She's right. She's so fuckin' right. It's not fair. I've grown so accustomed to havin' her chasin' after me that I never thought I would have to let her go. I thought she would always be there waitin', wantin' me. But now she's done and rightly so. She doesn't deserve this. I don't deserve her. But the thought of her and Tucker together makes me grit my teeth in anger.
I stalk over to a large tree at the side of the building and punch the bark with my right fist and then the left. I punch the immovable object until my knuckles are bloody and throbbin' with pain. I long to be punchin' Tucker's face…again. I've never felt so jealous before. The realization behind the jealously slowly crawls over me. I don't want Penny with anyone else. I want her withme.
"Colt!" Buddy's voice cuts across the parkin' lot as he jogs up to me. "What the hell are you doin'?"
I stare down at my bloody hands and slowly shake my head. "I don't know anymore," I mumble. Everything is so fucked up. I can't even get my head straight.
"Is this just a pissin' contest between you and Tuck, or is somethin' else goin' on here? You can't just go around punchin' people in the face. He could sue you. You could lose everything. I could lose everything," he stresses.
"He keeps pushin' my buttons!" I yell in defense.
"Yeah. Well, that seems to be happenin' a lot lately." He throws his hands up in the air in disgust. "I can't keep doin' this with you, Colt. You need to let her go."
I am momentarily stunned. My mouth opens to speak, but then I close it.
"Let Penny go," he clarifies. "Just let her go, man."
I growl in frustration and rake my fingers through my hair. "I just love how everyone suddenly knows what's best for me or best for Penny. You aren't the first one who told me to let her go."
"Well, that should tell you somethin'," he responds. "She deserves better than this," he says, pointin' to the building. And then he gestures towards me and says, "And she sure as hell deserves better than you."
I curl my hands into fists at my sides. Even my best friend is against me now. "Fuck!" I scream up at the night sky.
Buddy is quiet for a long while before he finally speaks. "Do you feel better now? Does it feel good to scream?"
"Yes!" I yell.
"Good. Now get the fuck over it, Colt, and move on. And let Penny move on with her life too."
"I don't want her to move on," I say gruffly with no hesitation.
He glances up at me sharply. "Then you should have thought about that before you fucked everything up."
I watch him walk away after that. The sound of crickets pierces the dark hush around me as I slowly walk over to my truck and climb in. I slam the door shut and start the engine. It only takes me a few minutes to make it home. As I lay awake in bed, the events of the night run over and over in my head. Everyone wants me to let Penny go, but what do I want?
The only answer I can come up with is…I want Penny to be happy. And it kills me that she might be happier without me.
CHAPTER 23
PENNY
I HAVEN'T TALKED or seen Colton in three days. I know he's keeping his distance for some reason or another. I just wish I knew what the reason was. I don't know if it's more for my benefit or his. Maybe he's finally done with me. Maybe I'm finally done with him. Who knows. I feel like a rag doll being torn between two people. Half of me wants to stay and try to save my relationship with Colton, and the other half wants to leave this town and never look back. Only time will tell the decision I finally make. All I know is that right now I'm beyond miserable.
Tucker walks into the bar a few minutes before my shift is over. I drop the dishcloth on the table I'm currently cleaning and turn to him.
"Hey, Penny." When his eyes meet mine, he smiles but immediately winces from the movement. Colton didn't break his jaw, but he gave him one hell of a bruise.
His watchful eyes study my face for a while before he says, "You look tired."
I give him a small grin. "I haven't been sleeping much." That's the understatement of the year. I feel like I haven't slept in forty years. This whole thing with Colton has my stomach in knots and my brain running constantly. I can't stop thinking about what happened or what might happen. I'm so confused about everything, and I just can't seem to find the light at the end of this very dark tunnel that is currently my life.
"Oh." His eyes drop before returning to mine. "Penny, I'm moving to New York in four days." That's news to me. "Permanently," he adds. My eyebrows rise, but I can't stay that I'm really all that surprised. Tucker has a career in New York. It was only a matter of time before he returned to it. "I want you to come with me, Penny."
I bite my lower lip, stalling for time.Four days. I was supposed to wait until the end of summer; but with everything going on, how could I possibly stay? Every day feels like a week, and I don't think I could mentally last the rest of my time here. I literally feel as if my heart is being slowly shredded by every passing second. I want to leave while I can still salvage a part of it. Colton will always own most of my heart, but maybe, just maybe someday I will be able to move on and begin to heal. It was a mistake coming here. I know that now. I should have never come back.
Tucker takes my hands in his and gazes into my eyes with an eager grin. "Say yes, Penny. Say yes."
Before I can second-guess myself, before I can even think about the consequences of my actions, I blurt out, "Yes."
