The song ended and she left the dancefloor with Sir William, the pair returning back to his wife. Lily spoke to them for a moment, smiling and nodding at everything that was said. When she slipped away from them, they exchanged a smile, spoke together a moment. George’s chest ached and a horrible, prodding thought entered his mind:
She would have made the perfect viscountess. And later the most wonderful countess.
He pursed his lips and forced himself to look for Miss Westinghouse. No, Alice. He was trying very hard to begin thinking about her as Alice. Referring to her as Alice.
She was standing with a few of the tenants. Like her sister, she seemed fully engaged with them but there was little of the warmth and connection there. Not that it was her fault. She hadn’t much experience with such things. Alice was very young.
That fact gave him no pleasure. They had so little in common.
“Fuck,” he muttered, and crossed to the terrace doors to get some air. He would take a break, he would refocus just as he and Lily had sworn they would continue to do. Eventually this…this infatuation with her would pass. He would make it be so.
He exited onto the broad, stone terrace that wrapped around a good portion of the back of the house. Drawing in a deep breath of the cool night air, he walked around to a shadowy corner where he might have a moment’s privacy even if someone else came outside.
He leaned on the stone edge of the terrace wall and looked out at the garden. A few ornamental lamps had been lit so that the pathways were visible to guests and as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw that just below the terrace, right at the entrance to the garden, Lily was now standing beside one of those lamps. She must have slipped from the ballroom while he was distracted. She wasn’t alone. Her stepmother stood with her and the two women seemed to be involved in an intense conversation.
He strained to hear, but the air didn’t carry the words up to him. He was going to turn away, stop involving himself in Lily’s life, when suddenly Lady Westinghouse stepped up to her, extended a finger and poked Lily’s chest hard.
“If…ruin…pay.” The harsh, broken sound of the words carried, and though he didn’t know exactly what had been said, the intent was clear.
Lily said something soft back to her and Lady Westinghouse pivoted away and stormed to the stairs. She rushed past George’s hiding place without even noticing him there and hustled back into the ball.
When he looked down at Lily again, she stomped one foot a few times and let out a gasping cry of frustration and anger that was clearly not meant for anyone else to hear. Once again, he knew what he should do. He should go back inside, dance with his fiancée, forget he’d spied on something that was none of his affair.
And once again, he did the opposite because he couldn’t seem to resist this woman. He made his way to the stairs and came down into the garden.
“Lily?” he called out softly.
She had her back to him and she pivoted toward him, eyes wide and voice shaking when she said, “Lockhart?”
“Yes.” He stepped closer, watching how her hands fluttered at her sides when he did. Watching how her pupils dilated ever so slightly when he came close enough to observe every twitch of her mouth and sound of her breath. “Are you well?”
“Of course. Why would I not be?” Her voice broke a little and she folded her arms like a shield before her.
He didn’t believe her, he wouldn’t have even if he hadn’t spied on her a moment before. He realized she had a sound to her voice when she was strained. A little lilt that was almost imperceptible and yet he perceived it. Even if he shouldn’t.
“I saw you with your stepmother,” he said. “The interaction seemed unpleasant.”
At that, her shoulders loosened and rolled forward and she looked up at the stars with a long, exhausted sigh. “Damn. Well, I’m embarrassed you’d see such an exchange. Did you hear it, as well?”
He shook his head. “Just a few broken words. It was obvious she was angry with you. I know your relationship is fraught, but what is it that upsets her so much?”
Lily looked at him a long moment and he could see her fighting whether or not she should offer him such an intimate glimpse into her life. They both knew the answer, and yet she didn’t seem to be able to fight this pull any more than he did. Was that good or bad?
She walked toward the fountain a few feet from the lamp where they’d been standing and watched for a moment while the little marble cupid poured water from a jug into the larger fountain base. “I was only ten when my mother died. It was so sudden and so awful.”
“How?” he asked gently. He shifted because the idea of the loss of a mother was very sharp to him at present. But to lose her as a child…that was heartbreaking.
She glanced at him. “She caught a fever and she faded so quickly. I was very close to her, I adored her and it broke my heart. My father hardly waited out the expected mourning period before he remarried. Prudence was only ten years my senior and I realize now she was already pregnant with Alice when they married.”
“That must have hurt you.”
“It was very confusing in the midst of all my grief. And she didn’t make it easier. She wanted her viscount, her title, but she didn’t want a child who reminded her that there had been another lady in her place before, that the hurried nature of their union had caused a minor scandal. She treated me like an afterthought and my father, sadly, followed suit. I was very lonely until Alice was born. And then I fell in love with her.”
He smiled. “A living doll.”
“At first, yes,” she said. “I even dressed her in my dolly clothes until she got too big. But eventually it became clear Prudence wasn’t all that interested in being a mother. She had no warmth when it came to Alice any more than she did with me and left her to the care of servants. Not all that uncommon, I suppose, of women of her station, but I could see Alice wanted more affection. So I gave it. Alice used to playfully call me Little Mama. Until Prudence found out.” Her voice got far away like she was reliving that moment. “She wassoangry.”
He shook his head, anger on her behalf rising sharp and strong in his chest. “I’m so sorry, Lily. For both of you. But why does she continue to harangue you now?”
