Esme was already rushing forward and she wrapped her arms around Jane for a hard hug. “Gracious, don’t get formal on me now! You know you’re always welcome here, dearest.” She glanced toward Ripley. “Campbell.”
He smiled despite the worry he felt for Jane. Esme had always cheekily called him Campbell as often as she did Ripley. Probably because it had always shocked those around him.
“Es,” he said, and then turned toward the earls and Lady Ramsbury. “My lords. Lady Ramsbury.”
He was greeted in a friendly enough way even though he noted that Delacourt stared from Jane to him and back again. Ripley liked Delacourt. He was sharp and direct, and he protected Esme with his whole heart. The same way Ripley wished to do with Jane.
Because that’s what love was.
“You’re pale,” Esme said, pushing a lock of hair from Jane’s forehead. “What is it?”
Jane glanced over her shoulder at Ripley and then at the rest of the room. “I-I need a moment with you. May we speak privately?”
“Of course.” Esme wrapped an arm around her and tucked Jane into her side. Ripley could see Jane sag a little against her and he was glad she had support with Esme as much as with him. She needed all she could get. “We’ll be back.”
The two women left the room and Ripley let his breath out at last. Delacourt looked troubled as he watched the open door where they’d left. “Is Jane well?”
“No,” Ripley said softly because now that he didn’t have to put all his strength into her, he felt the full weight of his fears and heartbreak on her behalf.
Everyone in the room stared at him. And he knew in that moment that all his love for Jane was on his face. He couldn’t hide it. He feared he’d never be able to hide it again.
Ramsbury squeezed his wife’s hand and moved to pour Ripley a drink while Delacourt came to stand by him. The earl met his eyes, held there and there was only kindness and understanding within that focused expression. “Well, we will do anything we can to help her.”
Ripley was glad he didn’t ask for details. The ones about Jane’s sister weren’t his to share and his own feelings were too painful to name. He nodded. “Yes. Anything.”
Because he would do anything for her. Even break his own heart.
Esme and Jane sat in front of the fire in Esme’s massive library. Her friend hadn’t stopped holding both her hands the entire time Jane had been confessing everything that had happened in the past few weeks. When she was finished, when she finally drew a shaky breath, Esme squeezed those hands gently.
“Oh, Jane. Why didn’t you come to me at the beginning of all this?”
“And drag you back into the turmoil of my life? Of what and who I am?” Jane sighed.
“There is no dragging?—”
“You got out, Esme,” Jane interrupted. “You’ve made yourself the life you always belonged in, the life you deserve more than anyone in the world. I can’t haul you back into the mud with me. I dragged poor Ripley into this and ruined him already.”
“You haven’t ruined Ripley.”
Jane shut her eyes. “I’ve hauled him all over the countryside, exposed him to all my problems.”
She could feel Esme’s stare burning through her closed lids. “He’s in love with you, Jane.”
Jane flinched. There it was, said out loud, harder to shove aside than when the knowledge of it was just a refrain in her head every time he looked at her.
“I know,” she whispered. “I know he is.”
“When you love someone, their mud is your mud. And it’s worth getting down in it, worth fighting to come out of it together. I’d rather be covered in mud next to Finn than clean without him.”
Jane stared at her friend. Esme had fled the life of a lady, run from a dangerous fiend who threatened her. She’d fit herself into Jane’s world, but in truth she’d never really belonged there. When Delacourt appeared, it had been evident that she would be loved. And Jane knew from personal experience that no one loved as fiercely and loyally as Esme did in return.
“But I’m not you,” she said. “I can’t offer him anything of value.”
“Except your beautiful, strong, loving heart.” Esme cupped her cheeks. “Which is worth all the rubies and diamonds and pearls in this silly kingdom.”
“Well, now you’re just being ridiculous,” Jane said, and smiled despite herself. “Ripley is a situation I cannot even think about right now. Not until I find Nora. Will you help me?”
Esme nodded. “Of course. Though I do wonder why you also kept your sister a secret from me all the years we lived together.”
