“Not in front of other people,” I corrected.
“I’ve loved you forever. I don’t give one flying fuck what other people hear or think when it comes to us. If you want to call me Daddy, then you go ahead and do so.”
My heart soared while my brain desperately tried to build the walls back up. I’d been trapped in my life, miserable and away from everything I loved: my best friend, my hometown, Sam. I’d been delusional in my thinking that being away would give me independence. That moving four hours from home would somehow turn me into a functional adult when I had so many ways that I could have grown here and be supported at the same time.Ugh! I hadn’t learned anything other than how to make a budget stretch.
“My head and my heart are… are…” My sentence stuttered short, and I floundered, not knowing what to say.
“It’s all right, sweetheart. I’m going to show your head,” he said, tapping my forehead. “Then I’ll convince your heart,” he said, continuing downward to my chest and tapping it. “Since I’m pretty sure I’ve already convinced your pussy.” He gave a wicked grin and tapped my clit through my pants. His precision left me breathless.
“Hey! You shouldn’t be stroking those places.”
“I didn’t stroke. I tapped,” he said, chuckling.
“Semantics.” I glared but I wasn’t angry, no I was getting aroused and emotional from his speech. “One rule.”
“One rule.”
“Plus, I can call you Daddy if I feel like it.”
“Ah, sweetheart. No, not if you feel like it. Listen carefully, Mickie. I want you to call me Daddy because youfeelit.”
He pressed a kiss to my heart and I almost melted into a pile of goo right on his lap. “I feel something, Sam.”
“Mm. I bet you do. Remind me of your safeword, sweetheart.”
“Um, I haven’t used it in a while.” I tapped my brain thinking, then broke into a smile. “Ah! Tofu.”
“Gross. The thought of tofu makes me gag,” Sam said, shaking his head. “Do you remember the stoplight?”
“Oh, yes! Green for go. Yellow is to slow down. Red means stop, that also signals you to jump into care.”
“Yes, babygirl. Aftercare. It used to be cuddles, is that still something that helps you ground yourself again?”
“Yes, Sam,” I agreed. Though I hadn’t had aftercare in so so long. My few relationships had been lacking in more places than just the bedroom.
“Very good. Now. Does my girl want an orgasm?”
His girl.I loved and hated that idea. The gunk in my head and heart were currently arguing like a debate where both parties firmly believed they were correct. My head logically stated that I lived four hours away in a city I hated. My nine-to-five job paid the bills, but I wasn’t in it for the long haul. Answering phone calls from irate customers who hadn’t received their latest copy of:Best Served Cold: Revenge StoriesorSoups On: Naughty Recipesor any of the many trashy publications I covered, was mind-numbing. A week in this town would be refreshing on so many levels.
My heart emotionally reminded me that I had the support to move. That I didn’t need to live so far away. I supposed that none of that really mattered. Not when I just agreed to practice a dynamic with Sam. No matter what happened over the next few days, my inner self, the one who believed she was unworthy of having a Daddy, would never let him go. Not when he felt the same way after all this time.
“Sweetheart? Have you convinced yourself enough that you don’t want my mouth on your clit?”
His growly tone shot straight to my core. “I already know you can find it.”
“Mmmhmmm. It will help you relax more.”
“I’m pretty tired.”As soon as the words left my mouth, Sam’s eyes darkened. He probably saw the way I was pulling away, but I knew he’d never push me into anything without my full consent. Bigger than that I had the feeling that after I took a nap and woke up, I’d just flee. Because I shared too much. Because I was immature. Because the man of my dreams…no. Because I believed that I was not worthy of having the man of my dreams. It had been easy to love Sam, to imagine a life with him when he wasn’t in front of me. A dream I’d given up on when I’d walked away from him the night before my graduation. Now that he was in the flesh, the idea dragged all my insecurities to the surface. Fears I thought were long buried. I had to work on those before I could belong to anyone else, at least that’s the belief I fed myself.
Sam nodded as he looked at me, then assisted me to lay down. He pressed a kiss to my temple.
“Get some sleep then, beautiful. I’ll check on you in a little while.”
“Thanks, Sam.”
But as he tucked me into the couch and walked out of the living room, I knew that the plan in my head was closer to happening than not. I couldn’t let him see all my flaws. Thoughhe wouldn’t judge me, I did. And the fear of embarking into my dream life and pushing outside of my comfort zone was bigger than allowing myself the opportunity to fly.
Chapter Three
