Again, I’m appreciative of his effort.At least he’strying,I try to tell myself.“I love it,” I tell him honestly. “Thanks again for agreeing to the contract amendment.”
“No problem,” he says with a smile.
Slowly, the awkwardness begins to return, and I hate it. It shouldn’t feel like this, right? He’s going to be my husband, and we can’t even keep up a conversation for more than a few seconds. How the hell are we going to spend the rest of our lives together when it’s like this?
“Have you…have you picked out your suit yet?” I ask.
“We’re going tomorrow.”
“You and Dimitri?”
“Yes.”
I try not to sound too excited when I bring up his brother, but I can’t help it. The dynamics of our relationship have changed, and now I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s worrisome, to be honest, but I can’t seem to help myself. Even sitting in the car with his brother, my future husband, my thoughts stray to Dimitri.
“I picked out my dress,” I tell him.
“Oh, that’s great.” Pavel swallows hard and glances out the window. He almost looks like he’s getting physically ill over discussing my dress and the wedding.
The rest of the car ride is met with uncomfortable silence. I don’t bring up the wedding again, and he doesn’t either. In fact, he makes no effort to talk to me at all; choosing instead to look out the window.
And when we reach my apartment building, I couldn’t be happier to get the hell out of the car. I feel like I’m practically suffocating. “Thank you for giving me a ride,” I tell him.
He turns to look at me and gives me a small grin. “You’re welcome, Savina. Anytime.”
Should I kiss him?I can’t help but think. But when he turns away from me to look out the window once more, I know he could care less about me giving him any sort of attention or affection. Feeling miserable, I climb out of the car and slam the door shut before practically running into my building.
The elevator ride seems to take forever, and it’s only once I’m inside my apartment that I let out an exasperated sigh as tears fill my eyes. How can I possibly marry someone that I don’t love and will probably never be able to love?It’s just not fair.
My phone vibrates in my purse, and I’m quick to look at it.
Dimitri:Make it home okay?
And for some reason, it’s like a dam breaks open, and suddenly tears are streaming down my face. Sniffling, I type out a quick text back.
Me:Yes. Thanks.
I don’t hear anything else from Dimitri for the rest of the night, but it’s probably for the best. No matter how much I long for Dimitri, he’s ultimately not going to be the one that I marry. And if I don’t get a hold on this obsession soon and stop it quickly, my heart will ultimately end up broken into a million pieces and beyond repair.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Savina
IT’STHE NIGHT of the charity costume ball, and I’m nervous. An hour before I started getting ready, I received a delivery — a giant box with a big, red bow addressed to me with no return name or address that I could find. But when I opened the box and saw the costume nestled inside, I knew immediately who it was from.
And now, as I stare at the two dresses currently hanging in my room, I am torn on which one to choose. One, a fancy Victorian gown that my stepmother picked out for me and probably had flown in from Paris or something extravagant and over the top like that. The other, a slutty but somehow still tastefulLittle Red Riding Hoodcostume complete with a dress, a corset, thigh highs and a long cape.
“Darby?” I anxiously call out to my friend.
“Yes, love of my life, sister I would kill for?” she calls back from her room, making me smile.
“I need your help with something, please.”
“Coming!” she cries before I hear her bedroom door opening and then hurried footsteps down the hallway. She’s dressed in her work uniform, readying herself for yet another grueling Saturday night at her bar. I wish she could just come with me instead of working, but I already know where she’d rather be, and I can’t say I blame her. Darby spies the costumes hanging up and stops short, her mouth dropping open. “Wow, you didn’t tell me your stepmother was sending you two!”
“She didn’t. One of them is from someone else.”
She grins. “Oh, someone else, huh? Pavel?” she teases.
