“No, I’m sorry,” he whispered.“I am so, so sorry.Pleaseforgive me, Jedda.Please.”
When she didn’t say anything, he knew, and the dull achethatcompressed inhis chest became the most horrifictorture he’d ever endured.
She didn’t forgive him.But maybe that was for the best.Itwould make leaving her so much easier.
ChapterThirteen
Razr wouldn’t let Jedda tend to his wounds.She’dwatched him suffer, bleed, and withdraw into himself as she held him in herarms, unable to give him the one comfort he’d asked for.
Her forgiveness.
It wasn’t that she didn’t forgive him for making her hurthim.There was nothingtoforgive.She’d done what she had to do, evenasshe hated him for it.Hatedherselfforit.
Because ultimately, it was her fault he was going throughthis torment in the first place.
Jedda couldn’t let this go on.She couldn’t let Razr livethe rest of his life like this.
She had to give up his gem.
The moment they were done with Shrike––assuming theysurvived the meeting––she’d scour the human and demon realms for a gemstonemore powerful than the Enoch gem, and if she couldn’t find one, maybeAzagothwould be willing to do what needed to be done toher.
She’d die, but Razr would no longer live a life ofsuffering.Suffering that she was directly responsible for.If she hadn’tstolen his gem, he wouldn’t be in this mess.
Rain pelted the window she’d been staring out of forhours,her gaze fixed on Shrike’s minions.The soaking-wetdemons lurked on the sidewalk, their beady eyes as dead as she felt on theinside.On the outside, she looked the way shefelt:exhausted and bruised, a result, she thought, of Shrike’s Lothar curse.Thelast time she’d checked herself in the mirror, she’d been shocked at how gauntshe looked, and even now when she glanced down at her arms, her breath caughtat the purple bruises spreading under skin that had grown dull and grayish.
She and Razr were quite the pair, weren’t they?
Footsteps pounded in the hallway, and her stomach turnedover even as her heart fluttered.She was an emotional disaster, somethingshe’d never been.Probably because she’d never had strong feelings about anymale, let alone one who needed things she couldn’t give him.Because one thingwas certain: she could never,ever, hurt Razr again.Nor could shewatch it.Or even know it was happening.
She’d always thought she was strong, but the events of theday had proven that she was nothing of the sort.
“Jedda?”
She couldn’t even look at him.Her shame had tied her inknots she wasn’t sure would ever be untangled.“What?”
“I think we can kill Shrike.”
Shame took a backseat to surprise, and she finally glancedup.Razr looked like hell, his expression bleak, his eyes haunted.Gods, she’dhurt him so badly, hadn’t she?
“What do you mean?How?”
“My powers are bound, but the Enochgem’saren’t.Through the bond we share, I can access it.”
Her heart gave an excited thump.Her world might be shitright now, but this was good news.Shrike had cursed her to growing misery, andalthough she hadn’t told Razr, she could feel the crushing pressure of it evennow.The moment they’d come back to the earthly realm from theelvenone, she’d experienced a painful squeezing sensation,one that made her skin feel like shrink-wrap.She could only imagine how muchworse it would get over the course of the next couple weeks.
“What kind of power are we talking about?”
“A concussive blast that will blow apart any demon ittouches, including fallen angels.”He gestured toward the door.“We’ll tell hisbuddies out there that we have what he wants and we’re ready to go.”
“They’ll want proof.”
“We have the crystal horn.That’ll get us inside thecastle.”
As far as suicidal propositions went, this was a good one.“And afterward?Assuming we survive?”
“Then you come back here and resume your life.I’ll returntoSheoul-graand pretend to keep looking for theGems of Enoch.No onehas toknow I found them.Youand your sister will be safe.”
It was how it had to be and she knew it.At least, it washow it had to be until she found a replacement gem or died trying.
