Even now, lying here beside her, I still couldn’t.
“What are you thinking about?” Alina murmured, dragging one long, pointed nail down my spine.
I sat up and propped one of the tattered pillows behind my back. “About us.”
She shifted, mirroring me, her bare leg sliding against mine. Her eyes scanned my face, curious and unbothered. “You’re rather disturbing in your true form, by the way. It’s a sharp contrast to what you look like now.”
My gaze snagged on her necklace—moonstone and ruby, glinting softly in the dim light.
Zara’s necklace.
Fury ignited in my chest, hot and immediate. But I buried it. I kept my voice even, my expression untouched.
“Did it bother you?” I asked.
She shook her head, brushing her tangled hair from her face. “Not at all,” she said, her voice light.
“I found it a total turn-on.”
A faint frown tugged at her brows. “Except the maggots, maybe. That part was a little unexpected.” She paused, her eyes gleaming with dark amusement. “But the whole experience? Shockingly outrageous. I’m not opposed to doing it again.”
Then she smiled—small, shy, utterly wicked. It twisted my hunger into something deeper.
Alina was a contradiction in extremes. One moment, she surrendered to the abyss with unflinching hunger. The next, she was soft and vulnerable—like a schoolgirl whispering secrets under a blanket of night.
I ran my hand along her warm thigh. “I suppose it was always fated to be this way,” I murmured. “From the first time we met, I saw it in you. That fire. That defiance. You were wild, passionate… but unbreakable. Just like me. A sadistic little monster who doesn’t let anyone get in her way.”
I looked into her eyes. “I slaughtered your parents. And yet here you are—lying beside me.”
She didn’t flinch.
Instead, she tilted her head, curiosity glinting in her eyes. “Tell me more about the darkness,” she said softly.
My throat tightened.
“Your father was the first darkness,” I began. “He found me when I was young, feral, and full of rage—and shaped me into something worse. He taught me how to survive in a world that only ever took. He taught me how to thrive in the rot.”
I swallowed hard.
“He introduced me to depravity I couldn’t have imagined. Bent me to his will. I followed him faithfully… until the scars he gave me became my legacy.”
Alina was silent for a moment, eyes searching mine. Then she leaned in, her voice featherlight. “Do you have to kill to survive?”
I met her gaze, unwavering. “Yes,” I whispered. “I do.”
She didn’t recoil. Instead, her expression shifted into something unreadable—intrigued, maybe, and moved, even.
“He used to say he wanted to turn bad people into good ones. He talked about salvation, about redeeming monsters. He believed the world could only be saved by removing the rot. By hunting evil with evil.”
She frowned, confusion flickering across her features. “Then why train you—why train someone like you—to kill people just like yourself?”
I exhaled. “Because he believed fear was the most powerful teacher. That only a monster could understand another monster. He thought if we punished enough evil, it would stop. That blood could somehow balance the scales.”
Alina shook her head, lips curling with faint disdain. “I just don’t understand why he restricted it to the depraved. Why not let you kill whoever you please? We should be able to choose. That’s true power.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Nor did I. Believe me—it wasn’t easy. I am, admittedly, the most depraved of them all. But in the beginning, I was happy to do what Mathias asked. I wanted his approval. I craved it.”
I looked away, eyes hardening.
