It was a funny thing to hate a desk. But as Darrius sat at the desk in his brother’s…no, his townhouse, he did despise it. It was the desk of the viscount, the study of the viscount. It had been his layabout grandfather’s and his cheating father’s and his grasping brother’s. And now it fell to him and it felt like a weight around his neck, just as the rest of the duties did. Just as the grief did.
“A caller, my lord,” said the servant who lightly tapped at his door, a black armband around his bicep.
Darrius rubbed his eyes. “More creditors?”
“No, sir. Mr. Norfolk and Miss Gardner.”
He jerked his head up. Benedict had come every day since their return, quietly taking duties from his desk when they became overwhelming, offering gentle advice and quiet support. Darrius knew he’d pushed him away with his gruffness. But yet he was here. And so was Vanessa. Vanessa, who he dreamed of every night and longed for every day.
“Let Norfolk bring her,” he said. “And do not disturb us.”
The servant inclined his head and slipped away. Darrius knew he only had a few moments to compose himself. It wasn’t that big of a house. He got to his feet and smoothed his jacket reflexively. And when the door to the study opened, he forgot everything but the two people who walked in.
Vanessa wore a dark blue gown that brought out the warmth of her cheeks and the beauty of her eyes. Eyes that met his with kindness and hope and all the welcome he could ever desire in this cold world. Benedict had her arm but when he saw Darrius, his gaze moved over him in a long sweep.
“Darrius,” Vanessa said softly, and she came to him in a few long strides.
He should have backed away, but he couldn’t. Instead, he rested his forehead on her shoulder as her arms came around him, hands smoothing his back. There was peace here, in this woman’s embrace. And he breathed her in for a moment before he remembered himself.
“I can’t,” he whispered, and turned away, going back behind the desk as if the barrier could protect him.
“Why?” she asked. There was no judgment in her tone, no anger, only kindness, gentleness. Understanding he had sought his whole life and only found in Benedict.
“I cannot express the mess I’m in,” he said.
Benedict moved forward now, and he stood on the other side of the desk and rested his hands on the surface. “Tell it, Darrius.”
His breath exited his lungs in a long, shuddering sigh. The dam was going to break, it seemed. There was no stopping it.
“Debts, debts, all the debts,” he said. “I do not think I’ve begun to find the half of them. There are women across London and half the countryside who have been misused by him. The servants in two estates are ready to revolt because of unpaid wages. And the word of his disgusting behavior with you, Vanessa, has spread, as well as the shocking details of his wagers on the carriage race he died in. Apparently, he also cheated in the race. He tried to run someone else off the road to win and that was what caused the accident.”
Now that he’d said it all, he sank down in the chair and covered his face. “It will take me years to dig out of this disaster, if I ever can. So…so…” He struggled with what he had to say next. For their sakes. “You should be together away from this trouble. And leave me to it.”
There was silence in the room for what felt like an eternity and then Benedict pushed at his hands, forcing him to lower them from his face. “No,” he said, slowly and succinctly and with enough power that Darrius felt it in his bones.
“Fucking hell, Benedict,” he grunted, and tried to get up, but Benedict pushed him back into the chair by the shoulders, even as he still loomed over the desk between them.
“No! I’ve given you far more than enough space in my life. I’m not abandoning you anymore.”
“It’s not abandonment,” Darrius tried to argue.
“It is,” Vanessa snapped. “And I will not leave you either. Look at me, Darrius.”
He forced himself to do so and felt her light sink into him yet again. The light that he couldn’t have for much longer.
“We won’t be whole without each other,” she said. Not whispered, not begged, said it, like it was so easy. Like she was so certain. And she was even more certain when she continued, “I love you, Darrius Warwick.” She didn’t let that stunning admission sink in before she added, “And I’m in love with him.”
She motioned to Benedict, who smiled. He seemed less surprised by the admission than Darrius felt. “And I am also in love with you, you unbearable arse,” Benedict said. “Even though you try very hard to make me stop. I love you with all my soul and heart. And I love her with everything in my being.”
A tear slid down Vanessa’s cheek and she wiped it away with a smile. Darrius felt the world tipping and he pushed to his feet, staggering away from them. “Don’t do this. Not today. Not now when I can barely stay upright as it is.”
Benedict came around the desk then and caught his lapels, tugging him closer. “Then don’t stay upright. Let us keep you upright.”
Vanessa joined them and slid her arms around his waist, staring up at him. “Don’t do this alone. You know you need us.”
His knees felt weak as he stared at them, these two angels who had come into his life and made him believe, in the moments he had allowed it, that he could be happy. That he could have value beyond what he provided. That he could let go and never become what his family had become. That he could be loved and love with such a power that it took his breath away.
“I don’t know,” he whispered.
