Connell winced. Elsy had always been so good at reading him. He couldn’t deny her the truth and he didn’t want to. “Yer still McCormick’s widow,” he found himself saying, hating the words, hating the implications behind them.
“But that means naething.” Elsy took his hand, pulling it close to her chest. She stared up at him, a sad smile on her lips. “Ye know the truth now, of him and I. We can--”
“Nae, Elsy,” Connell whispered, pushing her hand away from him. “I am still a man with a duty to his people. That has not changed.”
“And what about us?”
Connell shook his head. “Elsy--”
She laughed bitterly, tossing her hands up while she stepped away from him, standing between him and the door. “Will ye give me to yer men, as ye threatened before?”
Connell winced, his heart aching, feeling as if he was being sliced through with a blade over and over again. “Nae,” he whispered. “I would never give ye to them.”
“Then what, Connell?” Elsy shook her head, wiping the tears furiously from her eyes. “Will ye keep me locked away in this fortress? Forever?”
“Nae--”
Elsy ran to him, her hands clutching at his tunic. “There is still time,” she said, her eyes wide, a terrified smile on her lips. She looked desperate, as if she was talking him into battle rather than love. “Ye can still make things right.”
Connell scoffed.
“Go to yer father.”
“I told ye, Elsy,” Connell said, his words strained. “That is not possible.”
“Then come with me,” Elsy whispered, her lips trembling. “Let’s start a new life together. Free of yer duties, free of yer need for vengeance. We can finally be together. We can be happy.”
“Elsy,” said Connell. His words caught in his throat as he stared at her, his mouth hanging open. Everything within him told him she was right, told him he should go with hernow, while they had the chance. The only thing holding him back was knowing he would always question himself. Was this the right choice for him? For Scotland?
“I don’t think I can,” he said, shaking his head. “I am too far gone, Elsy.”
“Nae, yer not!” Elsy shouted. “Ye can still be happy. With me.”
Connell grabbed her shoulders, slowly pushing her away. Her fingers clung to his tunic until finally they released him. “I cannot go with ye, Elsy. If anyone was to discover me, my true name, my true kinship,” he paused, shaking his head, “there could be others attempting to harm ye, attempting to harm my father. It is better this way.”
Elsy sobbed, her hands covering her face. “It’s not right,” she wailed. “It is not better this way, and ye know it.”
“But I will protect ye Elsy,” Connell said, leaning toward her, wishing she would move her hands away so he could see her face once more. “I will always protect ye. I have a plan to get ye away from the fortress. Ye will not have to suffer my men.”
Elsy’s sobs halted, peeking up at him through her fingers. They slowly slid away, revealing her wide, stunned eyes. “What?” she whimpered.
“I will call for a carriage to take ye to the McKade clan, as ye were originally intended to travel to. Ye will be safe there.”
Elsy blinked, her lips hardening. “Yer letting me go?”
“Aye,” Connell said with a nod. “I am letting ye go.”
“But-but, why?”
Connell smiled sadly, his hand reaching to stroke her hair away from her face.Because I love ye,he wished to say, but knew he couldn’t. The moment those words left his lips, he knew her hope would be renewed. He knew she would hold onto those words for the rest of her days.Nae,he thought.I can never tell her those words.She leaned into the touch as he said, “Because I believe ye, Elsy. Ye know naething of McCormick’s lies, of his schemes. There is nae use holding ye here. Ye deserve to live yer life. Ye deserve to be free.”
Elsy sniffed, her shoulders shaking as she gave him a dismal nod. “When will I leave?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“Perhaps in two days’ time. Maybe three. Hopefully before the men return from their raid.” Connell ground his teeth, hating the worry building within him. “We don’t have much time, Elsy.”
He watched her slowly turn around and open the door. She no longer held herself with her head high. Her shoulders were slumped in defeat. He could hear her quiet whimpering, her soft sniffles. “Fine then,” she whispered with her back turned toward him. “I will go to the McKades when the carriage arrives.”
Connell watched her leave, his body urging him to follow her. He held himself still, his hands fisting at his sides.This is for the best,he told himself, yet his heart twinged, and his body ached for her touch. He heard grunting in the corridor, slowly steering his thoughts away from Elsy and her tear-filled eyes.Brann and the stag,he thought, urging his feet to take him to help the poor man, but he leaned against the wall, unable to move. His breath was shaky as he focused his gaze on the floor, staring at the cracks in the stone. Tears prickled his eye. He only had these last few days with Elsy, but he would treasure them, as he treasured all the memories of her before.
