CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
Connell
Connell groaned, his eye blinking away the sleep. His head ached as he slowly rose from his bed. Sunlight glimmered within the room, making the looking glass twinkle. The wind rustled the drapes. Only the sound of twittering birds greeted his ears. As he threw off the blankets and stepped toward his clothes, draped over the chair resting near his desk, he wondered vaguely if Scott had dried the stag’s meat, or if Elsy was with the young girl, tending to her needs and ensuring she wasn’t working too hard.
Connell grimaced as he shoved his arms into the sleeves of his leine, reminding himself Elsy and Scotty had left the morning before. If anything, they were nearly a quarter of the way to the McKades.
“Do ye love me, Connell?”Connell closed his eye as he recalled Elsy’s words, the way her voice sounded, so smooth and soft, like the wind brushing faintly against his skin. His heart thudded in his ears as he imagined her before him, imagined her palm against his cheek, tenderly caressing him. How he would love to hear her once more, to see her before him one last time.
“Of course, I do, Elsy,” he whispered to the room, knowing deep down no one would answer. Not now, when he was all alone. The silence seeped into him, making the remnants of his ice-cold soul ache, and he knew he needed to busy himself with something, with his duties, to keep himself from wallowing in his own self-pity.
Connell clenched his jaw and shook those thoughts away.Don’t think of her,he told himself while pulling his tights onto his legs and shoving his feet into his boots.It will only make matters worse.He grabbed his cloak and threw it over his shoulders, the keys in the pocket clanging against his leg.
He stalked down the winding staircase, forcing thoughts of Elsy away. He couldn’t spend all his time wondering if she was safe and if she and Scott had all they needed. As he stepped onto the landing and walked through the corridor, he couldn’t help but wonder about his men, if they would come upon her, capture her, and haul her back to the fortress. Connell shook his head.Not possible,he told himself.The paths diverge around the wood, and she left the day before. She will not come upon them, and they will not know of her leaving until they return.
Connell grimaced as he opened the door into the kitchen, already feeling his hair rising as he thought of his men and their questions. Glenton wouldn’t be happy. Logan would slur his anger. Donald and Grant possibly would regard him quietly while Ian would pester him with questions. Connell sighed as he hovered over the table, still stained with blood from the stag and the hares. His stomach did not grumble. There was no hunger in him, but he knew he needed to eat, keep his strength up in order to combat his men. He grabbed the last slice of cheese, breaking off the moldy bits before shoving it into his mouth.
“Connell,” he heard Brann say from the door.
Connell turned toward him, finding the young man leaning against the threshold, his brows pinched together in worry. There were letters bound together with a brown string in one hand, the other fisted at his side. Connell swallowed the lump of cheese, hardly tasting his food as it went down his throat.
“Aye, Brann, what is it?”
Brann straightened himself and stepped forward while holding out the bundle of letters. “These just arrived from the scouts. Glenton and the others were spotted on the border of the wood the night before. They should be upon us by early afternoon.”
Connell nodded as he took the letters. He expected Brann to turn and leave, to attend to his duties, but he remained. His hands gripped each other, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, making Connell wonder what more the man wanted.
“What is it, Brann?” Connell finally asked when Brann did not say anything more.
Brann sighed, one hand pushing his brown locks away from his forehead. “I was wondering what ye will tell them?”
Connell’s frown deepened. “Tell them?”
“About Elsy and Scotty.” Brann made a face. His nose wrinkled in distaste, as if he swallowed something foul before adding, “About them leaving.”
Connell sighed. “I have not thought of an excuse.”
“Perhaps,” Brann said, his mouth hanging open, his eyes dipping to the floor. His voice shook nervously as he spoke, “Ye should tell them the truth. Glenton and Logan may not understand, but the others--”
“Ye need not concern yerself with my matters,” Connell said sternly, stalking briskly pass Brann. “I will tell them whatever it is they wish to hear.” Without another word, Connell slammed the door shut. His scowl darkened as he stalked down the long hall toward his study, his grasp on his letters crumpling the paper.
How dare he give me advice on such things,Connell thought darkly.How dare he think to know any better.He paused outside the door to his study and shoved his hand into his pocket, grasping the keys painfully. The metal pinched his palm, but he ignored their bite as he scowled at them, searching for the key to his study. Before he could grab the correct key, his fingers fumbled with the whole lot of them, and he gasped as they slipped from his grasp and fell onto the floor.
What is wrong with me?he wondered angrily as he reached down and grabbed the key ring holding them together. Shaking his head, Connell shoved the key inside the lock and kicked the door open, ignoring the bang of wood against stone as he stalked inside and dumped his body into his seat. His hands shook as he untied the string holding the letters together. His gaze darkened as his mind flooded with images of Elsy returning with Scott, hand in hand, carrying flowers and herbs between them.
I shouldn’t have been so cruel to them,he thought while ripping one letter open, tearing off the top corner of the paper.I should have been more understanding. They hadn’t gone far from the fortress. They had returned safely. Why was I so cruel?
Connell unfolded the letter and stared at the black ink. His eye searched the words, yet his mind couldn’t focus on their meaning. He couldn’t stop thinking of Elsy and Scott. They had no entourage to protect them on their journey to the McKades. He had given the driver enough pay for their food and lodging, but what if the man took advantage of his kindness? What if the driver left them on the road to fend for themselves? What if they came upon highwaymen?
Connell set down the letter and leaned back in his seat. His hand stroked his chin as he stared at his desk. Light filtered inside, making the garnet ring still lingering on the table glitter.Nae,Connell thought.Not just any ring. Elsy’s ring. McCormick’s ring.Connell tried to remember the anger that one small trinket had held for him only a few days before, but the darkness did not rise now as he stared at the crimson red jewel. Not now after everything he and Elsy had been through. He loved her. He no longer cared who she had married in the last four years and what she had done. All he wanted was for her to be safe and taken care of.
“Is that so wrong?” he asked himself, earning silence as his answer.
Connell sighed as he stared at the ring, feeling compelled to leave, but he did not know where to go. His body urged him to chase after Elsy, to bring her and Scott back to the fortress. He hated this silence, he hated that they’d left. He hated not telling Elsy of his feelings. She was right. They could be a family. He didn’t have to live his life seeking out vengeance, not when McCormick was dead.
Connell didn’t know how long he sat like that in his chair, staring at McCormick’s ring, his body tense and his feet urging him to go, to chase after Elsy and tell her—Connell grimaced, knowing he should remain. If he went to her now, it would only make matters worse. She couldn’t be with him. He wasn’t worthy enough for her.
A sound of the door creaking open greeted Connell’s ears, making him straighten in his chair. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he heard low voices echoing down the hall followed by the padding of footsteps.
