I wouldn’t have tossed the title haphazardly into the mix without already having a deep-seated craving for that exact dynamic. But I’d been too chicken shit to explore it with anyone. Well, that wasn’t quite true. I was afraid of being vulnerable.
“I know what ageplay is, but I don’t think it’s something I want to explore.”
“Do you like being in a younger mindset?”
“Sometimes. Maybe. I don’t know,” I lied. It was easier to keep my vulnerability locked away because my life had no room for it. At least that’s what I told myself.
“Regardless of where we go from here, you need to stop lying to me. If you don’t want to talk about something or it’s too much then you explain that. Do not lie to me again.”
Sam joined me on the couch, pulling my legs onto his lap. I nodded as he gently massaged away the tension there. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’ve explored some things on my own a bit, but I don’t want that right now.”
“Do you ever find yourself wanting to be very naughty?”
How the heck did he know that?
“Yeah, sometimes I like to brat, even though no one else has ever stepped up to that challenge. Not since you. Is that weird?”
“No, babygirl. It’s not weird. You want to explore boundaries. There’s nothing wrong with finding limits and pushing against boundaries respectfully.”
Sam found a knot in my calf, and gently but firmly released it. I moaned. “Oh, god. Your hands are magical. Mmm. You’d be my Daddy… in the bedroom?”
“Everywhere.”
“That sounds exhausting,” I admitted, my voice soft. It was only because of his gentle ministrations that I quieted my sass otherwise I’d be tossing my brat at him again.
“You let me worry about what I can and can’t handle, all right?”
“So, you really want to be in a relationship? A dynamic?” I had to know what he really thought. The idea of finally getting my needs met scared me to the core. I knew without a doubt that I’d keep pushing until Sam responded.
“One thing that’s been bothering me first. Tell me something, babygirl. Why’d you write me a letter you never gave me a chance to read?”
I tugged my legs off his lap and shifted around so that I could climb into his lap, facing him. “What do you mean? I put it on your doorknob. I had to let you know how I felt, even though I didn’t say anything in person. But you never said anything. No, you just hauled me out of the bar over your shoulder like my words meant nothing.”
“I hadn’t gone home yet that night. By the time I arrived it was ripped to pieces. I thought you changed your mind,” he confessed. “I should have sought confirmation but…”
“Ripped? What do you mean?” Ice pitted in my stomach. “Someone tore my letter so you wouldn’t read it? Then how didyou know it was from me?” It raised a lot of questions, and I needed answers.
“I don’t know, babygirl. I taped it back together. I apologize for never seeking any clarification.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “I had a lot going on but that’s an excuse too.”
“So, you did read it? But at my Gran’s funeral you dragged Crystal with you as if it didn’t matter. I almost punched her.” I shook my head. It didn’t matter. Living in our pasts wouldn’t bring us together for the future.
“Give me a chance, Mickie. Let me show you how much I want to be with you now. Clean slate for both of us?”
I stared into his gorgeous blue eyes while trying to make sense of the tangled mess, but it wouldn’t solve anything. Finally, I kissed his lips once. “Clean slate. But I don’t know. Can we just get through the rest of this week? I have a lot of obligations, or at least things I can’t figure out how to navigate around at the moment. All I’ve been doing is tossing sass at you. Please,pleasegive me the benefit of the doubt.”
“All right, beautiful girl. But I’m serious about responding from here on out. If you poke me, you’ll get spanked. If I tell you to do something, or more likely not to do something and you ignore it? You’ll get punished. Will you consent to that?”
“I really don’t want to, because I know as soon as I do, I’ll wind up so fucking sore.” Kissing him again distracted me from the alarm bells ringing around in my brain. He was waiting for an answer. I took an extra minute to answer. “I’m not sure.”
“Yes, I’m sure you will be sore. Think of it as a trial dynamic. Do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it—obviously within the parameters of our boundaries which we will figure out as we go along.”
“All right, Sam.” I agreed somewhat reluctantly because I could already see the outcome. He was offering the relationship I’d always wanted with him, and I wasn’t a naive teenageranymore. No, this dynamic with Sam was about to be the best experience of my life at least I hoped. Something that would benefit both of us because he’d been searching for someone too.
“You can also call me Daddy if you’re comfortable doing so.”
Daddy.I let the title I’d thrown at him in jest swim around in my head and into my heart. Hadn’t he always been in that role for me even without the title? “Do you want me to call you Daddy all the time?”
“Whenever you want to.”
