CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
Connell
Connell stepped lightly through the wood, careful where he moved so as not to snap any sticks lying on the ground. The trees were thick. The moss covered the forest floor, its green hue brightened by the morning rain. He held his bow close to his hip, keeping his body low so the stag before him didn’t give chase. His eye focused on his prey several feet in front of him, eating at the grass growing at the base of a tree. Its large brown eyes hadn’t noticed Connell yet.
He grabbed an arrow from the sling on his back, moving precisely, knowing he only had this one chance. If he failed, the stag would run, and he would have to begin again. It was difficult these days, hunting with only one eye. Difficult to see, difficult to move, but after years of training he believed he was getting better. He would never be the great huntsman he had once been as a young laird’s son, but he was better now than he had been shortly after the Battle of Falkirk.
Connell held the arrow, slowly pulling back the string and aiming the tip at the stag’s heart. He breathed in, steadying his breath. The stag lifted its head, its eyes turned toward Connell. Connell didn’t wait, he released the arrow. The stag turned, but it was not quick enough. It lurched forward as the arrow landed in its chest. Connell ran, closing the distance between them quickly. The stag fell, its hooves pawing at the ground before finally, all life left its gaze.
Connell grabbed the end of the arrow, yanking it from the stag’s body and wiping the blood-soaked tip onto his cloak. “Thank ye, for yer sacrifice,” Connell whispered as he took his knife from inside his boot, the metal glinting in the light.
There was something about hunting that always calmed Connell. It kept him grounded, focused. Being in nature always had a calming effect on him. After arguments with his father, he had often gone to the forest surrounding the MacArthur clans. Sometimes to hunt, other times to be alone, listening to nature. It didn’t matter the reason; he knew whatever plagued him would dissipate the moment he was enclosed in nature.
But why can’t I get her out of my head?Connell thought while throwing the stag onto his horse. He grabbed the reins, but he didn’t move as he stared at the fortress in the distance. Heaving a long sigh, he wondered if he should turn around, look for a hare or a pheasant to hunt. He wasn’t ready to return and face Elsy. He didn’t think he could control himself if he looked upon her green eyes, her swollen lips, her fiery hair. Even now, he found his body swelling with need as his mind recalled her gasps, her tender touches, the desire in her gaze. But the sun was already beginning to set, and the wood was not safe once darkness fell. Even now, the sky was engulfed in red, casting a golden hue over the fortress. The fiery rays reminded him of Elsy’s hair, of it being tangled in his fingers, of the way it smelled like a mixture of soil and grass.
He clenched his jaw, his heart fluttering as he recalled her words,“It’s stunning. All of ye is stunning to me.”He shivered as he remembered her lips on his scarred eye, kissing the pain away, breaking down the walls he had built around himself.
It was a mistake, he told himself. They couldn’t go back. She deserved better. He couldn’t protect her the way he wanted. Not with the men, soon to return, who would demand answers. They would surely take matters into their own hands. It was too late for him and Elsy to be together, but it wasn’t too late for her to escape. He needed to send word, find a carriage for her so she might go to the McKades. He would deal with his men, whatever may come his way.
Connell sighed as he led his horse forward, his feet trudging against the dirt path. He needed to keep her away from him. He loved her, he truly did, but he knew his love would destroy her. His heart ached with the thought. If only he could let go of his hate and vengeance. Once, those dark feelings had been the only thing that kept him going. Now they were the two things holding him back. Elsy made him want to be someone else. She made him envy the man he used to be. If only he could return to that time.
The sun’s rays were just beginning to dissipate when he finally returned to the castle. Darkness seeped into the stone. Stars littered the night sky. Connell tilted his head back, staring up at their twinkling light. Once, he had heard a story about wishing upon the stars. It was a foolish tale told to children, but now he wished Elsy to be safe, to forget about him and find another who could love her the way she deserved, to find a man better than him. His eye slowly closed, and he listened to the wind bustling past. The courtyard was quiet. He relished the silence for a brief moment before his horse whined and pawed at the ground.
Connell’s eye opened and he chuckled sadly. “Aye,” he agreed while releasing his horse’s reins. “I suppose yer ready for yer rest.” He grabbed the stag, grunting with its weight.There must be enough meat here to feed us a whole week,he thought while dumping the body near the door. He would need Brann’s help in carrying it to the kitchens.
With a heavy sigh, he grabbed his horse’s reins, guiding it toward the stables. Even they were filled with silence, given the men had taken their horses for the raid. If Connell wanted to help with Elsy’s escape, he would need to act fast. They would be back in the next few days. Connell sighed as he patted his horse’s back, listening to the beast huff in tired satisfaction as it tucked into its supper of hay.
“How happy ye must be,” he said with a sad smile, watching his horse’s head bob up and down, “to be a horse. To have nae worries, nae duties to attend to.” He sighed, his feet taking him from the stable to the courtyard. As he walked, he remembered how he woke in the middle of the night, staring at Elsy’s peaceful, dream-filled sleep. She had looked so beautiful in the soft firelight. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from stroking her hair, her face.
He remembered wrapping her in his cloak and carefully carrying her to her room, gently settling her onto the bed. His body had ached to lay next to her, to be with her, but something had held him still.Guilt, Connell thought as he entered the fortress, walking down the dark corridor toward the great hall. He felt guilty for making her believe they could return to how things used to be. They could never return. They were too different.
Connell frowned as he heard rummaging in the kitchens, his footsteps taking him to the door. He paused as he pushed it open, his eyes widening on Elsy and Brann, a bucket of water between them. Elsy was washing the plates and cups, handing each one to Brann to dry. The cobwebs and dust had been swept away, and the tables were no longer covered with the filthy dishes his men had left.
Elsy scowled at the cup in her hands, making Connell’s lips twitch. “I can’t believe these are so filthy,” he heard her mutter before shoving the cup in Brann’s direction.
“These duties usually fall to Scotty but given his illness…” Brann shrugged.
Elsy narrowed her eyes at Brann, the man visually shrinking before the dainty woman. “How many live under this roof?”
“S-seven,” Brann stuttered.
“And ye expect only one to help with the chores?”
Brann glanced around the room, clearly looking for a way out. His eyes filled with hope as they landed on Connell. Connell stifled his chuckle as Brann straightened, finishing with his drying and setting the cup and rag onto the table.
“Yer back,” Brann said simply. “Were ye able to find anything?”
“Aye.” Connell strode away from the door, feeling Elsy’s stare boring a hole in him. She watched his every move as she wiped the dirt from her fingertips, throwing the rag onto the table. “A stag,” said Connell, stopping before them. “I’ll need yer help carrying it inside. It’s too big for me to do on my own.”
Brann nodded, gleefully stepping away from Elsy as he said, “Aye, at once.”
Connell slowly turned, desperate for some space from Elsy, but her hand on his arm stopped him. He watched Brann stalk out the door, wishing to follow him, but he knew the longer he avoided Elsy the more upset she would become.
“Ye weren’t there when I woke,” she said, her tone laced with sorrow.
“We needed food.” Connell shrugged her away, but he didn’t move any closer to the door.
She stepped around him, facing him with a dark look in her eyes, her hands on her hips. "Why are ye avoiding me?”
