go then. I have work to do.”
“You just got back.”
He faced her, his smile dark. “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” Toasting her, he made his way to his office, throwing his tie to the floor.
Chapter 11
Morninglight,dreamsfloatingaway. Damian wiped at his tears, slowly looking around. The bugs had basically eaten his skin off, but he sat up, drained, sipping at his bottle. A soft snort. Freezing, he listened, trying not to breathe too hard.Pig. Close. He got up and reached for the spear, sneaking as silently as he could. A small pig, like the one they’d hunted, foraging in the leaves. He licked his lips, wishing he had a gun, and not that spear, but he crept close, the pig busy finding food. Poised to jump, his aching muscles taut, trying to chase away the feeling that he had no real idea of what he was doing. He jumped and tried to stab that pig, but the spear didn’t pierce that firm flesh, so he jumped on the animal before it could dart off. It fought, vicious, kicking him hard in the belly, the thighs, but Damian’s hand had found the knife, somehow, above that abysmal pain. Stabbing that wriggling flesh wherever he could, mad, a raw anger. He only stopped when the animal had stopped moving, a bit wide-eyed at that bleeding, lacerated body. His own skin filled with blood. Aching where the pig had kicked him.Fuck… But it was there, that dead animal, with the promise of a good meal.Now, to find home…he hauled the beast up his back, not caring about the blood trickling down his legs. Setting off towards where he came from, the path he’d carved visible a bit. Thrilled, his heart flying.
Gabe crouched near the fire and baked some roots, his eyes darting to the jungle. A mad night, almost sleepless, almost endless, wishing for that morning light.Just come home… His mind tricking him as Damian had taken what he had, and there was nothing there to testify of his existence, and in a small moment of that utter loneliness, bathing in the aftershock of that crash, Gabe thought he was alone. Damian an illusion he had conjured up.Madness. I’m going mad. He will come back.
Waiting all day, he didn’t even go to the nets, huddled near the fire. Jolting at the noise in the bushes, he leapt to his feet, his eyes wide. Reaching for the spear near their hut when a human form emerged from the bushes, a dirty, bloodied body, his steel eyes in all that blood and sweat on his gaunt face.Damian.Rushing to him, almost knocking his body to the ground, lacing his arms around him, hard.
Damian almost lost his balance. “Hey… hey…” Holding Gabe with one arm as he burst out crying. Sobbing in his neck. He grew a bit alarmed and let his spear go, lacing that other arm around Gabe. Rocking him, inhaling his scent. “Hey… It’s ok…” Pushing him away a bit, searching those hazel eyes drowned in fear. “I’m here…” Frowning at the look in Gabe’s eyes. “What’s up?”
Gabe tried to breathe. “I… I… I thought you… that you…” He exhaled, trying to calm. “I thought I was alone… that you didn’t exist. And I freaked out… I guess…”
Damian’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow… Well, do I exist after all?”
Gabe cupped his face, not caring about all that blood and grime, kissing him wide.
Damian panted in his mouth. “Let me… put this down…” Releasing that rope, and the pig fell to the ground. Gabe’s mouth back on him, his body pressed against him. “I’m so filthy…” But Gabe just kissed his words away, pulling him to the ground, pushing him on his back. Lying on top of him, he lay his head on Damian’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Just lying there, Damian’s hands on his back, tracing his spine with his fingers. Holding him tight then, breathing as one.
Gabe just lay there, listening to him breathe, feeling his muscles, his bones, his touch, his breath on his hair. Damian. Closing his eyes to his insane feelings in that vulnerable moment, but he raised his head and looked into those worried steel eyes. His voice a breath. “I missed you…”
“I missed you too… I was stupid to leave. But we have a pig to eat, so win-win.” He grinned, trying to lighten the mood, Gabe’s eyes scaring him to the bone.
