But then I hear a sound I’ve never heard from him before.
Shaky. Raw.
I turn and fucking freeze.
Gio is sitting there with his legs pulled up, arms on his knees, head buried between them…crying.
Worse—he’s breaking.
Oh, no. "No no no no no no no—"
I sprint over, don’t think, just drop to my knees in front of him. "Baby—"
I reach out, heart pounding out of my fucking chest. "I’m here. I’m right here." He doesn’t look up. His whole body shakes.
I wrap my arms around him without even thinking. Pull him in, so tight. One hand on the back of his neck, the other cradling his ribs. "You’re okay," I whisper, voice cracking. "I got you, I got you—just let it out, baby, let it all out."
His fingers claw at my back. He gasps like he can’t get air in. I pull him even closer. Tighter than before. I kiss the top of his head, again and again.
I can’t even imagine how bad he has to feel to get to this point. "She’s gonna die," he chokes out. "I’m gonna lose her. Just like him."
I shake my head fast. "No—hey, look at me. Look at me, Gio." He doesn’t.
I cup his face. His cheeks are soaked. "You’renotlosing her. And even if shit gets bad, you are not going through it alone."
He shakes his head like a scared fucking kid. "I can’t do it again, Rava—"
"You won’t have to." I pull him in again.
Hold his head to my chest. "Just breathe. Breathe with me." I kiss the top of his head again, my lips trembling. "I know you’re scared. You’re totally allowed to be. But you’re not alone, baby. Your mom is not going anywhere. And I’m right here."
He lets out a shaky, broken sound, and my hands move automatically, stroking his hair, his back, his arms, anywhere I can touch.
"You don’t have to be strong right now," I whisper. "Not with me. You can fall apart. I’ll catch every piece." I kiss his temple again, again, again. "You’re safe. I’ve got you."
"Everyone leaves," he says, voice wrecked, barely there. "Slowly and fucking quietly. Trying not to wake me while they disappear."
My throat burns. He pulls back just a little, eyes red, lashes stuck together from crying so hard. Still not really looking at me.
"My dad…" He swallows. "Now her. She’s next. I know it. I fucking know it, Rava—"
"No." I cup his face before he can spiral deeper. "No, baby, stop—" He tries to pull away but I don’t let him.
"I can’t fucking do this again," he chokes. "I can’t watch someone I love die and still pretend I’m totally okay after. I’m fucking not. I haven’t been since him."
My heart cracks in half right there.
"You’re not pretending anymore," I say quietly, my thumbs brushing his cheeks. "You’re not alone in this. Not now. Not ever."
He shakes his head again, but this time softer. Like he wants to believe it. Like he needs to. "I’m so fucking tired, Rava," his voice comes out broken. I lean forward, press my forehead to his. "I’m here for you, Gio."
"No," he says. "No, you’re not here. Not really."
"What? Gio, I’m—"
He pulls back just enough to look at me. And fuck. His eyes. Shattered. "You’re leaving," he says. "Two weeks from now. You’re going back and I’ll be here again, with nothing."
I shake my head, trying to reach for him, but he pulls just a little further. He looks away again.
