"I’ve been inside you, I think I’ll survive seeing your chest."
I feel myself blush, even in the cool night air. I pull at the knot in my tie, slide it off with a nervous tug, then undo the top few buttons slowly, one at a time.
He still isn’t looking at me. But he hasn’t pulled away either. I open the little bag I brought and hand him the candy first. He stares at it, surprised. I’m trying to lighten the air.
I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.
Maybe I’m messing it all up. But I’m doing what I wish someone would do for me. Not force me to talk. Just be there and sit with me.
Make me feel a little better, even if it’s stupid or small or sugar-filled. That’s all I’m trying to do. Be that person for him.
"They’re your favorite, right?" I say, trying to sound casual. He nods once, and takes them without a word. I can tell he’s trying not to react. I don’t push. Just let the silence sit there a bit, then look around.
My eyes land on the old wooden part of the bridge behind us, and I start shifting, turning over my shoulder to look closer.
"What are you doing?" Gio asks, sounding tired but still curious.
"There," I point. "You guys carved your names here. You, Luigi, Elio." He leans a little, looking. I trace one of the marks with my finger. "And this? That was supposed to be mine."
He glances at me, confused. "What do you mean?"
"I started writing it once. I don’t know, I was what—eight? Nine?" I say. "You were here with your friends, and I followed. I tried to carve my name under yours. But you saw me and started throwing pebbles at my head like a menace."
I smile.
"I got so mad I ran after you for like ten minutes straight. Never finished it." And I laugh. Just from the memory.
Then, without meaning to, he laughs too. I look at him, kind of shocked. It’s the first sound I hear from him all day that isn’t full of sadness.
"You laughed," I say, grinning now. He rolls his eyes like he doesn’t mean to, but I catch it. I don’t say anything more. I just turn forward again, let our shoulders brush a little, and sit there with him.
I know he isn’t okay. Of course I know.
I’m not stupid.
And I’m not trying to pretend nothing happened. Not with his mom. Everyone’s gonna tell him how serious it is.
Doctors, nurses. They’ll all sit him down and say it out loud, clean and clinical:this is serious.
He doesn’t need me to add to that. So I thought that if I can just make him feel a little lighter for five minutes, if I can get one small smile out of him, then maybe I’m helping.
I stand up, brush off my pants, and stretch a little. "Wait here," I say, trying to sound casual. "I’m going on a very important mission."
He doesn’t answer, just raises an eyebrow.
I point toward the dirt under the swings. "I’m gonna find a sharp enough rock to finish carving my name. And maybe freshen up yours too, since I’msucha good person."
I see his mouth twitch a little. I step off the bridge and start poking around in the grass. I bend down, pick up a pebble, toss it. Too round.
Another one, too flat.
I mutter to myself the whole time like I’m doing surgery.
"This one’s a maybe," I say out loud, holding it up for inspection like a rare gem. "Nope. Disqualified."
Behind me, I hear the faintest sound. A soft little breath that might be a laugh. I don’t look back. Just grin to myself and keep looking.
If I can’t fix anything else right now, maybe I can at least give him a break. Something stupid. Something ours.
