“Our skin will get used to it…” Gabe’s teeth chattered softly.
“Next time, we’ll leave the shirts on.”
Gabe tossed him a blanket. “Here. Courtesy of our airline. We aim to serve.”
They laughed and ripped the plastic off, rolling those thin blankets on their aching shoulders, but it felt divine, that scratchy blanket. They sucked that flesh out of the scorching shells, barely enough to wet their tongues, but it was food, some food at least in their clenched stomachs.
Gabe looked at him above the flames. “What would you be doing? Like, now, back home…”
Damian looked at him. “What day is it?”
“I’m not sure… Tuesday or Wednesday? I lost count a bit…”
“Week day…” Slightly amused, that blanket warming his shoulders, he felt at ease, almost in a state of daze in that dark night. “I would have finished work, and then take your pick: a business party somewhere, at the bar with other boss guys, or maybe home already, drinking before dinner…”
“No fucking of the secretary after hours?”
Damian scoffed. “No… what a cliché!” He laughed a bit. “I didn’t… fuck her.” He sipped at that rusty water, almost rolling it in his mouth. Missing that fiery taste, but it was transposed, gone a bit. “I cheated on my wife, though. Many times. Those parties, sometimes on boats, or at some sort of mansion.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah… it doesn’t matter. You’re the only one here, and you can hate me all you want. Take a number and stand in line. A long one.” He laughed, but it was hollow, sipping that stale water out of a Hello Kitty cup, the cat almost gone, eaten by the waves on that faded pink plastic.
“People didn’t like you?”
“Who cares? Who cares about people… fuck them. Yeah… I wasn’t liked… you know why… Nothing mattered but money and carrying plans through. It seemed right… at least to me…” Frowning a bit, grappling for that man he’d lost with his tremors and that ever-present fog on his mind.
“And your wife? Did she love you?”
“I suppose…” His eyes got lost a bit, trying to conjure some memories up. “I mean… we met young, same high school, same social background, rich parents, prom date… the rest is history. Married young, a picture perfect life with the kids.” He laughed, dark. “Yeah… fucking perfect… Cassie is fourteen, and Kevin ten… Last time I saw my daughter, I slapped her on the face… she wanted to go to a party, or something, with older boys, and I was not ok with it…” Swallowing at the memory, her eyes burnt in his mind… His eyes… Steeling his voice. Admitting that abysmal shame. “I was a shit dad. A real one. A shit husband too.”
“You beat her up? Your wife…” His breath a bit short.
Damian shot him a dark look. “Is this what you think of me?”
Gabe shrugged. “You’re violent.”
“I haven’t beaten her up… we fought… a lot… and she came at me, more than once. Maybe then… I might have pushed her…” The memories hazy… only those howls, her fists all over him. When she had lost it, pushed to the brink. He raised his eyes at Gabe. “Violent? Maybe… I’d never fought before… before we had that fight.”
“I’d never fought either…”
Damian smiled at him, a slight surprise in his eyes. “Really? You throw a mighty punch. You broke my ribs.”
“Bullshit!” But he had seen that dark bruise on his side, almost black. “Maybe… I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine… I deserved it, I guess.” Shaking his head a bit, pulling that blanket tighter.Why am I confessing to this guy?“And you? What’s up with you?”
“My partner broke up with me before my flight.” He shrugged, his throat tight. “That’s it. So, I was back on the market when it all went down.” Watching the flames, trying to ignore that Damian was the only other man in this godforsaken place.Not that I would touch him with a six-foot pole, even if he were gay…wondering how long Damian would hold.Maybe he doesn’t like sex.Thinking how they were sitting there, like campers waiting for the weekend to end. Waiting for something. Somebody. A slight dread in him, that it was all an illusion, that sandy shore, these trees, the fire…
He swallowed, looking up, wishing he could just hug that other man, feel alive. “What if we’re dead?”
Damian looked up, puzzled. “What?”
“Dead… dead, you know… and this is some other place?” His voice so filled with fear that Damian wavered for a moment before his rational mind took over again.
“Hey… too much sun.” He whirled his finger around his temple, whistling, but Gabe just looked at him, his eyes wide a bit.
“No… what if… what if we don’t know… sitting here… waiting for that boat… or somebody to take us? This… could be death. How do you know we’re alive?”
