“It’s always the ridiculously handsome guys that are the slimiest ones,” Marietta sighed, stirring the ice around her empty glass.
“OMG, gross,” I said, reaching over and pinching her shoulder. She winced, rubbing the tender spot before smiling at me and winking.
“Your dad may be a royal ass, but he is a silver fox,” she added, looking at Angelina and Rose for confirmation.
“Don’t look at me,” Rose said, holding her hand up and shaking her head. “Even if the guy looked like Gerard Butler and Alexander Skarsgård had a love child, if he had a shit personality, I wouldn’t find him attractive.”
“Meh,” Angelina said, shrugging. “I can appreciate a decent-looking silver fox, but Emma’s dad is a controlling jackass. Sorry, Em.”
“You’re not saying anything I don’t already know. Anyway, there’s a chance I could meet someone eventually. How’s the new job, Marietta?” I said, desperate for a change of topic, away from the dating disaster apps.
The drummer, warming up, chose that moment to bang out a little practice solo, acting like the punchline for a particularly bad joke. I rolled my eyes and schooled my features. Maybe they’d move on to Rose’s upcoming trip to some five-star resort for her sister’s wedding.
“Oh, no, you don’t. We’re not done discussing this. Has anyone messaged you? Have you messaged anyone?” Angelina asked, thanking the bartender for our drinks and taking a hefty sip of her rum and Coke. “Because I’d love to be the first to congratulate you on your new relationship.”
Damn it.
I mumbled, finishing the dregs of my beer and pulling the second one closer. The tangy hops tickled my tongue as I glanced around the bar, steadily getting busier as the band got closer to beginning their set. Perhaps the bass player was looking for a long-term girlfriend, and I could snatch him up without the awkward first date and subsequent excuses that followed.That could save me from navigating why online dating was an acceptable option for entering a meaningful relationship.
He was good-looking, dressed all in black, with his hair cut short on the sides and long enough in the front to fall over his eyes. A guitar pick was between his teeth as he bent down to adjust an amp on the stage, and I tracked the movement, tapping my finger on the side of the beer glass. It was a foolish thought—the guy looked like he was barely out of college, and I had at least three more decades to go before I entered cougar territory.
I cringed, wrinkling my nose at what my father and the headmaster would think if I brought a guy looking like the bass player to one of the fundraisers I was required to attend.
Oh, my. I was a pathetic people-pleaser who made decisions based on what other people thought I needed.
“Speak up, please,” Rose said, cupping her hand by her ear and narrowing her eyes. Of course, she didn’t realize the unfortunate conclusion I’d made about the innerworkings of my brain, so I pushed it aside and focused on her words.
“We all remember how well online dating worked for me. It only took one restraining order and anxiety medication to see the error of my ways.” She ran a hand through her short ebony hair and sighed before taking another sip of her drink.
With the way this evening started, an Uber ride was definitely in my immediate future if we didn’t order some greasy bar food to soak up the alcohol.
“Oh. Come on,” Angelina replied, stirring her drink. “It’s not all bad. What about Harry? I met him online, and we dated for almost a year.”
“Yep. And then you broke up because he didn’t want to take the next step,” Marietta said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.
“But that had nothing to do with meeting him on an app.” Angelina huffed, narrowing her eyes at Rose, who smiled andwinked. “Perhaps. So, have you talked to anyone?” She tilted her head, waiting for me to reply, so I tore my eyes away from the scrumptious guys on stage and thought.
I could lie—it would be easy enough to tell them I hadn’t gotten any responses. Or even that several ridiculously attractive men had reached out, desperate to take me out on a date. But the lies felt like ash in my mouth. My best friends deserved better than that. What was the point in having a circle of trust if you couldn’t share the bad and the good? Bracing myself for their reactions, I took a long drink of the hoppy beer and sighed.
“No one has deserved a message back yet, honestly. It’s just been laughable. Two dick pics and one invite for a video call with him and his mother.”
I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but truthfully, it was a confidence killer. Angelina pursed her lips, and Rose fidgeted with the napkin under her drink before lifting it to her lips to finish. She puckered with the flavor and shook her head, then glanced at the stage where a guy with bleached blond hair and a fishnet tank top slung a guitar over his body and stepped toward the microphone.
I didn’t expect to find true love after an hour, but knowing I was being judged by who knew how many guys based on a picture and the answers to a few surface-level questions was maddening.
“What douches. Were the dicks even decent looking?” Rose scoffed, trying to hold in a giggle. She failed, and soon the four of us were clutching our stomachs and laughing, the sound carrying over the band’s opening number and causing the surrounding tables to stare. But it didn’t matter—it felt good.
It felt freaking fantastic, letting go of the stress and worry of the day and just laughing with my best friends. Nothing else mattered. Not this ridiculous online dating nonsense or the ever-present fear of disappointing my parents—especially my father. Just strong drinks and good music.
“Couldn’t you just find a guy friend to go with you to whatever stuffy event Headmaster Twat-Racket demands you attend and then be done with him once you get a promotion?” Marietta asked. She had a valid question, and one I’d asked myself countless times this afternoon, even pulling up my phone’s contact list for suitable guys.
Maybetheythought that was the solution, butIknew better after making it to the z’s with no prospects. It might work for the short term, but was it really so bad to see if I could find someone this way?
Surely, it wouldn’t be such a thriving venture if no one ever found a happily ever after. What did I have to lose? I’d wade through a couple of bad dates, maybe get stood up a time or two, and have to deal with a few weirdos before I found somebody I genuinely connected with.
“I thought about that, but it’s not like I have guys lined up around the block to ask me out. What’s the harm in putting my love life in the hands of a supercomputer’s algorithm?”
“I guess,” Angelina said, fingering the teardrop necklace that fell below the neckline of her tank top. “But wouldn’t you rather meet someone organically?”
