But I don't push. I never push Ressa. That's the whole fucking point—I was supposed to be safe. Supposed to be someone who didn't demand more than she could give.
Supposed to be better than this ache spreading through my chest like poison.
Maybe that's why he did this. She knew she'd be safe with me. That I'd heal her.
And now she can keep moving on just like I feared.
"Right." The word comes out flat. "The festival's over."
"I appreciate everything you did for me." She's still not meeting my eyes. "You're a good healer. A good male."
Good.Like I'm some fucking saint instead of someone who just spent the night buried inside her while she gasped my name. Like I didn't taste her pleasure on my tongue or feel her come apart twice beneath my hands.
Like none of it meant anything beyond temporary partnership.
I should leave. Should respect her obvious need for distance and get the fuck out before I make this worse. Should definitely not be standing here trying to understand where I went wrong.
I know her—or I thought I did. I know how she reacts when things get hard and how she withdraws into herself. So even though a part of me is screaming that her healing isn’t linear and she doesn’t want me to leave, I know I’ll never force myself onto her.
She has to choose for me to stay. She has to choose to push through that trauma.
"Did I hurt you?" The question slips out before I can stop it. "Last night, did I?—"
"No." Finally, she looks at me fully and her eyes are too bright. Like she's fighting back tears she won't let fall. "You didn't hurt me. You were perfect."
Perfect. The same word she used last night tangled in my arms. It sounds different now. Sounds like goodbye.
I force myself to nod, to accept what she's telling me even though every instinct screams that something's wrong. That this isn't what she actually wants.
But I don't get to decide what she wants. Don't get to push past boundaries just because I think I know better.
That's what the Stonevein males did. Took what they wanted without caring about her consent.
I won't be like them. Irefuseto be like them.
"Alright," I say quietly. "I understand."
Relief flashes across her face so quickly I almost miss it. Relief that I'm not fighting this. Not making it harder.
The knowledge that she's relieved to see me go carves something hollow in my chest.
I move toward the door, each step feeling wrong. "If you need anything—medical attention, supplies, anything—you know where to find me."
"Thank you."
I pause with my hand on the door frame, looking back at her standing alone in that small kitchen. She's hugging herself tighter now, her knuckles white where they grip her own arms. Every line of her body screams tension and pain she won't admit to.
But she asked me to go. She made it clear what she wants.
So I go.
The morning air hits cold against my skin as I step outside, the door closing behind me with quiet finality. The settlement's still mostly asleep, only a few early risers moving between buildings. No one to witness me walking away from Ressa'scabin alone when I'm sure many suspect I went inside with her last night after the festival.
My feet carry me without conscious direction, following familiar paths toward the edge of the base where forest meets cleared ground. I need space to think. Need to figure out where everything went wrong.
Last night felt right. Felt perfect. She wanted me—I'd swear my life on that truth. The way she kissed me, pulled me inside, begged me not to stop. The sounds she made. The way her body responded to mine.
None of that was fake. None of that was just following festival protocol.
