“Mmm?” he murmured, his voice sleepy and sated.
She hesitated. Did she want to ruin this moment?
He lifted his head, and there was recognition in his gaze. He realized the time had come as much as she did. “Just say it,” he said. “One of us has to say it.”
She nodded. “Why…why did you go to the army instead of marrying me as we planned? Why did you leave me all those years ago?”
Chapter 15
Nicholas’s vision actually blurred as Aurora said those words.
“What?” he snapped, probably harsher than he should have been. It was only that he was shocked by the question. This twisted version of their shared history that she was repeating. “What are you talking about, Aurora?”
She shifted and her hands dropped away from his skin. Just a little distance, but it felt like a chasm in that moment. “You and I had talked of marrying, and you said you wanted to speak to my father,” she said.
“Yes,” he ground out.
She turned her face. “You went to the army instead. I was so angry about it at the time. How could I not be? My father encouraged that, of course, telling me you never wanted me. I had to come to terms with it and I’m not angry anymore. I just want to understand the past so we can move forward.”
He sat up now, separating their bodies even farther as he stared at her. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Now her eyes flashed and he saw the anger she claimed she didn’t still feel rising up in her. A fire goddess, and he almost leaned into her. Except the subject matter didn’t allow it.
“Stop looking at me like I’m daft,” she insisted. “You didn’t marry me, did you? You left for the army instead, didn’t you? What part of that is something you don’t understand?”
He shook his head. “I-I didn’t join the army because I didn’t want you. I joined because you were marrying Lovell and there was nothing left for me in my old life if there wasn’t you.” Nowshelooked confused, like he was speaking a language she didn’t understand. He ignored the look and continued, “Isawyou together in the garden the night I came to speak to your father about permission to wed. The earl said he’d arranged the marriage and that you were thrilled to get a title. You looked happy together. I saw you smile—I felt it in my soul.”
Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him. “Wait. I-I don’t understand.”
He held her gaze as the understanding dawned on them both. The manipulation came clear. Tears filled her eyes and she lifted both shaking hands to her mouth.
“He lied,” Nicholas whispered. “Your father lied to both of us.”
The tears began to fall, rolling over her cheeks, her hands as she stared at him. Her voice was muffled as she said, “I don’t understand. What did he do?”
“When did he tell you that I left you for the army?” Nicholas asked.
She was fighting to speak and her words were breathless and pained. “Th-the last night we saw each other, when you said you would come in a few days to speak to my father…it was the next day. He produced a letter, Nicholas, in what looked to be your hand. Written to him, telling him to let me down easily. That you’d never intended to wed me.”
“I never wrote such a thing.”
She shook her head, back and forth. As if that movement could erase what had been done. “Then who did?” A sob hiccupped from her throat. “Heforgedit?”
“He must have.” His throat ached from gripping his jaw so tight, from the frustrated emotion that boiled up in him. “That was two days before I came to the house and saw you with Lovell. I’d written you during that time.”
“I never got another letter,” she whispered.
“I thought it odd you didn’t write me back, but I knew I’d see you when I made the offer for your hand. What else did the earl say about my leaving? How did he know I was intending to go to the army?”
“He said something about your father helping to arrange it.”
“My father…” he repeated, needing clarity. “You mean, Gillingham?”
But he already knew the answer. He knew it before she shook her head. He knew it before she spoke.
“No. The last Duke of Roseford,” she whispered.
That hung in the air like a cloud. A question. Was the late Roseford indeed involved in the events of that horrible night? Had he inserted himself? And why? Except Nicholas had his suspicions.
