CHAPTER19
Bernadette lay in her bed the next morning, staring at the ceiling, just as she had been doing since three that morning. Her mind wouldn’t let her sleep—it kept bringing her back to images of Theo the night before. When she’d made love to him, truly savoring his body and all the ways she could give him pleasure, it had been magical.
And when she’d ended things, she had thought his pain was real. And perhaps it was, in some way. She knew he did truly feel guilty for what he’d said to her father all those years ago. He didn’t want to hurt her, of that she was certain. And that made him reach for things he didn’t want. Couldn’t want.
In a few days, he would forget his promises to continue his pursuit until she let him explain himself to her. In a few weeks, he would forget the chase of her entirely. And perhaps in a few months, they could just pretend none of this had happened and sit at a supper table together without her feelings making her scream inside.
At least she hoped so.
She grabbed for a pillow and flopped it over her face just as there was a light knock on her chamber door. She pushed the pillow away. “What is it?”
Molly entered the room slowly. “I’m sorry to come in so early, Your Grace, but you have a visitor.”
“At this hour?” she asked, sitting up, heart leaping because she some part of her hoped itwasTheo come here to demand she see him. To tell her…what? What did she want him to tell her? She drew a breath to calm herself. “Who is it?”
“The Duchess of Blackvale,” Molly said.
Bernadette flew from the bed at that unexpected news. “Valaria?” she gasped out. “She and the duke are not to be home for a few days now. Is she well?”
“She seems well,” Molly said. “She just demanded to see you.”
“Fetch me my dressing gown, won’t you?” Bernadette said, motioning for the dressing room where it hung. When her maid left, she looked down at her shaking hands. She had no idea why Valaria would be here, but she hoped she’d be able to crush her own heartbreak down to support her friend.
Molly returned. “Shall I tell her you’ll join her in a while?”
Bernadette slung the robe over her shoulders and tied the sash. “If she came all the way here so early in the day, she must have a good reason. And I doubt she’ll want to wait and I’ll drive myself mad even if she does. Ask her to join me here. And tell Waterstone that the duchess may be joining us for an early breakfast.”
“Yes, Your Grace,” Molly said with a quick curtsey before she left the room.
Bernadette paced the room as she waited, ringing her hands and glancing at the door. Valaria wasn’t like Flora. Flora was gentle, Flora gave space. Valaria would be direct—she’d been through too much not to be. Normally, Bernadette liked both those things, but right now she feared the piercing stare she couldn’t escape.
The door flew open and Valaria entered like a storm. She crossed the room in a few long steps and tugged Bernadette to her. “I heard about your accident,” she whispered against her shoulder.
Bernadette held her closer as she realized what had driven Valaria home so early. “Oh, dearest, I’m fine.”
When she pulled away, Valaria’s eyes were rimmed with tears. “I’m so glad. But I couldn’t wait to see you. I told Callum we must race home.”
“Oh no!” Bernadette said, taking Valaria’s hand and leading her to the chairs before the fire. “How in the world did you even hear of this?”
“Callum took me to a little village not far outside London,” Valaria explained. “To a cottage meant for two. And it was wonderful.” Her face was lit up. “But we went into the village yesterday afternoon and were met with Lady Brentley. She immediately started talking about you almost being run down by a horse. She almost couldn’t wait to tell me.”
“Ugh, I’m sorry.”
“I said I needed to go home and Callum immediately agreed. We packed up and rode through the night. We only just arrived an hour ago and I came straight here.”
“I’m fine,” Bernadette assured her. “I’m perfectly well. Thank God…” She trailed off, but then shook her head. No, she wouldn’t pretend the facts away. “Thank God, Theo was there, he snatched me off the street and saved my life.”
Valaria arched a brow. “Yes, there was a great deal of speculation about Theo and you thanks to the event in question. Before I left London, I ignored what was in front of my face out of respect for you, but I cannot now. Whatisgoing on with you and Theo?”
Bernadette hesitated. And there it was. The question she’d avoided, tried to pretend didn’t exist to herself and others.
“I-I told Flora while you were gone.” She ignored Valaria’s gasp of outrage. “Oh, please, you were having a fine time.”
Valaria smiled a little. “I was. What did you tell Flora, exactly?”
“Theo and I have been…engaged in an affair.” That was true. “It’s over now. I ended it last night.”
She knew her voice wavered by the way her friend put her arm around her and squeezed. “Oh, dearest. I knew it. Although I had hopes it was more than an affair.”
