I hadn’t even gotten to tell him the most important memory of all—the one where I remembered falling in love with him.
Chapter
Thirty-Six
BLAIRE
If I closed my eyes, the beeping could almost be a song I heard on the radio, the newest electronic mix. It could’ve been my heartbeat, keeping time with every memory I settled into now. It could’ve even been my alarm, reminding me I was late for work.
No matter what I tried to convince myself, I knew the reality. I stared down at Winder, lying in his hospital bed, monitors hooked up to every part of him.
“Hey, baby.” His voice was still raspy from disuse, but the emotions were there just the same.
I smiled, leaving my uncomfortable chair to stand next to his bedside. “Hey, you. How did you sleep?”
“As well as I could have, all things considered.” He struggled into a seated position, grimacing.
“Here, let me help.” I pulled the pillow out from behind his back, getting the bed set up so he could sit upright.
“Thanks.” He ran his gaze over me. “You look tired. Did you go home last night?”
“Yes, I slept. Don’t worry about me. Focus on yourself.”
When we arrived at the ER, the doctor told me it’d almost been too late. The bullet had gone through several organs, andafter he made it through surgery, it was anyone’s guess if he’d survive. I’d sat by his bed every day and every night until they kicked me out, waiting for them to wean him off the medication keeping him sedated.
The day he was off it completely, I barely breathed until his eyes fluttered open, immediately locking on me. I nearly fell down with the oxygen rushing into my lungs because of how grateful I was to see his beautiful, stormy eyes once more.
Winder narrowed his eyes. “Any more nightmares?”
“You know as well as I do there won’t be any more.” A small lie. My dreams were haunted by the memories of him bleeding out in front of me, but he didn’t need to know the specifics. Those fears would disappear once Winder was next to me in bed, at home, where he belonged. “The doctor told me you might be able to go home by the end of the week, if your progress keeps up.”
“He told me that, too, before you came back this morning.”
“Do you feel ready? I can talk to them if you think you need more time…”
He grabbed my hand, squeezing. “If they’d let me come home with you today, I would.”
“Okay, okay!” I squeezed back, our own language.I’m okay. I know.
I love you.
There was something to be said for love that found a way. For the dandelions growing in concrete, the lotus blooming in the mud. There was something special about the kind of love that blossomed in the dark, despite everything threatening their demise.
That was the kind of love between Winder and myself. The one that found a way, again and again, in this life, and the one before this, and the one after it as well.
We were the beauty that found its way in the dirt.
“The police chief came by to see me today,” Winder said interrupting my thoughts.
I perked up. “Did he? What did he say?”
He shrugged. “Shesaid the dirty cops have been taken care of, and they’re now investigating Conrad’s operation from the bottom up. I don’t know how much they’ll find, because I have to imagine most of them would’ve fled by now, but anything is better than nothing. They’re pretty confident there won’t be a trial against either of us.”
My dream journal ended up coming in handy more than either of us expected. The notes I’d made, while vague to me, helped break open cases dealing with Conrad that they’d been working on for a long time.
Conrad had been right, and not many people remembered me anymore. Funny how quickly the truth can evaporate from our minds. Those left hadn’t approached me because Conrad paid off the right people, and they all thought I was to blame. He effectively made me a pariah without me ever knowing. Not that he had much push back, since I hadn’t been a social creature even then. With no family, and no real friends to speak of, it was easy for him to wipe me off the map.
I wouldn’t ever be able to go back to the force even if I wanted to, but I wasn’t too worked up about it. I’d put my notice in with Harry, as well, feeling like a fresh start was in order. There was bound to be a shitstorm once the entire story got out, and I didn’t want to hurt the company any more than necessary. My savings were enough for the time being, and once I figured out what I wanted to do, I’d go from there. I hadn’t told Winder my plans yet, still trying to figure out how to put the words in order.
