You've got it bad, St. John.
She had. That was the problem.
The end of her time on the island loomed over her like a jury delivering the verdict on their little escapade.
They'd agreed to stay present. To not think about what came next. But "not thinking about it" was proving significantly harder than she'd anticipated.
She heard him step onto the porch, the screen door creaking shut behind him. Only then did she open her eyes, staring at the ceiling while her mind raced through options.
She could bring it up. Corner him and demand they make a plan for what happened after.
Or she could do what they'd agreed—stay present, protect the bubble they'd built, and deal with reality when reality forced the issue.
More filming, she decided, throwing off the thin blanket.Keep capturing this place, this work, this version of Alex that the world deserves to see. Give yourself something to focus on besides the way the countdown makes your chest ache.
It wasn't a great plan. But it was a plan.
When Lily finally padded out to the porch, she found Alex already there—coffee in hand, staring at the ocean with the kind of intensity that suggested he was either solving complex equations or actively avoiding his feelings.
Given the past week, she was betting on the latter.
He didn't turn when the screen door creaked. Didn't acknowledge her presence at all, actually, which was interesting given that twenty minutes ago he'd been very much acknowledging her presence. His shoulders were tight, his jaw set in that way she'd come to recognize asAlex Carmichael is thinking too hard about something he doesn't want to think about.
She knew the feeling.
"Morning," she said, moving to stand beside him.
He turned, and something flickered across his face—want, maybe, or fear, or some complicated cocktail of both—before his expression smoothed into careful neutrality.
"Morning." His voice came out rougher than usual. "Coffee's ready."
"You're a saint." She crossed to him first, rising on her toes to press a kiss to his jaw. His hand came up automatically, fingers brushing her hip, and she felt the slight hitch in his breathing before she stepped away toward the kitchen.
He's pulling back, she thought, pouring her coffee.Preparing for the end.
She couldn't blame him. She'd been doing the same thing all morning—savoring stolen moments, storing up sensory details against the emptiness to come. The way he made her coffee without asking. The warmth of his body curved around hers in sleep. The sound of his laugh, rare and real, when she caught him off guard.
The problem was, preparation wasn't helping. If anything, it was making everything worse.
She emerged with her mug cradled between both hands, studying him through the steam. He was watching her now, his blue eyes unreadable, and she wondered what he saw. The sunny influencer? The woman he'd been sleeping with? Or the messy, complicated person underneath who was falling harder than she'd ever planned?
"So," she said, forcing brightness into her voice. "What's on the research agenda today?"
The tension in his shoulders eased slightly—safe territory, research. She could practically see him grabbing onto the topic like a lifeline.
"I need to check the coral formations on the western reef. The spawning cycle should be starting soon, and I want to document the timing."
"Coral spawning?" Her eyebrows rose. "That sounds... intimate."
The corner of his mouth twitched—almost a smile. Progress.
"It's actually fascinating. Once a year, usually triggered by the full moon, entire reef systems release their eggs and sperm simultaneously. The water turns cloudy with it. It's one of the most spectacular events in marine biology."
There he was. The Alex who lit up when talking about his work, whose passion burned through all the walls he tried to build. This was the version of him she'd fallen for—the one she was terrified of losing.
"You had me at 'spectacular.'" She grinned over the rim of her mug, pushing down the ache in her chest. "Can I come? Bring the waterproof camera?"
He didn't hesitate. "Fine. But you follow my lead outthere. The currents near the western reef can be unpredictable."
