I close my eyes for a moment. "I…I just…I wanted to say goodbye."
As the words come out of my mouth, Colton turns and looks at me. "Goodbye?" he asks as if he doesn't know the meaning of the word. "You're leaving? Today?"
I nod. "Right now actually."
His entire body tenses, and his muscles ripple in response. "But you said a few more weeks."
"Would it have made a difference?" I blurt out. Shaking my head, I say, "Let's face it, Colt. Me being here is not a good thing for either one of us. I drive you crazy."
"You always drove me crazy," he whispers.
I stare at him with narrowed eyes. A bloom of hope bursts in my chest. "You…you remember…?"
"No." He sighs heavily. "You told me that before."
Instantly, I feel deflated. And that's exactly how it's always going to feel. Just when I get a glimmer of hope, everything will be dashed away in an instant when I realize that Colton is never going to remember me. "Yeah. Well, I just wanted to say goodbye." I can barely make myself meet his stare, but I eventually do. His expression is unreadable, but I can see a hint of sadness in his dark gaze. "I hope you have the best life you could ever possibly dream of, Colt. I want the best for you. I hope you know that." Tears start blurring my vision, and I quickly turn away. I'm a few steps away from the shed when Colton calls out my name. I slowly turn to look back at him.
"I just want you to know somethin'." He takes a step towards me, and I stay rooted in my spot. "The truth," he clarifies. "Ruby Sue came over that night and threw herself at me. You saw her kissin' me, but you didn't see me pushin' her away. I let her spend the night 'cuz she'd been drinkin', and in the mornin' she made me believe that we had slept together. That's why I couldn't answer you for sure when you asked. I didn't remember, but she was so adamant that we did." He takes a long breath before he continues. "Anyway, the other night at the dance she finally confessed the truth. We didn't sleep together. She lied to me. And now it's truly over between Ruby Sue and me…just like it should have been months ago." He hangs his head in defeat. "I just wanted you to know that."
They never slept together. My heart is threatening to jump out of my chest, and my knees are close to buckling. They kissed, which is still kind of cheating…but if Ruby Sue threw herself at Colton, was it really his fault? He stayed true to me even though Ruby Sue was technically his girlfriend. He stayed true to me.
I stand there in shock. If only I could go back in time, it would change things. I thought Colton had cheated on me. I thought he was breaking my heart, but it never happened. This changes everything…but it's too late. I'm leaving. I already made the plans. The ticket is purchased. The apartment is ready. Tucker is expecting me.
I put my face in my hands and breathe in and out slowly. Why didn't Colton tell me sooner? It would have changed everything. "Tell me what you're thinking, Colt," I say, finally meeting my gaze with his. "I just never know."
"I feel like…I feel like I don't want you to leave. I feel like that piece of me that you filled up when you came back is being ripped out of me once again."
I slowly absorb his words. "But why do you feel like that? Do you know why?"
He shakes his head.
And therein lies the problem. He'll never know why he feels a certain way about me because he'll never remember me. He'll never love me like he did, and that is the sole reason why I have to leave. Even if the circumstances have changed a bit, it doesn't fix everything. It just makes it more complicated, and that's exactly why I'm running away. I can't keep tugging on my heartstrings, because one day this heart is going to irrevocably break.
"I have to go, Colt."
"Penny, wait."
I watch him carefully as he stalks towards me. I hold up my hands. "Don't. Please don't," I beg. He stops walking and tilts his head to the side as he looks at me. I'm slowly crumbling before him. If he touches me, I won't be able to leave, and I know I have to…for both our sakes. "This is just the way it has to be." I give him a small smile through my tears. "At least now when I come back into town you'll remember me," I whisper before turning away.
"Always," he whispers back.
At first, I walk down the hill, and then I start to run. I run and run and don't stop until I'm at my car. Buddy is leaning against the trunk when he sees me. He opens his arms, and I run into them. I can't hold back the tears any longer, and Buddy doesn't say a word as I sob in his arms. His hand strokes my back and he hushes me, soothing me as best he can.
"I know, Penny. I know," he whispers in my hair. "It's going to be okay. You'll see. It'll all work out in the end."
His words are comforting, but they couldn't be farther from the truth. Nothing will ever be okay again.
Shelby Rae stands off to the side with a sad look on her face. "Are you stayin' or goin'?" she asks solemnly.
"Going," I murmur. "Definitely going."
Shelby Rae gives me a sad look, but nods before getting in the driver's side. I hug Buddy one last time. "I think I'm gonna miss you most of all, Buddy," I tell him, my voice breaking with every single word.
He breathes me in deep and hugs me so tight I can feel my ribs creaking in protest. "You come back and visit, you hear?"
I nod as he releases me. "Take care of him."
"You know I will. But who's gonna take care of you?"
