“Of course,” she breathed, and turned her face, as reality returned and sobered her. What had she been thinking? “Never mind what I was saying, Theo. Have a good night.”
“I do want to talk to you about this,” he said, but Callum was already dragging him away. Bernadette watched him go, watched him look back at her before he was taken from the room.
And she’d never felt quite so humiliated in her entire life.
* * *
Theo’s ears were ringing as he stood in Callum’s billiard room, surrounded by a handful of friends. He hadn’t even heard the toast to his best friend’s happiness, though he’d raised his glass in rote salute.
A life of excess meant he was not easily surprised, but his conversation with Etta had truly shocked him. He’d known her since they were both children and watched her in the years since. He’d always seen her as sweet and soft, kind and comforting. Those qualities had drawn him to her, for they were so opposite to how he saw himself.
But now she had looked him in the eye and asked…asked for something he’d never allowed himself to believe she would desire.
“You looked shocked,” Roarke Desmond said as he approached with Callum at his side.
Roarke was a new addition to their small circle of friends, but Theo liked him. He was intelligent and shared a similar sense of humor to Theo and Callum, who had been friends since they were in school what felt like a lifetime ago.
Callum chuckled. “He does,” he said. “Is the happiness of your friends so terrifying?”
Theo knew they were teasing and normally he would have played along, but right now his head was spinning so his answer was a bit sharper than he would have normally made it. “No.”
Callum’s forehead wrinkled but he didn’t back off. Of course he didn’t. “Ah, then perhaps you are ready to follow us into wedded bliss.”
Theo continued to try to catch his breath and Roarke laughed. “He has no words. Good show, Blackvale!”
Theo shook his head to try to clear it. Right now he was a jumble of thoughts and he didn’t want to share any of them with his friends. What had happened with Etta was between them, no one else needed to know about it. Especially since she would certainly have different thoughts once she wasn’t in high emotion, once she wasn’t a little tipsy from punch.
“It isn’t you, you two idiots,” he said with a forced laugh. “Come, I haven’t toasted the groom yet.” He lifted a glass and smiled at the room. “Let me tell you all about therealBlackvale.”
The other gentleman around them made raucousohhsand Theo launched into a few amusing stories of their misspent youth, but all the while he kept thinking about Etta. He was going to have to address what had happened between them, he would have to figure out how later.
If he could.
CHAPTER2
Bernadette’s head hurt as she sat having tea with Valaria and Flora the next day. She wanted to say it was all because of too much punch, and a great deal of it was. But partly it was because she hadn’t been able to sleep the night before. All she could think of was Theo’s reaction when she’d declared her desire to take a lover.
He'd walked away and hadn’t returned to her, despite his claim that he wished to speak further on the subject. She’d hardly even seen him afterward at the party, almost as if he were avoiding her. And she hated that she’d created a situation when she could have just kept her thoughts to herself.
“Would you like more tea, Valaria?” Flora asked.
Valaria was staring at her plate, a little smile on her face, and she jolted at her name. “What?”
Flora giggled and nudged Bernadette from her own thoughts. “Look at her. She’s so bleary-eyed and with a dreamy expression. It seems as though your wedding night went well.”
Bernadette smiled and it wasn’t forced. Valaria and Callum had rushed to their marriage the moment it was socially acceptable to do so, which meant their wedding tour was slightly delayed. They would go in just a handful of days for what sounded like a wonderful time alone together.
“It isn’t as if Valaria and Callum haven’t been having wedding nights for months before,” Bernadette said, “But oh my, you do look like you enjoyed yourself, my dear.”
Valaria blushed now, all the way down to below the neckline of her gown. “Stop, you two!” she said with a joyful laugh.
“We shall not,” Flora declared. “Tell us, was it different as his wife than it has been as his secret lover?”
Valaria let out a long sigh and clutched her hands at her breast. “It was wonderful. It’s always wonderful, he makes everything wonderful the moment he touches me. But last night I was his wife at last and he claimed me like I was.”
“Oh, I felt the same way with Roarke after we went to Gretna Green last year,” Flora said with a dreamy sigh. “I know some women complain about their husbands as lovers, but it only gets better and better.”
Bernadette blushed at those words. Her friends were discussing the very passion she was trying to address with Theo the night before. The passion she had never experienced and now was drawn to so powerfully.
