She blushed. “Er…I suppose. It’s difficult not to hear about it when the world is discussing your potential move to possess it.”
“I suppose there’s no getting around the talk.” He frowned. “And yes. It is an honor to be considered for such a thing.”
“Your bravery has earned you many accolades,” she said as she looked out over the group before them. “You’re celebrated in many circles.”
“And yettheystill question if a common man like me, the kind with bastard blood, the kind raised by a servant …shouldhetruly be gifted with such a title? Every move I make is being watched now, as much for reasons to strip the opportunity away as to grant it.”
She worried her lip and he tracked the action. Such a lovely, full bottom lip. He remembered the taste of it and wondered if it would be the same now, even after all this time. Honey-sweet, soft as satin. “Is that why you’re here? You mentioned you needed this party as much as you assumed I did.”
He nodded, for there seemed no vulnerability in telling her that. Anyone with sense could have guessed his reasons. “Yes. My brother and his club of dukes are some of the most influential men in Society. He invited Northfield here as a buffer. Seems a decent bloke. He hasn’t judged my lack of credentials, at any rate.”
“His wife was lovely, as well,” Aurora said. “I sat with her at supper and she was friendly and open. They would make good friends to you, I’m sure.”
“The kind that open doors,” he said, and frowned. How he hated to count relationships on such terms. That reminded him of the last Duke of Roseford. And of Aurora’s father, too. “I suppose it is the way of the world when one is dealing in something that comes with so much money and land.”
She frowned and her gaze flitted over his face. “It’s so odd to hear you speak in such terms, even if they are practical. You were never one to be interested or impressed by those kinds of things.”
He drew back. Was she judging him for looking at the world through this lens? Especially after she’d thrown him over for a title?
“Well, things change,” he snapped, a little sharper than he intended. “People change. A man with a title has power. You should know that better than most.”
Aurora caught her breath and turned closer toward him. He could scent her now, something floral. Despite the undercurrents of this conversation, he found himself wanting to glide his fingers into her hair, bring it down around her shoulders and drag in a deeper breath of that scent.
“What do you mean, I more than most?” Now it was her tone that was sharp. “Why would I have a deeper connection to such mercenary desires?”
“It’s the world you grew up in,” he said. “Your father was a man with a title. Your husband. Surely you must have seen what they could do with such power. Power to help others or destroy them. Power to protect themselves.”
She blinked and her lips parted. “Protect?” she repeated. “And that is what you want, is it? To protect yourself?”
He narrowed his gaze. What had started off as a conversation of generalities was now too intimate. She would see into the heart of him and he already knew that wasn’t a good idea. Let her in and she could cut him open with just a flick of her wrist. He couldn’t risk that.
“Everyone wants to protect themselves,” he snapped. “It is our nature. Now I see that Huntington has managed to extract himself from my sister. I needed to discuss something with my old friend. Excuse me.”
He left, not waiting for her to respond, and headed across the room toward Derrick. He didn’t necessarily wish to talk to his friend, but he also didn’t think he was capable of standing with Aurora for one more moment. Not when what had begun as a benign enough conversation had pivoted to something with more meaning. Would it always be that way? Would their past and the feelings he hated himself for still sheltering keep him from being able to be casual with this woman?
If that was the case, perhaps heshouldleave.
Derrick arched a brow as Nicholas reached him, and for a moment they just stood together, unspeaking. A little of the tension in Nicholas’s shoulders eased. He had always liked that about military friendships. Those men didn’t feel the need to fill a room with idle chatter.
“Do you want to talk about her?” Derrick asked at last, and the comfort of the silence was immediately shattered.
“Bloody hell,” Nicholas muttered, and downed the remainder of his wine in one glug. “No.”
Derrick pivoted toward him more fully. “Do youneedto talk about her?”
Nicholas’s first instinct was to answer in the negative to that question, as well. Only he stared into his old friend’s eyes and found it far more difficult to do so.
“I’m assuming because you always keep everything so close to the chest, no one else here understands what she truly meant to you. What happened between you,” Derrick pressed. “And perhaps you regret that I know the truth, or some version of it. But since I do…won’t you let me be of service to you?”
Nicholas shifted. “A drunken confession isn’t in my nature.”
“I hope you know I can be trusted with what you told me all those years ago. If it helps, I haven’t even told Selina about that night.” Derrick gave a half-smile. “Not that she doesn’t keep trying to wheedle out anything interesting I might know, especially about you. She’s very persuasive.”
Considering how Derrick and Selina could scarcely keep their hands off each other, Nicholas could only imagine the tactics his sister employed to obtain information. If Derrick could hold up against that kind of torture, he could certainly be trusted. Especially since everything Nicholas felt boiled up inside of him, generating pressure that made him feel like he would burst.
“I have avoided any situation that could have forced this kind of encounter,” he admitted softly. “When I exited the sickbed and started being paraded around as a hero with a potential title, I scoured guestlists, made inquiries, all to avoid Aurora. Not because I didn’t want to see her, but because despite all the time between us, despite the fact that she threw me over for a man with better prospects than she thought I’d ever have…Ido. I have wanted to see her every day since the last. A weakness, I suppose.”
“Some might call that love,” Derrick said softly.
