He's so cute. I melt. Full fucking puddle. Right here on this towel. "Yeah, I was, ten, maybe? My mom made me write a list of names. And I actually wrote yours. First." I pause, then grin. "And then I panicked and erased it."
His jaw drops. "Gio!"
"I panicked!" I say, raising my hands like I'm still defending ten-year-old me. "You were the stupidly smart kid. Quiet. Always reading. And I was this loud little shit with grass stains on my knees and dirt under my nails that wouldn't stop making fun of you. I thoughtno way he'd wanna come to my party. He's not that stupid."
Rava shakes his head in disbelief. "I would've gone, you idiot." I smirk. "Yeah, and I would've stared at you the whole time like a creep."
"You already did," he fires back, grinning. "I know," I say, softer now. "I always did." And in that moment, I'm ten again. And he's still that boy I couldn't stop watching.
And now, all these years later, he's here. "I have something for you," I say, reaching into my bag again. "I want you to take it with you. It's a little gift." He looks at me, confused but curious.
I pull out the notebook, a bit worn out around the edges. Literally my darkest secrets are now in his hands. I hand it to him carefully. He takes it but he looks hesitant.
"What is this?" he asks, eyebrows raising. "Is it full of all the insults you used to throw at me when we were kids?"
I laugh. "No. Though honestly, that would've been kind of cute." He looks at it again, then me. "Can I open it?"
"Nope." I shake my head fast. "Don't open it here. I want you to read it in Canada. I swear, if you open it in front of me, I'll evaporate. I'll vanish into the fucking ocean. It'll ruin my entire reputation."
He laughs, hugging it to his chest. "I'm scared now."
"You should be," I say, nudging him. "Let's just say that…you weren't the only one who used to keep a journal back in the day." His head snaps toward me, fast.
I'll have to check on his neck later.
"WHAT?! Gio Fontana kept a journal?!"
"I'm human too!" I protest. "I'm a soft little creature deep down. A good little guy. Stop acting like you didn't know!"
He's dying laughing now. "No no. I love this. You mean to tell me that while you were out being a menace on the playground, you were going home to—what? Write about your feelings?!"
"Feelings. Thoughts. Dreams. Vivid sexual fantasies about a certain someone. You know. Normal stuff."
He chokes. "Stop it right now."
I just smirk, stretching my arms behind my head, pretending to be casual while my heart is literally vibrating inside my chest. Because yeah, I gave him a piece of me. A big one.
And I want him to keep it safe over there.
Until I can get it back.
44) Don’t Forget Me
Gio
I pull Rava closer, right between my legs, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. His back fits so perfectly against my chest, it's ridiculous.
I rest my head in the space between his neck and shoulder. I press a soft kiss there, and then I do it again and again. He smells so good I could get drunk off it. "Hey… remind me tomorrow to give you the bracelet. I did it! I actually made it. While you were getting ready for the fair earlier." I murmur.
He turns his head to see me, smiling relieved. "You did?" he says. I nod, still against his neck. He laughs softly.
I can't let him go. I can't. I'd do anything. I'd crawl through fire if it meant he'd stay. I'd go back and fix every single thing I ever fucked up just to be good enough for him.
I wantyearswith him. Not just nights. Not stolen time.
I want Christmas mornings. Him half-asleep in one of my oversized shirts, decorating a crooked little tree in our livingroom with the lights tangled around his legs and stupid holiday playlists.
I want to see him sick and grumpy with a cold, bundled up in our bed, while I force him to drink gross tea, and he tells me I'm being dramatic while secretly loving it.
