“It isn’t because she loveshim,” Arabella said.
He blinked, those words sinking past his shock. He opened and closed his mouth. “She is considering it to—to protect me?”
She nodded. “She knows what you lost in all this. She sees you as the victim and she isn’t wrong. But she’s too much like me. We learned to protect those we loved in the horrible house we grew up in, even to our own detriment.”
“How would her going back to Southwater protect me?” he choked out.
“I was under the impression that she believes you must still have feelings for your wife to have held on to your hurt and betrayal so long.” He turned his head as if this diminutive woman had struck him, but she didn’t stop. “If she could give you back what you wanted, or at least ease the humiliation of it, she would sacrifice herself for you.”
His mouth fell open. “Wh-why?”
“Why do you think, you great oaf?”
“Arabella…” he whispered, his heart beginning to pound. She was talking about something more than an affair or a friendship or a careless arrangement meant to be temporary.
She was talking about love. And once again his knees went weak at the idea that Evelina could love him this much despite all his flaws and mistakes.
“If you don’t love her, if you could never love her as she deserves to be loved, you must stop this. You mustn’t let her give herself away to one man who doesn’t give a damn about her in order to save yourself when you care just as little.” Arabella stepped closer. “But if you do love her…if what I see when you’re near her is real…then you must stop her from ending any chance she has at happiness. Any chanceyouhave.”
The world continued to tilt. Evelina loved him. She loved him. He wanted to shout out triumph into the darkness outside. He wanted to pluck down the stars and howl at the moon with the pride that realization created.
But he didn’t have her yet. He hadn’t won her, he certainly hadn’t come to her rescue.
“Is she at your home?” he asked.
She nodded. “She is.”
“Then I’ll follow you back, I’ll go right now, I’ll?—”
“You won’t,” Arabella interrupted. “Because she was sleeping at last when I left and leaving her more exhausted than ever is no way to face her and have this out.”
He took a shaky breath. “Very well. I won’t push.” He looked her up and down. “I’m surprised Windham let you go screeching out into the night to confront me.”
She smirked. “Silas knows better than to stand between me and the happiness of my sisters. And I suppose he thinks you a decent man, which is high praise, indeed.”
“It is,” he said, and meant it. “I’m not sure I’ve earned it, though I’ll endeavor to try. When does she meet with him?”
“Tomorrow,” she said. “At ten, for it seems he cannot even give her twenty-four hours to think before he demands she answer. She has listened to our concerns and she might refuse him but?—”
“I’ll go to her home and speak to her,” he promised. “I won’t let her do anything to hurt herself. Not for me.”
Arabella nodded. “Good. Good.” She pivoted and started for his door. There she stopped and turned back. “What will you do? Just so I’m prepared for whether I’ll have a joyful or broken-hearted sister after tomorrow.”
He took in a shaky breath. “Arabella, I like you. I think once you stop hating me on her behalf that you’ll like me too. But you aren’t going to be the first person I say those words to.”
Her expression softened and she smiled just slightly. “Goodnight, Blackburn.”
“Goodnight, Arabella.”
She left and he moved to the window to watch her carriage depart. His heart throbbed as he stared out into the darkness. He hadn’t said the words to Arabella, but they were there, sitting firmly in his heart. They defined a feeling that had begun to grow from the first moment he spoke to Evelina. From the first moment he touched her hand and felt the spark of a connection that had only grown.
He loved her.
It was shocking to know that, to feel it so strongly and without a doubt. He thought he’d felt love before. He’d tried so hard to cultivate it with Florence over their years together, to make it fit into spaces where it most certainly didn’t belong and wasn’t welcome.
But there was notryingwith Evie. He walked into a room and her warmth surrounded him. He found himself drawn to her smile and her laugh. When she hurt, he ached for her. Whenhehurt, he wanted no one but her at his side to face his demons with him. He loved to dance with her and make love to her and read with her and walk with her. There was no space in his life where he didn’t picture her.
The idea that she might sacrifice herself to give him something she believed he wanted fit perfectly into the wonderful, selfless person she was. And the idea that she would do so cut through his heart like a sword wielded by an expert knight.
