“My pocket,” he rasped.“In my pocket.”
Quickly, she fumbled around in his jacket and pulled out thecat-o’-nines.Which shepromptly dropped on the floorwith a hiss.
“You can’t be serious.I can’t, Razr.I can’t.Please don’tmake me do it.”
He inhaled, riding a relatively mild wave of pain as hestraightened.“Youhave to.If we can’t leave, youneedto.”
Her facecontortedin misery.“Idon’t want to hurt you.”
He hooked a finger under her chin, lifting her gaze to his,hating that this was hurting her.His pain didn’t matter.It was hers that wastearing him apart right now.
“I’m used to it.”He struggled to talk through fierce stabof pain.“And I heal fast.You’ve seen it.”
“I’ve also seen you pass out.And I saw how you looked justbefore you did.”She turned away, her breaths coming in panicked wheezes.“Ican’t.”
His skin was starting to blister, and inside his body, afirestorm of agony ripped through him as his bones began to fracture withaudible cracks.
“You can do it lightly,” he said, desperately trying to keephis voice level so she wouldn’t know how much this was making him want toscream.
Except that he was silent inhis pain.He always had been.Keep it inside, his father used to say after aharsh training session.Which was all of them.One of the hazards of being bornto two high-ranking, militant battle angels who expected their offspring to godown as legends, he supposed.
They’d beenpretty disappointedinhim, given the wholefuck up an elite team and lose all their magicgemstonesthing.They hadn’t even visited him in prison.Not once.
Jedda shook her head.Her entire body trembled and dammit,he couldn’t make her do this.
“Okay,” he croaked.“Get one of Shrike’s guys in here.”Something inside him popped, and he stumbled, catching himself on the fireplacemantel.“Hurry.”
“I’m not letting some psycho stranger hurt you!”
He coughed, spewing blood.She cursed, came around him, andstripped off his shirt.She tossed it to the floor and started on his pants,which he would have enjoyed if he wasn’t in agony and she wasn’t about totorture him.
Something else inside him snapped––a rib, he thought, as hedropped to his knees.Shit, he was in so much pain right now that the cat inJedda’s hand would feel more like a loving stroke than a vicious rake.
“Listen to me.”He coughed up more blood.“Any second now,an angel will pop in her to administer the blows.They’ll kill you.Youhave todo thisnow.”
She hesitated, and he had to clench his teeth to keep fromscreaming at her to get on with it.But then the straps came down on his backso lightly he would have laughed if he’d had the breath to do it.It hurt, butwhatpainedhim more was the cry that tore from her atthe sound of the leather striking his flesh.He was so preoccupied by themisery he’d caused her that he almost didn’t notice that all his other painunrelated to the cat-o’-nine was gone now that thepunishment was being executed.
He sagged in relief.“Again, Jedda.Five more.”His voicewas as shredded as his back was going to be.
“No,” she whispered, her agony thickening the air, but amoment later she slapped the cat across his back.The blow was gentle, whichsomehow made it even worse.She was trying so hard not to hurt him.
“Again.”
“I hate you for this,” she cried out as she brought thestraps down.
He hated himself, too.But it would never happen again.Oncethey took down Shrike, he’d take his sorry ass back toSheoul-graand let her have a normal life.One where she didn’t have to hurt him or seehim hurt.
One where he didn’t have to watch herbehurt.
“Again, Jedda.Harder.The more painful it is, the more timeI get between sessions.”Usually.Sometimes the intervals were utterly random,as far as he could tell.
“No.I––”
“Do it!”he shouted.He needed her to be harsh.Make ithurt.Give him more time.And if he had to piss her off to get it, he would.“Dammit, Jedda, fucking hit me!”
She did, a little harder.But barely.Then again.Her cry ofpain tore through him, reaching all the way to his soul, and when she struckagain, for the first time in his life, he screamed.Screamed not for himselfand his shredded back.He screamed for her, for hurting her so deeply.
“Oh, gods, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed, hitting the floor infront of him to gather him in her arms.He clutched her close as thetinkof tiny diamond tears hitting the floorplayedlike background music.
