Valaria hugged her as response and sighed. “I know. I hated it when I was right for myself, too. So what will you do?”
“I’ll go to him. Even though I made a very big scene out of ending things last night. I’ll go back and I’ll…I’ll try.”
“Then you’ll already have done more than most in our acquaintance and I shall be endlessly proud of you. Valaria released her and smiled. “Would you like to have breakfast with me first? Despite my storming into your home and demanding you look at your life?”
“I want to have breakfast with you because you are the kind of friend who would do just that,” Bernadette said with a laugh. “But only after you help me pick a dress to wear when I see him.”
“That, I can do,” Valaria said, and took her hand as they moved toward the dressing room where her gowns were hung. Where she would choose the armor she wore when she decided if she would declare her wildly beating heart to Theo and risk everything in the process.
CHAPTER20
Theo strode into the foyer, shedding his coat and hat as he did so. The warmth of the house helped his frigid body, but a brisk walk in the park had not done what he’d hoped, which was clear his head. No, he was still spinning, uncertain, obsessed with thoughts of Bernadette. He had to come up with a game plan of how to approach her next. A letter, he thought, but he had no idea how to write anything without spilling out everything in his heart and potentially overwhelming her.
Kimball rushed to take his things, though he kept glancing down the hallway as he did so. Theo sighed. “What is it, Kimball? I can see you are barely containing yourself.”
Kimball bent his head. “My apologies, Your Grace. The Duchess of Tunbridge is waiting for you in your study.”
Theo had been holding his gloves in his hand and they slipped to the ground with a swish. “I-I must have heard that incorrectly. Did you say that Etta is here?”
“She is, Your Grace. She has been for about…” Kimball glanced at the clock in the hall. “Half an hour? She insisted on waiting for you in the study and I could not change her mind. I hope that is fine.”
“It’s…it’s fine,” Theo said, shaking his head. “Why would she come here unannounced? Why wouldn’t she send word?”
Kimball blinked. “I…I don’t know, sir.”
Theo stared at him. He hadn’t actually been asking the questions of the servant, more to himself, but he drew in a sharp breath. “What was her demeanor like?”
Kimball looked like a startled animal now. “I, er, she was kind, as always. Perhaps a little distracted. She refused tea. I’m sorry, Your Grace, I don’t understand the question.”
“My apologies,” Theo said. “I am being unfair. I will join the duchess in my study. We aren’t to be disturbed unless I ring.”
“Of course.” Kimball exited the foyer to take care of Theo’s outer clothing and that left him to stare down the hallway toward his study. Why had she asked to be placed there? It was a place where he did his business—they had never met there. But perhaps that was why she’d chosen it. She didn’t want to think about what they’d done in the parlor. Or his bedroom. Or once against the wall outside the bedroom when they couldn’t wait.
But that still didn’t explain why she was here at all when she had been so clear that she wished to end things between them.
His heart raced and he forced himself to move. “Only one way to find out.”
He made it to the study in what had to be the fastest time in his thirty-one years of residence in this house, but once there he stood at the closed door, drawing in a long breath. He knew, down in his soul, down to his bones, that whatever happened tonight would change the course of his life.
And he hoped he wouldn’t fail at it. Fail at her.
He opened the door. She was sitting at his desk. Not in the seat usually reserved for visitors, but in his actual chair, and he lost his breath yet again. She looked like she belonged here. She always did.
She pushed to her feet, a bright blush tinging her face tomato red, and swiftly staggered around toward him. “M-my apologies,” she stammered. “I ought not have sat there.”
He wrinkled his brow as he fully entered the room and closed the door behind him. “Not at all. You may make yourself at home in any room in my house, Etta. Always. Forever.” He shook his head and gripped his hands behind his back so he wouldn’t reach for her. “I didn’t think I’d see you today. Or perhaps at all for a while.”
“I know,” she said with a shake of her head. “I made such a fuss out of leaving here last night. And I should have sent word. I should have left when you weren’t in residence.” She shifted. “Why weren’t you home?”
He cleared his throat. “I walked to the park. I-I needed the brisk air to clear my head.”
She nodded. “Yes. Did it work?”
“No.” He laughed. “It didn’t. God, I can’t believe you’re here. Do you want tea? Or bourbon?”
She glanced at the sideboard and he noticed there was already an empty glass there, set aside from the others. “I had a bourbon,” she whispered.
They stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime and then he motioned to the chairs by the window. “Why don’t we sit?”
