CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Savina
EVERYONE IS GATHEREDaround the table, singing Happy Birthday to me while I sit in front of an enormous five-tier cake decorated with delicate sugar flowers cascading down the side of the smooth ivory fondant. With all eyes on me, I would normally be nervous. But even though I hate to admit it, I’m feeling much more relaxed now since Dimitri gave me a couple of mind-blowing orgasms in the bathroom. It’s almost like he knew that’s just what I needed to calm me down.
And so, as everyone sings, I plaster a smile on my face. Arealsmile. My eyes dart around the room at all the faces until I find the blue eyes I’ve been seeking. It feels like time stops in that moment. Dimitri is leaning in the corner, his eyes on me even though a tall blonde is trying to get his attention. She’s touching his arm as if she’s comfortable in doing so, and my smile falters. The singing sounds distorted and muffled as I stare at thetwo of them.
Dimitri doesn’t pay her any attention, keeping his eyes locked on mine. But seeing the two of them together does something to me. My stomach twists uncomfortably as I imagine them sharing a drink, sharing a bed, sharing a life. A life I can’t possibly give him. A life that certainly won’t include him in the way I want it to.
Tears fill my eyes as I force my gaze away from them and focus on the fire atop the candles.
“Savina, what are you doing? Blow them out,” I can hear my stepmother hissing from behind me.
The candles are burning low. I don’t even know how long it’s been since the singing stopped. But I feel numb. Like my entire world is crumbling around me. I don’t know when the exact moment was that I fell for Dimitri Sokolov, but I did. I fell so damn hard. I know that now. And this is precisely what I didn’t want to happen. I knew, in the end, I would get hurt. I knew my heart would get broken, but I continued on with his games anyway.
“Savina!” my stepmother growls, bringing me back to reality.
I close my eyes and begin to blow out the candles, making a wish that Dimitri and I will end up together instead of the alternative. It takes me almost a full minute to do so until all the fire is out and a heavy plume of smoke lingers in the air. When I open my eyes, I catch of glimpse of Dimitri through the thick, gray cloud. His eyes darken as they meet mine, and I can’t help but wonder what’s going on in that head of his.
“My god, I thought we were going to have to call the fire department,” Cosette says dramatically before giggling. “Cake for everyone,” she announces with a hiccup.
I fall back into my seat, my legs incapable of holding up my weight anymore. It feels like the entire world is on my shoulders. I’ve been dreading this birthday for so long. And even though I still have a week of being twenty-two, I know that this chapter of my life is coming to an end in a short amount of time. I’ll be starting a new chapter with a husband who doesn’t care about me, who may never care about me. And the whole foundation of our relationship will bebuilt on lies and deceit, because I fooled around with his brother behind his back.
Tears threaten to fall, so I hang my head and try to think about other things until they disappear. People mill about around me, and the long table quickly fills up with people. I glance around at the ones seated. My stepmother and father sit on either side of me, along with numerous other people I know I introduced myself to but don’t remember their names. At the far end of the table are Mr. Sokolov and Dimitri. I expect Pavel to fill the empty seat next to Dimitri, but instead that familiar blonde sits down, practically beaming. My hands curl into fists under the table. Damn it, I’m jealous. I can’t help it.
He’s mine, my inner bitch yells inside my head.
Except that…he’s not mine. And I fear that eventually I will have to face facts and let Dimitri go at some point. But I decide that’s something I need to think about later, because right now I need to focus and get through this party, whether I want to or not.
The waiters bring out slices of birthday cake on fancy plates. When one of the plates is set in front of me, I spot some kind of red berry inside the layers of the cake, and my stomach instantly seizes up.No, she wouldn’t… Would she?!
“Excuse me. What kind of cake is this?” I inquire to the sever before he can walk away. I hope I’m just being paranoid, because Cosette and Ijusthad this conversation about me being allergic to raspberries.
“It’s a three-layer raspberry champagne cake,” the server answers me.
Of course Cosette would pickherfavorite formybirthday party. But now, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever had the type of cake that I wanted for my birthday. And I know that I spent at least one of those occasions in the hospital for this same exact reason. I can remember my face blowing up like a balloon after consuming raspberries hiddeninside my cake.
Frowning at the plate, I push it away from me, not wanting to go into anaphylactic shock in front of everyone.
Conversation strikes up around the table, and I overhear Cosette talking about the night of the costume party. “Someone could hear a couple inside the maze having sex,” she says, giggling before taking a huge swig of wine. “No one knows who it was, but Charles is extremely upset about people desecrating his beloved hedge maze.”
A blush burns my cheeks as my eyes dart up and lock onto Dimitri’s. He has a roguish grin on his face as we share our inside secret, and I have to put my hand over my mouth to cover up a laugh.
“Savina, why haven’t you touched your cake?” Cosette asks loudly for the whole room to hear. Clearly, she’s trying to embarrass me and make me seem ungrateful.
I feel all eyes on me as I stare back at her. “I’m allergic to raspberries,” I say just as loud.
“Oh my god,” she gasps, holding her hand over her heart.Always so dramatic.“I completely forgot!”
Again, I add in my mind. I see Dimitri scowling from the other end of the table. I think even he is tired of Cosette’s shit, and I can’t say I blame him. “It’s all right. Everyone, please enjoy your cake on my behalf,” I say, doing everything in my power to keep the disdain out of my tone.
Cosette signals one of the servers and asks, “Is there any other cake in the back that we could give the birthday girl?”
“No, ma’am. You ordered only this cake to be made and served,” he says, causing me to chuckle.
I just love it when Cosette tries to save face and fails miserably. After being embarrassed by her own doing, my stepmother gets quiet and takes on a private conversation with the lady sitting next to her. With the attention off of me now, thankfully, my eyes once again roam to the other side of the table.
Dimitri and the blonde are talking. His gaze is locked on the napkin gripped in his tight fist, but I can hear bits of their conversation.They aren’t speaking English.
