Connell stalked out of his chambers and down the steps, his legs moving slowly. He hadn’t spoken with Elsy since their argument and part of him wondered if she would rebel, lock herself in her rooms or demand he get in the carriage with him.
She should let me go,he thought as he stepped onto the landing and strode toward the entrance to the courtyard. His heart twinged when he found Scott and Elsy standing at the door, holding hands, waiting for him. Neither of them had any items to take with them, only the clothes on their back. Connell noticed the green dress Elsy wore. She’d had it on the day before. The hem was still stained with mud.
“I see that all is in order,” Connell said after clearing his throat.
“Do I really have to go?” Scott asked, her voice meek, her eyes brimming with tears. She sniffed and wiped at them, looking away from him.
Connell crouched in front of Scott, his hands on her shoulders. He forced a smile, yet he hated seeing her go. “Aye, ye must,” he whispered. “But it’s for yer own good. It’s to keep ye safe.”
“But I am safe here,” Scott said, her voice cracking.
Connell shook his head. “I can’t protect ye here.”
“I’m going to miss ye.” Scott threw her hands around Connell’s neck, burying her face in his chest. “Please, come with us.”
Connell sighed as he pushed Scott away from him, carefully removing her arms from his neck. “Ye know I cannot.”
Scott whimpered, and Connell knew he wouldn’t be able to bear it if the girl began crying. He turned to Elsy, expecting to see her staring angrily at him. Instead, all he saw was pity, which was even more upsetting.
“Ye should present Scott as yer niece. Ye will need to look after her, make sure nae harm comes of her.”
Elsy nodded. “Of course,” she said softly.
“Tis for the best, Elsy.”
Elsy didn’t say anything. Her stare made his whole body tingle with want, with the need to go with her. He brushed past her and opened the door, finding the carriage entering the courtyard. Connell held the door open for Elsy and Scott as he watched the driver hop down from his perch and open the carriage door.
The man was older, perhaps his father’s age, with thinning hair and a greying beard. Connell frowned, wishing he could send guards with them. This driver wouldn’t be much help if brigands attacked. Connell walked with Elsy and Scott toward the man, his hand reaching for the large bag of coin in his pocket. He held it out for the driver, muttering lowly, “This should be enough for their safe passage as well as for food and a bed in an inn. I trust ye to care for them well.” He loomed over the driver, his gaze dark, making the elderly man’s eyes widen in alarm.
“Of course,” the driver whispered harshly. “I will see their safe passage.”
Connell gave a curt nod and took several steps back toward the fortress. He turned, wanting to enter so as not to see them leave, but his body betrayed him, halting his movements. His jaw clenched as he watched Elsy usher Scott forward. “Let’s go, Scotty,” he heard Elsy murmur.
Connell watched as Elsy took Scott’s hand, guiding the young girl toward the carriage. The driver grabbed Scott’s other hand, helping her inside. However, before the driver could assist Elsy, she turned around. Connell stiffened as he watched Elsy striding back to him, his mouth opening to tell her to leave him. All words left him, and his eyes widened as Elsy took his hand. That small, simply touch made his heart lurch and his body lean into her. His feet planted into the ground, refusing to budge, but she did not pull him toward her.
“Connell,” Elsy started as she stared up at him with eyes so green, they reminded him of the wood. They calmed his soul, and he didn’t want to blink, only wanted to stare at her and memorize everything he possibly could. “Please, just answer me this.”
Connell was finding breathing difficult. His jaw clenched as he stared at her, refusing to stroke her face, her hair, knowing the moment he did he wouldn’t be able to hold onto his control.
“Do ye love me, Connell?”
With all my heart,he thought, but his mouth remained closed.
Elsy’s frown deepened, her eyes glimmering up at him. “My husband is dead, Connell,” she whispered harshly while tears streamed down her cheeks. “Dead. Do ye hear me?” She shook her head. “Yer hunting a ghost, Connell, a shadow that ye refuse to let go of. This shadow will destroy ye, if ye let it. Ye will regret it. I know ye will. Ye will regret this day if ye do not come with us.” Her lips trembled, her brows tenting, and he knew she was trying to control her tears. “Yer allowing this ghost of a man to destroy yer life, Connell. It pains me so. Yer letting him win. Yer letting him keep ye from yer family.”
“Elsy,” Connell breathed, unable to control himself any longer. His fingers stroked away her tears and he loved the way she leaned into his touch.
Elsy shook her head. “Never mind,” she said while stepping away from him. “It does not matter. I know ye will not change yer mind.” She inhaled deeply, her back straightening. “What matters more are the missing children and that disgusting man taking them. Please find them.”
Connell nodded. “Of course I will. I have not forgotten.”
“Destroy that monster, if ye can,” Elsy said. “It’s more honorable than chasing a dead man.”
Connell watched her turn around, his heart aching as he watched her taking the driver’s hand. He stepped forward, feeling the pull to go to her, but he stopped himself.This is for the best,he told himself as he watched the driver close the door.
The driver ushered the horses forward, the carriage making a circle within the courtyard. Scott’s head peeked out the window, her hand lifted in farewell, tears streaming down her face. Connell lifted his hand, forcing a smile as he watched the carriage pull away. He found himself unable to move from where he stood. He watched that carriage continue down the dirt path toward the wood before it finally disappeared. His shoulders shook, silence once again greeting him. He was all alone now, with only his demons to keep him company.
Ye did the right thing,he told himself as he stood alone in the courtyard. However, he couldn’t help but feel as if there was another choice he could have made. Elsy’s words repeated in his head. Memories of their time together flooded his thoughts. He remembered the feel of her lips on him, of her mouth grazing against his scar, of her smile, her tender touches. Anger seized him, and he realized it wasn’t toward her. It wasn’t toward McCormick for being evil, or at Brann for being foolish in allowing Elsy and Scott to go to the garden.
It was anger at himself for pushing away the only woman he had ever loved.
