“Say it…” His heart tearing, watching his shoulders heave.
“I’m… I’m an alcoholic…” Crying then, small sobs into the night.
Gabe’s heart lurched, and he knelt next to him, pulling him into a hug, letting him howl in his arms, that warm skin of his neck under his lips as he soothed him. His scent, a hint of his perfume still wedged into his skin above all that sweat and salt. He almost kissed it, almost licked it with the tip of his tongue, but even if it were tempting, he also knew how wrong it would have been. So he just held him, letting him cry.
The sun high up early next morning, so they hurried to the beach after having eaten a few of those bugs and worms. Silent, just their labored breathing, that white light as the sand came in sight. They wrapped their shirts around their heads, walking to the mounds of debris and garbage lining the trees. Searching for hours, putting everything in neat piles. Cups, bottles, plates, forks, knives, spoons, old tyres, clothes, fishing nets, plastic bags, a staggering amount. Something tumbling in the waves, so Gabe rushed there, fishing that dark bundle out. A blanket. One from the plane, still sealed in plastic. More rolling in the waves. He fished them out and brought them to their piles, grinning.
“I have a catch! Look!”
“Oh… wow… great…” Trying to ignore where they were coming from.
They sat in the shade, marveling at those piles of junk, now a treasure, each useless, worn object a new opportunity to build their life.
“So many flip-flops… but none of them match…” Damian laughed a bit. “I can’t stand the fucking things.”
“They will be handy to walk around. I’m tired of being barefoot. I always get hurt.”
“Yeah…” He flicked his shirt. “This is soon falling apart…”
“We have some clothes in that pile, not much… but this…” He took a knife out, a large knife. “This is gold.”
Damian just nodded, his eyes on the sea. “Better than nothing.”
“We need a bigger shelter too, soon… I found a tarp, we could use that in the meantime, must have been ripped off a ship.”
“And build that pyre… come on…” He pushed to his feet, swaying a bit.
“You ok?”
“Yeah… I feel better. Might be over the worst. At least, there’s no temptation here.”
Gabe walked with him to gather driftwood, branches, building that pyre on the sand. “Yes…”
“I’m not looking for excuses, ok? I know I should have just fucking stopped… but…”
“But what?”
Damian sighed, trying to find the words for it. “Ah… life was not easy then… not the money, of course.” He shot Gabe an apologetic look. “But our marriage, the stress of work, the kids…”
“Who put that glass in your hand?”
“Yeah… right…”
Gabe shrugged. “People are like you, loads of them. It’s everybody’s fault. But it’s just yours. Putting that glass down would have been your decision. Could have been…” He shrugged and tossed more wood on that pile. “Your glasses, please.”
Damian handed them to him, keeping silent. Watching him light that pyre, the flames roaring to the sky, eating that dry wood.Futile…. But he followed Gabe’s determined strides down that beach, shuffling the sand, writing a huge SOS. Waiting, their eyes on the horizon, that shimmering heat tricking their senses.
Gabe sighed after a while. “There’s no point waiting. Let’s bring back what we can. The rest will be here tomorrow.”
“We need food.”
“Oh… yes… let’s roam those rocks, we might be lucky.”
They slipped those mismatched flip-flops on, rolling their pants up… not that it mattered…. And crawled all over those black rocks, knocking some limpets off. An exhausting hunt, but they got a good small bucketful, some snails and two crabs.
“Better than nothing…” Watching that meagre meal, but they set back, hauling some of that junk on their backs. Legs cramping from the effort and lack of water, their torsos burnt red.
Back at the camp, they pulled the tarp tight in front of the shelter, piling all those various objects up. They grilled the sea creatures close to the embers on bamboo sticks cut in half, that knife a lifesaver tool. Warming their hands over the fire as night set, that slight burn making them shiver.
