Only this moment was real.
“Yes,” she gasped out because it was clear he was waiting for a response to his statement. “Talk. You’re right, of course.”
He bent his head, and that broke the intense eye contact they’d been sharing since he entered the room. She was able to find breath again when he did and slow her racing heart. She was glad of both those things. A lack of control wouldn’t serve her in this situation. Not when Nicholas held himself like he had complete sovereignty over his faculties.
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to start by saying I’m…sorry, Aurora.”
She had pictured a dozen scenarios of what they would say to each other since he came down the drive toward her less than an hour before. Rows and accusations she had expected. This?
Well, this was entirely unforeseen, and she blinked up at him in shock. “For…for what?”
His lips pinched. “I’m sorry for my outburst on the drive. It was ungentlemanly to confront you like I did, but especially in front of others. The fact is that I didn’t expect to see you, certainly not here of all places. I wasn’t prepared for what that would…would do to me.”
“I wasn’t either,” she admitted, because his vulnerability stoked a tiny bit of her own.
She moved a step closer and watched his dark brown eyes dilate with desire. She recognized the desire now, in a way she hadn’t been capable of doing as a virginal young woman. Her hands shook from the recognition of it. If he wanted her, that meant he didn’t fully hate her. And that was something small she could cling to with all her might.
“You look beautiful,” he breathed, his gaze flitting over her from head to toe. More of that desire flowed from him, heat that pulsed over her and merged with her own.
“So do you,” she said with a smile.
She expected him to return the expression, but to her surprise, his gaze went flat and he turned away. “No, I don’t. I just look broken.”
Her breath caught and she moved to him without hesitation. “You’re speaking about your injuries?”
He nodded without looking at her. “I’m certainly not the same man I was when you last saw me.”
“You are better.” She didn’t dare say that in full voice. Even as a whisper, she was revealing too much of her heart. She did it anyway. “Your bravery was revered, as it should have been, and those acts have only made you stronger and more…”
She stopped herself because his gaze had swung back toward her. “You followed my actions, did you?”
“Of—of course,” she stammered. “When I heard you’d been injured in the war, I—” She caught herself. If she said too much now she might never stop. But she still needed to saysomething. “I was devastated. I’m so glad you lived, Nicholas. And that you will likely be rewarded for your bravery and selflessness.”
His gaze narrowed and flitted over her, like he was reading her. She couldn’t tell what decision he’d made about whatever he thought he knew now.
“The title isn’t guaranteed, Aurora,” he said, his tone suddenly tense. “Just asnothingin life is guaranteed.”
The sharpness in his voice was back now. The judgment of her and her actions. She found herself turning away from it and from him, unable to bear his harshness when she wanted something softer and sweeter that she’d never have again. If she’d been bewitched by a flash of longing, she couldn’t ignore that more of him was wary and unyielding when it came to her.
“I have offered to leave this house,” she said. “And your sister-in-law has said that I should stay. But in the end, it isn’t about what she wants. It’s you, Nicholas. This is your family and I’ve obviously intruded into a space where I’m not just unexpected, but unwelcome. I should go.”
She pivoted away, moving toward the door before she did something foolish like touched him. Kissed him. Fell to her knees and confessed all her heart to him.
But to her surprise, he reached out and caught her hand, dragging her back toward him a fraction. Lightning crackled up her arm at the touch of his hand on her body, even in this relatively benign way. It had been so long since he last touched her, but she’d been dreaming of it ever since. And now his lean fingers had strength, but didn’t punish or hurt.
His dark stare bore down into hers, unreadable but for one thing…heat. He was looking at her with heat, and her stomach fluttered in needy response.
“Stay.”
Nicholas could barely breathe. Aurora wasn’t wearing gloves and neither was he, so his skin was on her skin, and it was everything he’d fantasized about since the horrible moment he lost her. Now this was sweet torture to hold her, and he wanted nothing more than to drag it out until he burned alive in her heat.
Which was exactly why he could not, should not, do that. He released her with a shudder and forced himself to take a step away.
She was staring up at him in confusion, and he couldn’t blame her. He’d been so cold on the drive. He’d hoped to come into this room and continue to be cold toward her. There were so many questions that loomed between them, about the past, about this scandal she was apparently dragging behind her.
But when he looked down into those warm brown eyes that had always been so kind, so gentle, it wasn’t so easy. She looked…exhausted. Being here would help her, as much as it would help him.
Could he truly rip that away from her? This woman he had loved for all of his adult life?
