“Then tell me that, dude. Don’t make up some half-ass reason why I should come over based on you and Mom gossiping.”
“Yeah. I mean, she did ask that I mention something to you, and I agreed with her, but—”
I glared at him, smiling as he held his hands up in surrender.
“Right. Okay. I’ll shut up about it.”
“Good. Now—oh. Whoa. Her belly is really hard, Mark.”
“What? Hard? What did the book say about that? Gas, right? Oh, fuck all. Give her here,” he said, reaching out to take her before gently placing her on his thighs. He ran his hands overher belly and down her legs with his lips between his teeth and his eyes pinched.
“Oh, no. You’re right. I need to burp her or bicycle her legs.”
I chose to be the better person and bask in the glorious sunlight of him saying I was right, rather than reminding him of his earlier rule not to swear in front of the baby.
Perhaps this day would end on a high note, after all.
As if Eloise heard me finally discovering her condition and saying it out loud, she let out the loudest, most disgusting noise possible. Think of a herd of elephants stomping on wet bubble wrap. We stopped and stared at the ten-pound infant as she sighed, then stuck her fist in her mouth and babbled away like she hadn’t ripped the loudest fart I’d ever heard.
“And that’s my cue,” I said, slapping him on the back and grabbing a baby wipe from the open container on the coffee table.
“Oh, you are an asshole,” he said as I cleaned my hands and laughed while he struggled to hold his breath.
“Ah. Ah. Language, little brother. Language.”
The front door opened as I passed Mark a new diaper. We both stopped and stared at the newcomer. Maverick stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and a scowl deeper than the Grand Canyon.
“This better be an emergency and not some attempt to set me up with your neighbor’s cousin’s sister again, Mark. You’re almost as bad as Mom is. Now, where’s my niece, and what’s that smell?”
He obviously saw the ruse for what it was right away, and I took solace that my first concern was Mark and Eloise’s distress and not some useless attempt to pry into my love life. I chuckled as he pursed his lips. Mark, at least, didn’t make it worse by saying anything as Maverick stalked forward, cracking his knuckles.
I watched the scene play out, backpedaling slowly to the front door as my brothers worked in tandem to handle the dirty diaper. Maverick was braver than I was, passing Mark wipe after wipe like he was a nurse assisting with a complicated surgery.
Chuckling, I waved at them as I made my exit. “I’ll help you with all the things, all the time, bro. But I draw the line at having you and Mom conspire to fix my love life while you’re elbow deep in baby turds. I’m doing just fine, thank you. Why don’t you use all this excess time you seem to have and work on Maverick, hm? He is the oldest, after all.”
Just when I thought Maverick’s scowl was at its absolute worst, he turned to me, and his eyebrows contorted, making my balls shrink to the size of marbles before I remembered he wasallbark andnobite. I laughed, shaking my head before clapping them on the back and striding to the door so I could make my escape. My laughter continued down the stairs and toward my truck, Maverick’s fervent argument about boundaries and baby butts following in my wake.
Chapter 4
“So, let meget this straight, you little people pleaser,” Marietta said before taking a sip of her cocktail and leaning toward the center of the table. I sighed and did the same, nursing my IPA as the bar thumped with the sounds of a local band warming up.
“Your uptight, pompous tit of a boss basically told you that you won’t get promoted unless you’re married or dating orwhatever, and you thought the solution to the problem was signing up for three different dating sites? All within two hours of him dropping this bombshell on you, I might add.”
I groaned, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, remembering a few questions I’d been forced to answer this afternoon. Well, notforcedto answer—more like backed into a corner with no chance of escape and decided the only option was to answer.
Describe your ideal weekend.
What is something you couldn’t live without?
Other than appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
Gah. It was like they were purposely goading you into not being truthful. Who would willingly admit they could never live without their first gaming system or the furry bunny slippers they’d had since college?
“I admit, that wasn’t my brightest moment, and I’m terrified my dad might be involved.” I rested my head on my hand as a bartender with spiky black hair and pink tips passed the table. Marietta asked for another round before focusing her attention back on me. Rose and Angelina stayed silent as she ranted, throwing her arms in the air in case I didn’t fully comprehend how she felt about my decision.
“Oh, honey. I hate that your father would stoop so low. You jumped at the chance to prove yourself, right? I’m sure that’s exactly what he expected you to do,” Rose said, the table silent with that little nugget of information revealed.
“Yeah,” I said, revealing my fears about the headmaster’s comment. “It made me spiral, honestly. To think that man would go to such extremes to control so much of my life.”
